Author: Sangely Roman

I am so sick of body shaming. 

I’m sick of fat shaming, skinny shaming, ass shaming and boob shaming.

I’m sick of people being shamed for the color or texture of their skin, for their makeup or lack of makeup, for their clothing or lack of clothing… for their leg, arm or pit hair.

I’m just sick of it.

Don’t feel bad about your body – no matter what.

These are body truths no woman – no one – should ever be ashamed about.

1. Make Body Decisions That Work For You

You have full body autonomy.

Your body is yours. You may choose to stop shaving your legs. You may wear crop tops that show off your stretch marks.

GOOD!

Keep doing it.

2. Your Weight

Your weight is a number.

It’s the least interesting thing about you.

People have their opinions and they will tell you that they are allowed to voice them, but voicing those opinions as they pertain to your body…well sorry for the language… but I say fuck that!

3. You Should Never Worry If Something Jiggles

Never, not once!

You are not jelly, jam or jello. Your jiggles do not matter.

They’re nothing to be ashamed about.

4. Or If Your Thighs Don’t Have A Gap

Why is a thigh gap suddenly seen as so attainable anyway?

You could drop 50 pounds tomorrow and still never have a thigh gap…and that’s okay.

5. …Or If They Do

It’s cool to have a thigh gap too.

Don’t shame people who do. Don’t assume things about them just because you’re up in your emotions.

If you feel the need to shame someone else about something, maybe check your own insecurities first.

Think about what’s making you lash out.

6. Your Hair Is Beautiful, Regardless Of The Length

I hate that this even has to be pointed out.

For the record, your hair is also beautiful regardless of texture or color.

It’s beautiful if it’s kinky, coily, curly or stick straight.

It’s beautiful even if it’s barely there.

7. The Size Of Your Nose

I recently actually saw someone try to insult a girl because of her nose.

She turned him down for a date and he called her fat, said she had a big nose, and that he didn’t want to date a camel anyway.

A CAMEL!

Large, small or in between, your nose is perfect… also screw that guy!

8. Your Laugh Is Beautiful

Maybe you snort when you laugh.

Maybe you chuckle.

Doesn’t matter, your laugh is gorgeous and healthy.

Laugh more!!

9. Your Feet Are Not Too Big

They’re not too small either.

They’re just feet. They hold you up and they keep you in touch with the ground.

10. Remember, There Are No Unflattering Photos Of You

This one’s hard because even I find every picture of myself unflattering.

However, you’re beautiful and photos of you are beautiful, too. I promise.

11. Never Compare Your Real Body To A Virtual Body

Or a photo-shopped body, or a body in the movies or magazines.

Seriously!

I mean, you can’t even compare yourself to a photo of Kerry Washington or Chrissy Teigan because even the most beautiful women in the world can’t compare to their photo-shopped selves.

12. Flats, Heels… Who Cares? Wear What Is Comfortable

Don’t let anyone shame you for the shoes you wear.

That’s so damn stupid.

13. To Makeup Or Not To Makeup

Stop making people feel bad about their makeup choices!

Some women wear lots of makeup. Some women wear a little makeup. Some wear no makeup and then some boys even wear makeup.

It doesn’t affect your life.

If you don’t like someone else’s makeup, don’t wear your makeup in that same way.

14. Your Butt Is The Perfect Shape No Matter Who Says Otherwise

Your booty is wonderful.

You. Your butt, specifically. Give it a squeeze. Love it!

15. Your Boobs Are Ideal, No Matter What Size

Doesn’t matter if you’re busting our of your bra or rocking an A cup.

You’ve got gorgeous breasts.

Yay for your boobs!!

16. Your Lips Have The Perfect Amount Of Pout

And your smile lights up the world.

17. You’re Beautiful, No Matter Who Says Anything Else

You hear me? You are beautiful. You are gorgeous.

You are wonderful.

Women should never be ashamed of their bodies, and yet we see so much shaming all over the place. 

Let’s make a pact. 

If only for one day, let’s stop the negative talk – not just about other women, but also about ourselves.

Join Me?

You'd think that beauty was a superficial external thing according to the media.

The idea that someone has to be good looking to be called beautiful is an insult to the human race.

That women feel pressured into wearing makeup as a beauty ideal is so narrow-minded.

The truth is, beauty isn't in eye shadow or lip gloss. You are beautiful in different ways.

You're beautiful because of…

Your Individuality

Something that makeup can tend to do is replace any uniqueness you might have and turn you into just another woman with a face of well applied foundation and blush.

Don't be afraid to let the world see what you really look like.

Your individuality is what sets you apart from the rest and makes you, well, you!

Embrace your own style and if that means without makeup, then that is absolutely fine!

Your Passion

One of the most important things that make you beautiful is your passion.

A woman's passion can manifest and be directed towards many different things, but what makes you so great is your true interest and passion in something that is there for everyone to see.

Whether it's a passion for your work or a passion for another person, it can make you glow from the inside and people will pick up on this positivity.

Your Spirit

It is not fun for you or for those around you if you are constantly evoking a "Debbie Downer" type attitude.

Show your inner and outer beauty without a trace of makeup by possessing a positive spirit and charisma that improves not only your mood but also the mood of those who spend time with you.

You can be the most glowing person in the room while wearing no makeup at all!

Your Mind

Every single person in the world has a mind that is completely unique from everybody else's, and the unique things that come from your mind and your personal intelligence are what sets you apart from your friends, family and colleagues.

You have a unique way of thinking from those around you, and that is something to be cherished.

Your Resilience

We have all, at one time or another, had to put up with and cope with some real bad times in our lives, and it is the resilience of human beings that makes them so special and beautiful in times of stress and times of need.

Not crumbling in the face of adversity and being strong enough to make it through the rain is a truly beautiful quality that deserves to be applauded.

Your Confidence

You don't need a mask of makeup to put across an air of confidence' it comes from within rather than from an expensive bottle!

If you exude confidence in everything that you do, your natural beauty will shine through brighter than ever.

However, be careful not to let it boil over into arrogance, because that is the exact opposite of a beautiful trait.

Your Compassion

Having understanding and sympathy for people who are struggling is one of the most beautiful qualities a person can possess.

It shines brighter and bolder than anything that makeup could ever do, and makes you beautiful not only on the inside but also on the outside.

Be Beautiful!

To be kind-hearted is a beautiful way to live your life, in the way that you're bringing so much positivity, although it's good to be aware of a few of the reasons why it can be so bittersweet.

1. Others May Take Advantage

Being a kind-hearted person is a great thing to be, although one of the reasons it's bittersweet is that others may take advantage of our kind nature.

This is especially true when they seem to be constantly "taking" what we naturally give and offer, and in most cases we won't receive anything from them in return.

For this reason, it becomes a one-way street where it should always be two-way.

2. You May Get Hurt

Sometimes it can be hard to protect ourselves while being kind-hearted.

This is because being kind-hearted means we keep our hearts open to the things around us, and unfortunately, that includes negativity which can be very difficult to separate ourselves and our precious heart from.

3. You May Be Let Down

Usually being kind-hearted means we like to see the best in other people and think the best of them.

Naturally, we give others the benefit of the doubt because of this.  But sometimes we discover that people aren't always what they seem and that they're not the people we once thought they were.

When this happens we can feel let down, disappointed and disheartened.

4. Others May Not Be Like You

A part of being kind-hearted is about wanting others to be like this too, so that we can spread positivity around as much as we can and live in a better world.

But not everyone is kind-hearted, in fact, some people are the opposite of this naturally.

We can always encourage others to be better, but we can't do much more than this and sometimes we won't see the result we were hoping for.

5. You Give But May Not Receive

We're constantly giving in one way or another, whether that's showing support to a friend in need or spreading our natural warmth to those who are naturally the opposite.

We will do anything that involves giving and sharing a positive part of ourselves but there is no guarantee we will get this back in return.

For example, if we really make the effort to be there for someone we care about, there is no guarantee they will be there for us when we need the support and reassurance.

6. But Remember…To be kind-hearted is a choice we make and a way to live our lives.

In every case, there's a positive outcome and a positive way to look at the situation.

We're choosing to be compassionate, gentle, warm, patient and understanding because it gives us a way to make a positive change to the world, coming from a personal place, and that's one of the best reasons to do it.

7. Kind-Hearted Equals Positivity

These two go hand-in-hand as kind-heartedness is about promoting positivity, and that's the intention behind every big or small thing we do.

It's easy to look at other women and envy their looks.

Most of us do it at one time or another.

If nothing else, we at least admire the beauty of others.

But, a better thought is to find positive ways to embrace what you, yourself were born with.

1. Realize You Have A Unique Beauty

I think beauty vlogger Anna Saccone is absolutely stunning.

I would love to have her exotic beauty!

But I never will so those thoughts are absolutely wasted.

It's far better for me, and all of you, to realize we have a unique beauty of our own.

Unless you're an identical twin, no one else has your exact appearance. We each have our own look and that's something to appreciate.

2. Accept What You Can't Change

We can change a lot of things about ourselves.

Our weight, hair color, style of clothing and makeup are all some examples of those.

But there's a lot of things we can't change, at least without major surgical intervention.

Give yourself the gift of acceptance.

Accept yourself for who you are and realize that you're pretty spectacular just the way you are.

3. Evaluate What You've Got To Work With

After accepting the things about yourself that you can't change and may not love, it's time to think about what you do love.

For example, I love having auburn hair and hazel eyes. I also love having delicate features.

Rest assured, there're many things I don't like about myself!

But I've learned to focus on what I love and work with that.

You can and should do the same thing!

4. Remember That You Notice Your Flaws More Than Anyone Else Does

More likely, the things you dislike most about yourself are going unnoticed by others.

We're almost always our own worst critic.

Realize that your flaws stand out much more to you than they do to others.

Even supermodels have things they're self-conscious about.

Since they're some of the most attractive people in the world, that's a good hint we should all just chill a bit.

5. Shift The Focus

You have a lot of power in your appearance.

It's all about learning what you want to bring attention to and what you want to downplay.

You always want to downplay the things you're self-conscious about.

On the flip side, you want to play up the things you love about yourself.

It's a balancing act that pays off huge.

6. Get Some Perspective

Sometimes the very thing you dislike about yourself is what someone else admires.

It's good to keep this in mind.

It can help give you perspective when you need it.

Sometimes the things we're hung up on are only a matter of personal opinion instead of a true flaw.

7. Love Yourself!

Lastly, the best way to embrace what you were born with is to love yourself!

We're all so hard on ourselves.

We need to change that mindset.

We need to love ourselves and appreciate all the special things that're uniquely us.

This is a gift you can give yourself every day of your life.

These tips can help you embrace what you were born with in a beautiful way.

What do you love about yourself?

When you are young, most of the time you are just trying to push forward, to get more mature, and you forget to live.

Really, really live.

If you are anything like me, you want time to slow down when you get older.

1. Invest In Quality Clothing

Trust me, they never, ever go out of style.

2. Fall In Love At Least Once

Don't close yourself off!

Love is a beautiful thing.

3. Know That Nobody Else Controls You

And if they try, you need a new friend, boyfriend, whoever. 

Nobody should ever control you.

4. If You Feel Hatred, Keep It To Yourself

You should never actively try to hurt anybody else.

5. Forgive As Much As You Can

Don't forget, just forgive.

6. Keep Going And Going, Never Give Up

It will help you in all walks of life.

7. Be Nice

Seriously!

Don't make jokes behind people's back, give back to the community, be nice.

8. Help Animals

In every form.

Whether it's volunteering at a shelter or just adopting a pup from one. Be nice to animals too, always.

9. Find Out What Commands You

 What is at the root of your entire being?

Find it and indulge yourself.

10. Be Active

Always move.

Exercise – whatever form it takes – and keep moving.

11. Find A Role Model

Or a mentor and aim to achieve even more than they could ever, ever do.

It'll push you forward.

12. Don't Go Crazy About Material Items

Sure, when you are young you want to buy the newest of everything but calm down.

Eventually, you want something deeper.

13. Have Trust And Confidence In Yourself

Always!

This is huge and will carry you throughout your life.

14. Don't Worry, Just Try To Live

I love this!

I need this more in my life.

15. Do You

Despite the judgement of others, just do you.

16. Hang Onto Deep Relationships

Always, always hang on to them.

17. Remember, Age Is Not A Disease

 We spend so much time trying to stay young.

Keep in mind, age is not a disease.

It doesn't matter if you're single or in a serious relationship.

No matter what your relationship status is, you should set aside some time to spend alone. It's healthy to isolate yourself every once in a while to give yourself a little love. 

If you're an independent woman who doesn't need her friends or boyfriend around to be happy, here are 7 self-date ideas that you'll love:

1. Get Professional Photos Taken

It's time to take a break from snapping selfies.

In the mean time, you can hire a photographer to take photographs of you, just like you would hire one to take photos of you for your wedding invitations or for family portraits.

It might sound like a waste of money, but the confidence that those stunning photos are going to give you is priceless.

2. Go To The Movies

Some people are embarrassed to walk around in public without a friend by their side.

However, the movie theater is a dark place where no one will notice you're alone.

Even if they do, what's the difference? You don't always watch Netflix while others are around, so why should you wait until others are around to see a movie in theaters?

3. Sketch Nature

Even if you're the worst artist around, painting can make you feel free.

If you don't want to sign up for an actual class, you should at least get some paper to draw the nature you see.

Either stand in front of the window with your notebook or actually go outside and sketch what you see while sitting beneath a tree.

4. Go Apple Picking

When you go apple picking, you're going to be allowed to walk through a large area of land and enjoy the nature.

It'll give you the relaxation of walking through a forest without the danger.

Plus, some places don't make you pay for picking until you actually take fruit from off the trees, so you can get away with going there for free.

5. Go To The Bookstore

If you hate being alone, then you can go to the bookstore or library to read.

There are usually seats that you can plop down on to relax or book signings where you can chat with the author.

You might even meet a friendly face there that you can exchange book reviews with.

6. Go Lingerie Shopping

Even if you don't have a boyfriend, you can benefit from going lingerie shopping.

Slipping into something sexy is an instant confidence booster.

Plus, if you buy matching underwear to wear to school or work, it'll make you feel powerful.

There's something special about wearing the right bra and panties, even if no one else gets to see them.

7. Cook Yourself A Fancy Meal

You shouldn't eat microwavable foods just because you're alone.

You can still create a fancy meal that'll feed a dozen people.

If you have leftovers, you can eat them the next day, or you could give them to your friends at work. So don't hesitate to make an elaborate meal for yourself.

You deserve to eat like a Queen.

It's healthy to have some alone time. Instead of locking yourself in an empty room with your thoughts, you should go on one of these exciting self-dates.

Which one of these dates are you going to take yourself on first?

Living paycheck to paycheck is so hard.

I’ve done it for a very, very long time an just this year, I hope to get a handle of my expenses.

If you are living paycheck to paycheck, you’ll totally relate!

Trust me… the struggle is real.

1. Oops, Can’t Buy That, Too Expensive

Happens all the effing time! You see something you absolutely must have but then get sticker shock.

2. You Create A Spreadsheet Of Your Bills

… and literally almost die because there are so damn many!

3. You Try To Budget

But everything is so expensive… Cue the crazy coupon lady clip!

4. You Scrutinize Every Penny

Because you want to make sure that you aren’t choosing between gas and food for the next few weeks.

5. You Hair Sometimes Looks Faded…

Dye is expensive and getting it done professionally?!

Eff that… WAY too expensive.

6. Sometimes You Have To Buy The Cheapest Makeup

But you work it no matter what!

7. You Get Real, Real Inventive With Home Decor

You have to have the time, you can’t afford anything.

8. Vacations Consist Of A Road Trip Somewhere

Which isn’t always a bad thing.

9. You Pay Off One Credit Card At A Time

The rest of the cards, you pay the minimum.

10. You Get Real Excited For Payday

… then you get real depressed after you realize it’s all gone as soon as you pay bills.

11. You Love, LOVE Tax Time

Unless you are a freelancer, then you HATE tax time.

12. You Get Really Inventive With Your Food Too

You have to try not to waste any food and you try to use ALL of your leftovers.

13. You Have To Limit The Times You Get Takeout

So, you get what you want when it is takeout day.

Pizza?… Hell no, Outback!

14. You’ve Already Canceled Cable – And Live Off Of Netflix

You gotta do what you gotta do.

15. New Clothes? Luxury

Seriously. A luxury.

16. When A Baby Shower Or Wedding Shower Rolls Around…

You have to save up – or really think about using your credit card.

17. You Work To Live, Not Live To Work

Most days, you are just really working to support yourself, not loving what you are doing.

1. You're 'type' changes drastically as time goes by.

Especially in your mid to late twenties. You start looking for deeper and more solid qualities like responsibility, honesty and integrity instead of fun, charming and super hot. You begin to appreciate a partner you can talk to about meaningful things, about your problems, about your family and about your work because as you grow up, the things that matter to you change drastically too.

2. Finding the right career is more important than getting married.

Finding the right career for you is the most rewarding gift you can give yourself. It will give you something to look forward to and will always motivate you to grow and learn new things. It will make you a better person and a happier person and you will not have to depend on love to make you happy.

3. Modern dating sucks but it really teaches you a lot.

Modern dating sucks but with every dating disaster that happens to you, you learn one more thing about yourself and about the person you are looking for. You also learn how to love yourself and you learn at sometimes you have to choose being alone instead of being with someone who is not treating you right or someone who doesn't want to define the relationship.

4. Invest in a few good friends.

Your friends will be your support system forever. The better friends you have, the easier your life will be. Good friends will get you through almost anything in life. Pick them wisely and you will always find someone to lean on when life gets rough. They will be your main backbone.

5. Don't settle.

Don't date someone just because you've been single for so long or because all your friends are married. Don't stay in a relationship that is not good for you because it's comfortable and don't hold on to someone who doesn't love you the way you deserve to be loved.

6. You have to know who you are before getting married.

Getting married when you're in an unsteady place in your life makes you count on the relationship as the main source of your happiness and makes you follow your partner's footsteps without stopping to ask yourself if this is what you really want.

7. Kids are not the answer.

Having kids does not mean you secured a spot in marriage paradise, if anything, it's the ultimate test to determine how strong the marriage is. 

8. You will not 'lose' your married friends.

I think this is the biggest misconception – that you will not be talking to your friends who got married. Once they get past the honeymoon phase, everything will be back to normal and they will still be a phone call away.

9. You can make things happen alone.

You can get your dream job or buy that house or travel to any country without anyone's help or approval. When you are growing up without being committed to someone, you truly have the world in your hands and you can just do whatever you want and become whoever you want. Being independent is a wonderful thing that will make you rich in so many ways. 

In this day and age, being single is actually a privilege – depending on the way you look at it.

10. Marriage is also not the answer.

I mentioned earlier that kids are not the answer but marriage is also not the answer. If you didn't learn to find your happiness alone, you won't find it in your marriage, if you didn't learn to love yourself when you're single, you won't love yourself when you're married, if you didn't find yourself before marriage, you won't find yourself after marriage.

People are told that marriage is what makes them complete but the truth is nothing can complete someone but themselves, their experiences, their passions, their hearts, their intelligence and their strength.

Not all love stories need a happy ending and not all kinds of love need a wedding.

There’s also a kind of love that sees no end and probably doesn’t even have a beginning. It is born and bred in the most mundane moments, at lunch break, drinks after work, while passing a cigarette or running to the convenient store. 

It happens when you are most unprepared and unguarded, never once suspecting there would be a day that a nobody would become a somebody – a special someone you keep coming back to even if it’s only possible in your own memory.

More often than not, it’s the kind of love that’s unplanned and unanticipated. If every time you meet someone new you throw a seed onto the ground, then loving this person is like not knowing that seed has landed on good soil. 

And so before you even realize your garden is no longer empty, your heart has long been captured by the smell of the beautiful flowers blossoming from that seed, and unfortunately by then it’s already too late to fight. 

Just like that, falling in love with this person isn’t really a choice. Though, ultimately, embracing this love is, for all the colors it has breathed into your life and all the joy it has let you experience.

Surely like in any kind of love, at some point you have dreamt of a happy ending or even a wedding. 

You have wondered what it would be like to hold their hands and kiss their lip, to call them when you want and to be the one they see upon waking up, and it wouldn’t just be for a day. It would be every day for many, many days. 

But life doesn’t always go the way you wish. When it’s clear you’re never the person to say “I do” while looking into their bright eyes and chances are high your paths only cross here, you have learned and have made a decision to give your love without needing reciprocation.

What you want before all else is for them to be happy even if you don’t get to be the one to make that happen.

Because you’re sincerely grateful. Because this love builds you and keeps you together. Believe it or not, just by loving them and treasuring what was once shared, you’ve already felt cared for and loved. 

Time might heal wounds and feelings might fade but all the marks they have left and all the ways they’ve changed you are permanent, and you never want to forget it. 

Before them, you didn’t even know you were capable of loving someone on such a fundamental level, standing tall and giving love like it’s endless in you. But they have shown you that you are. 

And despite all scars and heartbreaks, love is not your weakness – it’s your strength.

This kind of love is the kind that doesn’t need to be romantic or sexual. Over time, it has transformed into something so much more, so much purer and calmer. 

It doesn’t ask for touching on the skin or sweet words in the ear. It doesn’t even give a damn about physical distance. 

It stays in the heart, in every step you take, in every interaction you make with the world, during all the dark days you feel like you can’t go on anymore and it’s there to pick you up. It warms you, protects you, reminds you of who you are and were, of how valued and cherished you deserve to be.

One might say this love isn’t real love because you no longer know this person – you only love the airbrushed memories of them and have essentially turned them into a God. But that person is no God. 

The recipient of your love and the source of your strength is indeed a real, imperfect living human who has selfish needs and likely never love you the same – you’re aware of that. 

But at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter – whether you pray to a God or you devote that unconditional love to a human being, or even a memory you can’t clearly remember. What matters is that you know you have love in you and it can only make you stronger.

It’s a miracle that leads you to believe you’re finally ready for a happy ending.

Be a good woman, because you are. Because the world needs more like you.

Be a woman who lives honorably.

Who does the right thing, even when the world isn't looking. Who treats people with love and respect, no matter where they come from, what they look like, or the stains of their past.

Be a woman who isn't afraid to be.

Who isn't afraid to feel, to be herself, to cry, to laugh, to break away from what's hurting her, or to chase things that she feels are important.

Be a woman who doesn't expect everything to be handed to her, but goes out and creates her own world.

A woman who pursues her interests, chases her passions, but never steps on the beliefs of others in the process.

Be a woman who is open.

Who doesn't see herself as the center of the universe, but focuses on other people. Who engages with others' thoughts and opinions; who is continually learning.

Be a woman who is good to men.

Who treats men not like steps to climb or people to provide for her, but as partners. As equals. As beings who are just as human and broken and flawed.

Be a woman that loves.

That is good to her family, her friends, her boyfriend or husband. A woman who puts others first, who considers others feelings, who forgives and gives thanks and doesn't hold grudges.

Be a woman who laughs.

Even on her broken days, even when she is tired. A woman who always finds a reason to smile.

Be a woman who treats people with respect.

A woman that doesn't stand for being regarded as anything less than the treasure she is, but a woman who is that treasure. A woman who is kind and patient, trustworthy and respectful, giving and good – a woman who, without doubt, deserves to be honored.

Be a woman who loves herself, but not more than the world.

Who is strong, but not too strong that she pushes people away. Who is humble, despite her fierceness. Who stands for her rights without stepping on her counterparts.

Be a woman who is loyal.

One who doesn't lie or cheat, one who doesn't go behind her partners back, one who doesn't deceive or break hearts, but a woman worthy of loving.

Be a woman who is imperfect, but always striving to be better.

Who acknowledges her flaws and who apologizes for them.Who knows her weaknesses, but works to overcome them. Who lives a productive life, an always-improving life, a life that shines like the smile on her face.

Be a good woman, because you are. Because the world needs more like you.