To My Ex, It Killed Me When You Didn’t Choose Me, But I Forgive You

I thought to hear you say ‘I’m sorry’ would finally give me the closure I desperately needed.

I wanted more than anything to hear the words straight from your heart that you were sorry for stringing me along, that you’d finally realized it was always supposed to be me and you, that you loved me and this was just a big mistake.

That would’ve fixed us. I would’ve accepted it and welcomed you back with an open heart.

To hear those simple words would have shown me that you genuinely felt bad for causing me so much hurt while you were trying to figure out who you were, would have meant the world to me.

Two words: I’m sorry. That’s all I ever wanted to hear.

You broke my heart not once or even twice, but every single time you built me up to believe I meant more to you than I do. Only  to have you walk away as if I never mattered.

It seems like you just woke up one day and decided I was no longer worth your time. You walked away from me and from us and you never said goodbye.

You never gave me an explanation of what was so wrong with me (us) that you no longer wanted me and I waited so long to hear you say you were sorry for that.

But you probably won’t give me those words and I can’t keep torturing myself waiting around for it.

I waited for you to decide I was worth it, for you to choose me when in reality should have chosen me. I should have chosen better. I should have been worth more to me.

You hurt my feelings, but I let you. And I let you walk in and out of my life at will. But I let myself believe you would choose me in the end but I saw the way you looked at her.

You loved her. You loved her with your whole heart. And I never should’ve tried to stand between you and her.

So maybe I’m the one who owes you an apology. I fought so hard for our relationship, but I knew you loved her. And I knew you were happier with her. I did.  But I was selfish and wanted you to be mine which, ultimately would have made us both so unhappy….

I’m just so sorry that I didn’t walk away when I saw how happy she made you. And I am sorry that I made you unhappy by fighting with you over it all.  Most of all tho, I am sorry that my jealousy  ruined your chances with the girl who truly made you happy.

You deserve happiness and I wish you all the best. And so do I.

Header Image Source

Being Single During the Holidays Sucks, but It’s Better Than Settling for a Douche

I’m sure you’re getting to that point where you’re thinking maybe I over reacted? He wasn’t a bad guy. Sure, he had some flaws, but we all do. I’m not perfect, so why did I expect so much from him?

And with the holidays fast approaching I’m sure it’s tempting to call, SnapChat, text, something to get his attention again because sometimes the holidays suck alone, but that doesn’t mean you should take him back. Whenever you start feeling tempted to reach out to him, just remember that…

You never got a text when he got home at night after a night out with his buddies so you knew he was home safe or that he never answered the phone when you called, or at least called you back in a reasonable time frame. You should also think about the times that you caught him snapchatting other girls or that he hardly showed up on time when you made plans to hang out.

Deep down you know that he was nothing but a douche but the holiday spirit is somehow clouding your judgment. You’re starting to think that even though he wasn’t “perfect” he’s better than no one. FALSE! You deserve the world and not some guy who’s going to bring you down and doesn’t respect you.

You weren’t asking for much from him. And yet, he failed you. He failed to text you and let you know he was safe and sound even after you asked repeatedly. He never answered the phone when you called and always had an excuse as to why he didn’t answer or call you back.

Let’s be honest, whether you call it cheating or not he always had a line of girls waiting to take your place. So yes, you REALLY are better off alone. You are better off just telling everyone you’re still single than going back to his crap.

So I know it’s hard. The holidays are hard. Facing family alone and being the only one left single in the family sucks, but you don’t want him back. You want the idea of him back.

You want the illusion of a good relationship to get your family off your back. You want the picture perfect life that you always dreamed you’d have. You want the man you grew up thinking you’d end up with and build a life with.

Just wait a little while longer. You’ll find a loving, caring man. The man you can tell your secrets to and plan a life with. The man who your family adores. And the man that adores you. The one that doesn’t make you ask for simple things like honesty and respect.

All those long car drives alone to the family may suck now, but you know deep down you’d rather make them alone than to continue to put yourself through the stress and the crap you went through with him. You don’t want to cry yourself to sleep over him anymore and you really don’t want to explain to your family why you all broke up in a few months at the next family event.

You are strong. You will make it through this and you will do it with your head held high. I know from experience the holidays can suck when you’re single, especially when you’re the only one single, but you really don’t want to take him back.

To The Girl Doing Too Much For Everyone And Not Enough For Herself, Read This

It’s okay to admit it — being the one who everyone relies on gets hard sometimes. It doesn’t make you less amazing or less of a woman. It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

We all have bad days.

It’s okay to accept them for what they are though: just a bad day. Not every day is bad. It’s not a bad life. You are no less because you had a bad day. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and move forward. You’ve got this.

We are all fighting a different battle, facing our own challenges, and struggling with different things but we all have one thing in common. We have hopes, dreams, goals, and aspirations and we’re going to keep going until we reach them. And we have too many people relying on us to fail.

Maybe you chose the journey you’re on, or maybe life happened and this is how it played out.

Either way, it’s here now and you’re doing it. You’ve come too far to stop now and there are too many people relying on you.

I know the feeling of wanting to quit…of wanting to crawl under a rock, to hide so no one can find me and ask me for anything else. I know the feeling of not having any more of yourself to give and yet someone else is asking for a piece of you.

Everyone wants a piece of you and no one gets how thin you’re already spread.

When you have those moments remember there are others in your shoes. We’re here. We’re fighting the same battles. We’re exhausted. We’re moody.

We want to quit just like you, but we won’t because we’ve come too far to give up now and too many people are relying on us.

When you want to break down, go ahead. Go ahead and cry.

Go ahead and take that nap. Go for a run. Read a book. Do whatever you need to do to be the best you possible.

I know you feel selfish. I know you feel like you should just be able to keep going. In reality, though, you’re human and sometimes you need a break and that’s okay. We can’t always be superwoman.

No matter where you are in this journey of life someone sees you.

Someone knows how hard you’re working. And there’s a whole army of us out here doing it with you. Look around and you’ll see you’re not alone. And next time you feel like giving up know we’re there with you but you just have to keep going.

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel and as long as you keep moving, no matter how slow, you will make it.

7 Gossip Girl Quotes About Life That Are Almost Too Accurate

Gossip girl was known for drama, relationships, and oh, yeah, drama, but in the middle of all of that awesomeness were some real life lessons. Let’s be real, we all watched for Leighton Meester and Blake Lively, but their words were actually too accurate when it comes to life as a twenty-something. Hate to say it, but I kind of miss Blaire and Serena…

1. Blair: “All this time I’ve blamed you. For pulling me into the dark. But I was wrong. It was me who brought out your dark side.” 

Blair hit us right in the feels with this. We never want to believe we are the problem, but sometimes we really aren’t meant to be with someone. We really do bring out the worst in them and the best thing we can do is bow out. 

2. Blair: “Destiny is for losers. It’s just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen.” 

THANK YOU, BLAIR! Although I believe in destiny we can’t spend our whole life waiting for an opportunity to come knocking. We have to start opening doors and seeing what’s behind them. 

3. Blair: “Just because we can’t be together doesn’t mean I don’t love you.” 

*tears* Such an emotional moment. There will always be that one. The one you love that no matter how hard you tried you could never be with, it would never work, but oh how much we wanted it. 

4. Blair: “Once men have tasted caviar, it baffles me how they settle for catfish.” 

SO MUCH, YES!! How do people go from someone AMAZING to someone who can barely handle just taking care of themselves and then somehow expect the relationship to be great? And then when it fails they want to come back to the person they had before. UMM, NO! 

5. Gossip Girl: “Sometimes you need to step outside, clear your head and remind yourself of who you are. And where you wanna be. And sometimes you have to venture outside your world in order to find yourself. As for me, I’m happy right where I am. I only wanna be with you. xoxo . . . Gossip Girl” 

I can’t even put into words how true this is. It’s so easy to get bogged down with everything going on every day and stuck in the rut of the day to day but sometimes we’ve got to stop, look around, and remember what our goals are and evaluate if we are doing anything to push ourselves to them. 

6. Gossip Girl: “They say every action has an equal and opposite reaction, and once something is set on motion, it can’t help up to build a momentum.”

This holds true for the good and the bad. Set yourself on a positive track and work hard towards achieving your goals and life will happen, but if you let the bad take flight it will keep going until you make the effort to stop it. 

7. Gossip girl: “They say the universe has a great sense of humor. That sometimes having your dreams come true can feel like a nightmare. Because getting what you want always come with strings attached.” 

This hasn’t been a fun life lesson to learn. Everything comes with a price. Whether you pay it with money, your time, or some other way; everything has a price. Are you sure your willing to pay it? 

For more like this, check out our Facebook Page!

America, when did we become so divided?

Waking up to the news that Las Vegas was the newest victim of such a horrifying event left me struggling for words. America, when did we become so divided, and when do we wake up?

It’s easy to feel lost in a world of tweets, social media posts, news articles, and media all designed to get us to feel nothing but anger and hate at one another. A media only aimed at further separation. 

It’s easy to lose sight of what it means to be united but when we hear the news of bystanders springing into action to care for the injured makes me think there is hope. Hope that maybe we can find our way back.  As Martin Luther King Jr. said  “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

This is the most deadly mass shooting in U.S. history. Followed closely by the Pulse Night Club Shooting, and Virginia Tech. America it’s time to wake up! This has gone on too long. 

The Heroic actions of Police officers, who in the middle of the carnage in Vegas, stood tall to try and lead everyone to safety, and our Veterans who jumped into the fray to tend to the wounded as best as they could with no thought to their own lives. These are the acts of unity that will remain with us long after this event.  

Mass shootings do not discriminate. This is about human life. This is about people. They are mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, and friends. They are someone’s world and someone’s world is now shattered. 

Do you remember when Virginia Tech happened? It was the largest school shooting since Columbine. The outpour of support for the faculty, the students and the campus as a whole was second to none. 

Pulse nightclub is known for being a gay bar and that alone is enough to drive a wedge between many. And yet, when a shooting occurred no one cared who was gay or straight. We cared, as a nation, about the pain and suffering experienced. We put away our views on sexuality and we loved everyone for who they were. And we stood with them in their time of need. 

And yet when Colin Kaepernick or any other player in the NFL kneels for the anthem we divide. We choose to support our military or support a movement. For Kaepernick this isn’t about supporting or not supporting our military or loving America. It’s about Unity. 

I think Angela Danker said it best when she said:
This isn’t about stats.
This is about Kaepernick refusing to play his role. Stay in his lane.
This is about America waking up to its racist roots: even in a league that offers a rare chance for African American men to be millionaires.

We stand united in crisis. We stand united when the bad guys come knocking on our door. We stand together to help those hurt by natural disasters. So America, it’s time. Wake up. 

It’s time to stand united in the face of racism. As Martin Luther King Jr also said: “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” So where will we stand America? Will we be a nation united, or will we do what is easy, and continue to divide?

For more from ShelbyLynn, visit her fan page here

To Those Who Believe Suicide Is an Easy Way Out, Screw You

Suicide is not a cop-out, it’s not weak, and it sure as hell isn’t easy.

How can one possibly think it’s easy to wake up day in and day out hurting so much that they just want it to end? How can you think that it is easy to go through a life that is so miserable it feels impossible to deal with it anymore?

Those who choose suicide do not take that decision lightly. It’s not made in haste. It’s made from feeling so helpless, so worthless, so uncared for, and so utterly defeated that life will never become more manageable and things will NEVER feel better. 

And it sure as hell isn’t a decision made overnight. Suicide isn’t the first thought after a bad day. It’s after extended periods of not feeling good enough. It’s after extended periods of sadness and hurt. 

It’s after wanting to disappear, after exhausting every coping mechanism you have and possibly every resource available.

You don’t just wake up one day and decide today’s the day. Today’s the day it all ends. Today is the day I kill myself. It’s a process. It’s a struggle between wanting to live but not wanting to continue living like this.

Suicide is a deliberate choice. It is not an accident, it’s planned. It’s scary, hard, and emotional. 

It is the feeling of hitting rock bottom but still feeling like you’re falling deeper into it. It’s the time of being so low for so long that it’s impossible to think there may ever be a glimmer of hope again. 

It’s being trapped in a tunnel so long back that seeing the light at the end is impossible. 

How do you think it feels to take a bunch of pills? To literally swallow a handful of pills and feel your body destroying itself from the inside out. To feel your breathing slow down. To feel your heartbeat slow. It’s not a quick process. It’s slow. And it is painful.

Do you think it can possibly be easy to sit and hold a gun to your head and pull the trigger? No, you’re shaking. You’re scared. And if you miss even a slightly you don’t die. You live and you have to relearn how to walk, talk, etc, all over again.

How can one think it is easy to drown oneself or die by carbon monoxide poisoning? It literally takes EVERYTHING you have to fight against your body’s actual desire to live.  

Your body will default into fight or flight mode and try to live and you have to will yourself into not fighting. You feel your body fight for air then suffocate or drown.

Suicide is not an easy way out. It is not a cop-out. It is not a simple solution to one’s problems. It is losing the ability to continue to fight a battle that will never end. It’s giving into the demons that have fought for so long and so hard to destroy you.

If you still believe suicide is an easy way out in some way I don’t think screw you is strong enough.

For more like this, check out our Facebook Page!

Do Yourself A Favor And Ignore Anti-Vaxxers

I’m sure everyone has heard the horror stories of someone’s child getting extremely sick or even dying 'from vaccines.' Or, getting Autism from vaccines. I’m sure we all remember Jenny Mccarthy screaming from the rooftops that her child's Autism was a direct result of a vaccination.

There is no data to support the link between vaccines and autism. Dr. Andrew Wakefield was the one who made the claim in 1998 in a paper that was later discredited, and he has since lost his license to practice medicine.   

Researchers have studied thimerosal, a mercury-based preservative, which anti-vaxxers claim is the cause of autism, to see if it had any relation to autism and what do you know? That came out to be negative as well. 

So, what are the real side effects of vaccines? Let’s look at what the experts have to say. According to NHS Choices, vaccines are among the safest medicines and the benefits of vaccinations far outweigh the risk of side effects. 

Cons include redness and swelling around the injection site, and younger children may be irritable or may run a slight fever. And rare side effects include: allergic reactions ranging from rashes to anaphylaxis. 

The pros are that your child is protected against fatal diseases and illnesses.

If it wasn't obvious already, having a vaccination is much safer than not having one. Duh. 

"They're not 100% effective in every child, but they're the best defense against the epidemics that used to kill or permanently disable millions of children and adults.” (Benefits and Risks of Vaccination, July 2016)  

But you should always talk to your doctor and refer to the literature from doctors, the Centers for Disease control, The Department of Health and Human Services, etc.

I am so tired of hearing anti-vaxxers scream about the horrors of vaccines. Or hearing celebs say their child’s problem was caused by vaccines. 

If you still don’t want to vaccinate your child, fine. But if your reasoning is anything less than a well informed, educated decision then you need to re-evaluate. 

Diseases that were once eradicated are back and they won’t just disappear. Your child may truly be at risk of dying from one of these diseases before they are even old enough to be vaccinated. 

Your choice to vaccinate may be yours but it also impacts my kids and everyone else’s as well. Our vaccination strategy is community immunity. This is what protects the little ones who haven’t been vaccinated yet, those who are immuno-compromised and cannot receive all vaccines, and the elderly who may not have been vaccinated due to age. 

I hear celebs speak out against vaccines, and I read articles shared all the time about the horror stories of 'deaths by vaccines,' and I'll never say the death of a child isn't a tragedy, but not vaccinating does not guarantee your child's life. 

It just guarantees them risk to diseases they have no reason to be susceptible to, and it leaves my kids vulnerable before I even get the chance to make that decision for them. 

Why I'll Always Regret Not Telling My Ex I Still Loved Him

I didn't know things had gotten so bad. I didn't know life was becoming too much for you to the point where you didn’t even see the point anymore.  

We weren’t really in each other’s lives since our breakup but I never stopped loving you, not even for a second.  

I drive myself crazy wondering if I had reached out, would things be different? Did you know my number was still the same? Would you have come to me if you knew I’d drop everything and be by your side in a split second? 

When our relationship ended it was terrible, but you still had a special place in my heart. You crossed my mind every time I came home. I always wondered if you were doing okay, if you were working, if you were happy…  

Did you know that I never stopped thinking about you?  

The day you died was one of the hardest days of my life so I can only imagine how hard that day was for you. The moment I heard you took your own life my whole world came to a screeching halt.  

You were gone and my world felt empty without you. 

As I stood there lost in time, so many memories flashed through my mind and honestly, they haven’t stopped yet. My mind is flooded with your laugh, your smile, your kiss. 

You stopped being mine a long time ago, so maybe it’s not my place, but I would’ve fought every single one of your demons with you. 

And it breaks me to think of how hard your last few hours and days on Earth were. You must have been so scared, so lonely, nervous and anxious. 

I just hope you knew how deeply you were loved, even in the moments it didn’t feel like it, you were.  

And I hope you know I’m so sorry I wasn’t the friend I promised you I’d be. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to keep you in my life, I’m sorry you had to fight this battle alone.  

Because my heart will always have a piece that belongs to you, forever and always. 

Keep The Girl Who Has a Heart of Gold With a Take-No-Shit Attitude

She’s not a bitch, she’s confident. She knows exactly what she wants, when she wants it, and if it so happens to be you, you should consider yourself lucky. 

And honestly, only a real man will be able to handle all this sass.

When you meet the girl with a heart of gold and an personality that takes no shit, keep her because…

You’ll never question if she likes you or not.  Because if she didn’t, she wouldn’t touch you with a nine foot pole. 

And you’ll never have to ask “are we okay?” Because if you’re not, she sure as hell is going to tell you. 

This girl has sky high standards. Call her stuck up, call her uppity, she’ll take it as a compliment. If it means knowing what she deserves, then she’ll take it. 

She’s not the type to smile and giggle at everything you say. If you say something that was rude, she’ll call you out on it. 

She’ll challenge you and make you a better person without even realizing. 

But once an argument starts, she’s quick to hash it out and let it go. She’ll never hold onto something you said for weeks and bring it back up when you piss her off. 

She will find a solution and move on ASAP. 

And she sure as hell will never ‘play dumb’ for you. She’s strong and intelligent and will never look to you for reassurance, she can get it all on her own. 

Because she can fight her own battles. She knows exactly what she believes in and if someone challenges it she’s going to rip them a new one. Conflict does not intimidate her, it actually revs her up. 

She has her own goals and will achieve them all on her own.  Once her mind is made up she’s all in and will succeed come hell or high water, but if you want to be there she won’t stop you. 

She doesn’t need a cheering section, but appreciates it if she has it. She’s fiercely independent and would never come to you for support when doubt takes over, but she’ll love you extra if you do it on your own. 

And the best part about her, is she will never screw you over. Because she knows what it feels like and is too real of a person to allow herself to make you feel that way. 

She’s honest, most times brutally, and wouldn’t have you in her life if she didn’t want it 100%. 

Because when she loves, she loves with her entire being. Not a single bone in her body will question how she feels about you. 

If you’re lucky enough to call her your girl, never let her go. 

Dump the Douche Who Uses SnatchChat Behind Your Back

A guy who engages on the secretive element of Snapchat a bit too much and takes it too far is not the guy you want to trust with your heart. 

On this app everything “deletes,” literally disappears in a matter of ten seconds after you’ve viewed it, including texts aka Snatchchat. It’s all fun and games until your guy starts using it behind your back, chattering the trust you have for him in the same amount of time it takes for that naked pic he just received from a random girl to disappear. 

Let's be real, Snatchchat has the ability to ignite douchey behavior on guys, if they are prone to it, of course, like my ex. 

He was able to add girls to Snapchat that I didn't know about. He could message them all day long, send them pictures, whatever and I would literally never be the wiser. 

It was a little different when Snapchat showed your “Best friends,” but when that went away it became fair game to talk to anyone. 

No one deserves the aggravation of constantly testing someone's trust.

Now, In my defense I am not the girlfriend who has ever gone through my boyfriends phone and I am still not that girl. Never have been and I sure as heck never will be. But there’s just something about the fact that I could…

Maybe that’s why he didn’t talk to other girls before the app came along. In the back of his mind he knew if I ever did look at his phone I would find evidence that he was talking to other girls. Is that even the right reason not to do it?

Maybe he was always going to be that guy, but I will truly say Snatchchat increased his abilities to majorly screw up his relationship with me over few seconds ego boosts.  

I knew what cheating looked like long before this came about but when there are girls out there sending naked pictures and videos of themselves all the time. Why not wander if your girlfriend is never gonna find out? Snatchchat made it so easy to find that; snatch. 

I’m all about loyalty and honesty and I don’t do or like jealousy, but Snapchat brought it out in me, or may I say he brought it out in me through this the app and no guy should ever shake your values. 

I’m not saying every guy with snapchat on their phone treats the app as a hookup app, but I know that the next guy who’s glued to the app is not a guy I want to date. Period.

Exit mobile version