Author: Sonya Matejko

Let’s get right to it.

You’re a boss babe and this is 2017. You’re working a full-time job and also working on your side hustle (or two). You have Bachelorette parties and weddings to pay for. You have vacations to plan out. You have bathing suits on hold for the weekend in the Hamptons and shoes you’ve been eyeing on LIKEtoKNOW.it.

Or maybe you’re still paying off your student loans or even saving up to buy a house in South Florida. Maybe you’re trying to make a name for yourself, using every bit of your savings, and doing your damnedest to create something that makes an impact. Whether you’re running a local blog or an angel-invested startup, you’re trying to make it in a world full of constant change.  

Thankfully, like I said, this is 2017 and that change means that there are a variety of new ways to engage with your consumer. And as they say, a little help never hurt anybody.

• Create a Facebook Group. Or join a Facebook group! There are a lot of like-minded people out there and this social media platform allows for open dialogue. Create one to share your latest business updates, or join one to build your tribe by sharing thought leadership with diverse or compatible audiences. (I personally enjoy We Are Travel Girls).
• Schedule a live Twitter chat. Give your customers a chance to ask the tough questions, the curious questions, and even the bizarre questions! Allowing yourself to be open will build trust in your base and increase retention.  
• Text with your customers. 80% of professionals are already using texting for business and 78% of people wish they could have a text conversation with a business. If 4.2 billion+ people already text worldwide, you should most definitely consider it for your business. (TextRequest)
• Be active on Snapchat. Just be a real person. People need an entrepreneur to look up to, a boss babe to admire, but they also want to know that you go to the grocery store without makeup and like to take selfies with a puppy-dog face just like the rest of us.
• Start a YouTube channel or Podcast. One of my favorite people to follow is Hilary Rushford of Dean Street Society. I’ve taken her course, Double Your Instagram Following, and she does a great job of sharing video content with her many followers.
• Host a workshop or speak on a panel. Take what you’ve learned and share it with others. A great example is Jeremy Goldberg, of Long  Distance Love Bombs, who shared on his Facebook page how he got his first speaking gig and now he’s even spoken at TEDx.
• Go old school and write “thank you” notes. Sure, this isn’t new, but it’s kind of like high-waist jean shorts – it was always bound to make a comeback! People will definitely appreciate the extra effort and the sentiment behind it.

The most important thing though? To keep engaging. It’s just about having a conversation, but you choose the platform to do it on. 

"One of the most important things I have learned is that businesses don't fail, entrepreneurs give up. Now sometimes,  giving up is the right decision. But usually, you just need to dig in and figure out how to make things better. Remember: Every day is a new opportunity to get  up and do it better than yesterday!" 

— Adda Birnir, founder and instructor, Skillcrush

Valentine’s Day is here again and for those of us that are single it’s definitely not our favorite day of the year. Alas, it also shouldn’t be the worst day of the year because we still have the opportunity to celebrate the relationship we have with ourselves.

Why not give into the holiday, just a little bit? You might not have a significant other to shower you with gifts, but you do have yourself… and if you haven’t noticed, you’re pretty incredible on your own.

And to answer your question, yes you do deserve a present on Valentine’s Day, and no it’s not too late to buy yourself something. So take out your credit card and treat yourself because celebrating love shouldn’t be discriminated against singles:

• A membership to your favorite gym or yoga studio. Depending on where you live, a membership might be ridiculous expensive. But, if it makes your heart happy and your body healthy then it’s the best time to splurge on it.
• A personal shopper experience with the click of a  button. Hate shopping or don’t have the time for it? Try a service like StitchFix to get brand new outfits delivered to your doorstep. It really is that easy.
• A 30-day detox to get your mind and body right. Pick out a detox tailored  to your health needs and then maybe add this adorable unicorn Tumblr to put the juice in so your colleagues don’t pester you about being on one.
• That dress you love online but have no immediate  reason to wear. Sure, there might not be any event on your radar that would be an excuse to buy the dress you saw on liketoknowit or in the store window. But sure enough, one day there will be and you’ll be glad you already have a killer dress (and yes, go ahead and get the matching shoes too).
• Your favorite flowers and chocolate. There is nothing sad about getting yourself roses and Godiva on Valentine’s Day – and you definitely do not need a man in your life to buy them for you.
• A new cookbook to give that “cooking” thing a shot. Add some fun and flavor back into your kitchen because you’d be surprised how many cookbooks exist for cooking for one.
• A spa package because you totally deserve it. How amazing does either a mani-pedi, or facial, or deep-tissue massage sound? Let’s be honest… all three together sound even better…
• That plane ticket you keep checking the price of. It’s time to let go of Google Flights and Kayak – just book it already! It’s about time you stopped talking about traveling and just did it. Adventure is calling your name.
• A companion. If you’re really feeling lonely, why not get yourself a pet? You can go as simple as getting a fish, or you can finally save a dog at the local animal shelter instead of crying over of Sarah McLachlan commercial and really cute puppy Instagrams.

Not sold on any of these suggestions? No worries, I’m not the only one planning on indulging on myself this year. There’s also this, this, and this. Something for everyone, even those of us that are single.

"Instead of celebrating  Valentine's Day this year, I'm celebrating Discount Chocolate Tuesday." – Unknown

2016 is officially behind us, and we’re challenged with a new year of possibilities, opportunities, and adventure. There were undoubtedly good things that happened in our lives last year, but there is always room to grow and to create change.

Whether it’s learning from past mistakes, the courage to make new ones, or living in the moment… we’re making our own history as we speak. What do you want this year to mean to you? Who do you want to be at the end of it?

There are good reasons why we fail at making resolutions; one of the key things is to not make them too vague or too aspirational. Start small, make them doable, and see how 2017 can stand out from all of the rest. 

• Travel somewhere off the beaten path. Don’t go off of magazine’s Top 10 lists or copy your friend’s past vacations. Go somewhere unique, and discover what the rest of the world is missing.
• Read a book at the bottom of the bargain bin. Who knows what treasures you’ll find buried in a bargain bin. It might be a snooze, but it may also be the best book you’ve ever read that no one had given a chance to before.
• Create trends and design your own clothing. Sure, you can be trendy and where the same top everyone on the street is wearing. Alternatively, you can make the top people want to be sporting.
• Live in the moment instead of on Snapchat. Experience your life in the present so you have real memories to look back on in the future, instead of only selfies.
• Do that one  thing you always said you would. Like they say, there’s no time better than the present. You shouldn’t need a New Year’s resolution to follow your dream. No matter how scared you are, it’s scarier not to try.
• Go to local events by yourself and make new  friends. Try an improve class. Go to a networking event. Find a fitness club of something you’ve wanted to take a stab at. Sign up for speed-dating. The options are endless.
• Listen to up-and-coming artists instead of Top 40. You’ll be sick of your favorite song because February even gets here. Broaden your musical horizons and find the undiscovered artists that deserve to be heard.
• Do your research, and invest in your future. It’s about time you start planning ahead for yourself. Bulk up your savings account, set up or edit your 401k, and get smart about your budgeting.
• Treat yourself like you treat your Instagram  profile. Take away the filters, the editing apps, and work on what you’re correcting. Eat well and workout more if you want to look thinner. Sleep more and learn to meditate if you’re erasing bags. Invest in better skincare or a treatment. A filter can’t change how you feel about yourself.
• Update your resume and refresh your LinkedIn. Even if you have ultimate job security, it’s always smart to be up-to-date when it comes to your career.
• Have a voice and share it with the world. Have something you want to say but nowhere to say it? Don’t be afraid to share your views and your opinions – you never know how it can connect to one, or millions.
• Pick the longer route to see something new. Your favorite coffee shop could be right around the block you’ve never walked on.
• Talk to the stranger on the plane/at the bar/at  Starbucks. It sounds scary, especially for introverts. But what do you have to lose? Who knows what connections you can make and the stories you can hear. All it takes it a “hello.”
• Keep dreaming, even when you’re awake. Don’t just image, but do. Make a plan and attack it with all you have. Now, you’re a dreamer. Soon, you’ll be a doer.

Don’t just wait for it, go create your future now.

You look like you need a vacation. Heck, I just got back from one, and I already feel like I need another. But what types of vacations are we taking? Are you visiting a city and essentially having the exact same experience as your friend when they went last summer or like the blogger that you follow religiously?

Would you rather take a unique vacation where it feels more like you live there versus just visiting temporarily? Wouldn’t it be nice to have the type of vacation where you actually experience a place instead of just checking off tourist attractions?

You look like you need a vacation, but more than that… you look like you need to take one as a local. Lucky for you, I know just the thing.

• Put your walls down. Don’t be afraid to let your hair down, give into the music, smile at the handsome stranger, and live in the moment. Discover yourself in the middle of the uncomfortable.
• Take a wrong turn. Sometimes you can put away Google Maps and just follow your intuition. Of course, be smart and safe about it, but you never know what magic you’ll find around the corner.
• Explore with a local. It’s best if you have a local to show you around or make friends while you’re in town. Their perspective and guidance will completely change your next move.
• Put away your cellphone. You can Instagram later, the app isn’t going anywhere. Focus on living in the now instead of seeing a vacation through a screen as if you weren’t even there.
• Rent a home or apartment. Instead of trying to find an overpriced hotel, book a furnished apartment in the best part of town without the price tag.
• Pay attention to detail. Take a look at how the locals dress, the food on their plates, the drinks they pair their meals with, how they walk on the streets, and how they talk to their loved ones. Experience their life by the minutiae.
• Learn the language and customs. If you’re traveling abroad, try teaching  yourself a few key phrases to get by. While you’re at, learn a few of the local customs. This type of respect will get you a long way.
• Ignore packaged tours. Forget the bus tours or expensive super-organized tours. Take advantage of free walking tours or pick a few key attractions to see on your own.
• Take public transportation. Not only do you save money by taking public transportation, but you’re likely to see more while doing so.
• Do you research. It’s always best to have a handful of things you want to see and have some general knowledge about a destination so you don’t leave it feeling regretful for not seeing enough.
• Consider volunteering. A lux vacation is great and all, but imagine the warmth in your heart you’d feel if you volunteered for something like Habitat for Humanity or one of the many other charitable organizations around the world.
• Try traditional foods. Do not choose things on the menu that are your usual go-to. Be adventurous, ask the waiter their recommendations, and taste what it’s like to live here.
• Start more conversations. Ask your cab driver questions. Start a rapport with the local barista you get your morning coffee from. Chat up someone standing next to you in line. Everyone has a story they’re just waiting to share.
• Go during, or closer to, off-season. Instead of competing with a flurry of tourists, do yourself a favor and give yourself the gift of having more room to breathe and more time spent outside of lines.
• Allow yourself to be a tourist. Alright, give in a little. After all, you are a tourist aren’t you? So take that cheesy picture, do that cliché thing, and don’t you dare feel a bit guilty about it.

And remember, an amazing adventure doesn’t have to cost you your entire savings. There are plenty of ways to be frugal as well as thrifty. Besides, as someone wise once said, “Travel, go as many places as you can. You can always make money, but you can’t always make memories.”

We’ve gone the vast majority of our lives slowly preparing for our careers. We were molded to believe that all of our education and experience was going to lead to us pursue our destined designation once we reached adulthood.

We grew up in a world where 9-5 was normal, but when we turned into grown-ups we realized it was anything but normal. Now, it was simply average. 

To survive in this day and age – to really make a name for yourself – it’s not enough to bust your ass through school, through internships and part-time jobs just to land behind a desk and clock out at 5 or 6pm.

Today, in this world, the real success stories are the ones that don’t always sleep or the ones that use the time they do have uniquely. We’ve come to the point where a typical 9-5 can be considered slacking.

But I know you’re not a slacker.

I bet you’re a dreamer.

Are you a dreamer?

Well, then dream big, darling. It’s time you pursued your passions and not just your paycheck. It’s about time you finally stopped being afraid of what could happen if you followed your dreams.

It’s long overdue for you to trade lofty sleep for making your dreams come true. Even if you start small, it’s better now than ever to begin the journey you’ve always wanted to be on.

Does the idea of adding even more to your already busy plate terrify you? Good. That fear is good. That fear means you’re headed in the right direction.

You need to chase that same fear because being afraid means it’s something that you really want. Do you want to know what’s on the other side of that fear? Success.

Forget your 9-5. This is how you start a side hustle off the clock and here are 14 ways to succeed:

• Become a stylist. Check out the amazing Hilary Rushford and the type of following she has from starting stylist to going entrepreneur.
• Find a simple, daily problem and solve it. Check out what a friend of mine is doing with something as simple as replacement laces.
• Open your own online store. Sites like GoSpaces allow you to do that, and if you want to sell clothing, Wunderlabel provides unique branding opportunities.
• Be a freelance writer or blogger. Sites like Cooperatize and Social Fabric give you the opportunity to participate in sponsored posts and more.
• Sign up to be a freelance designer on sites like Fiverr or 99Designs. You can take up as much work as you can handle and start building your brand on your terms.
• Start a new media website. Take a look at where Elite Daily is now and how well it’s doing. Other sites, like 20something are following suit.
• Launch a Kickstarter campaign to fund a really great idea for a product or service you’ve planned out to develop and need investment for.
• Pursue artistic passions like painting or crafting and sell your artwork on sites like Etsy.
• Go back to school in the evenings and the weekends. Go get that Masters or that PHD that you’ve dreamed of achieving.
• Teach yourself new tricks on your own like a new language, coding, or a certification in your field that could lead to further opportunities down the road.
• Spend the time and research to educate yourself in stocks and bonds and invest your money wisely. Or become knowledgeable in more unique financial ways like The Points Guy.
• Become a coach of sorts… There are insanely successful life coaches and dating coaches that are making a killing in their respective arenas.
• Find little opportunistic ways like these to make money on the side to fund your passions later.
• Refine your palette and create recipes to share across social media or a website that could lead to a tasty future such as these Instagram food  bloggers.
• Do something that’s not on this list and completely unexpected.

Whatever you do, be bold and be brave. You only have one life to make a name for yourself in. Don’t let it fade into just another name on the payroll.

Go take what’s yours. Go take your dreams when the sun goes down and the day is done. They always said the night is for dreamers after all.

Winter finally decided to show up, but have you locked down a “Winter Boyfriend” yet? If you didn’t get cuffed during cuffing season, don’t worry too much. There are plenty of ways to get through the coldest season happily and solo. These are the 12 essentials to get you to the spring:

1. Wine. This is probably the most important thing you need in your apartment to get you through the winter. It’s a cold world out there but a good glass of red wine could warm you right up. Bonus points if you make it mulled and have an extra-large glass, There is nothing better than mulled wine! Check out this recipe here.
2. Warm Pajamas. You’re probably going to end up wearing pajamas more often than real clothes, and that’s perfectly okay. Get some with hoodies, footsies, or some clever pun on the front. Just make sure they’re warm enough without someone to cuddle. 
3. Fitness Routine. Don’t let yourself go this winter. Start working on your summer body immediately. If it’s too cold to go outside, then try online videos and lessons from your living room. Most importantly, don’t do it for anyone other than yourself.
4. Netflix. When you don’t feel like putting on layers and venturing outdoors go ahead and just continue watching one of Netflix’s many shows. There’s something for everyone and there’s no one there to judge you if you get through a whole season on Saturday.
5. Scented Candle. Don’t let your apartment smell lonely and bleak this winter. Make your apartment inviting by filling it with some of the most delicious scents, or customize one with a photo from summer to give you something to look forward to.
6. Planner. This isn’t the season to be lazy. This is the season to get shit done. So whip out your planner and knock off the things you’ve been avoiding on your to-do list, and start working towards some long term goals. Cold, or not, you’re coming in hot this 2016.
7. Fluffy Socks. Since you wont be getting foot massages from bae this winter you can settle for fluffy socks to massage your feet with softness. Seriously don’t underestimate the power of a really fluffy sock – especially if you have hardwood floors #danceparty.
8. Delivery. As there won’t be a male in your life willing to risk the cold to grocery shop or pick up food, your best bet is delivery. Don’t go crazy thinking this means pizza 24/7 or that you should give up cooking all together. Remember, summer will be here soon.
9. Spiked Hot Cocoa. For those extra cold nights that you’re feeling a little more lonesome than usual, add some booze into your hot cocoa. Experiment with different flavors, and drink responsibly (aka don’t let this lead to any drunk texting from home).
10. Bad Romance Novels. While these aren’t for everyone… we all may get a little bit desperate during the long, dark, cold winter nights. So take that book from the hidden part of your shelf, curl up on the couch, and open up your imagination. 
11. Comfy Couch. Whether this is the place you first stumble when coming in for warmth, where you make a fort, or just where you unwind, make sure it’s comfortable and sturdy enough to get you through this chilly season. And by golly sprawl out!
12. Passport. Winter doesn’t mean you’re stuck. Buy a plane ticket to somewhere warm and get away for the weekend. Or spend the winter proactively planning a trip you can look forward to later in the year (preferably on a beach with a margarita in your hand).

Winter doesn’t have to be depressing just because you’re single. Winter could be the season you get in shape, try new foods, book a bucket list trip, catch up on Netflix, read a little more, and make goals that make you excited to wake up in the morning (regardless of the temperature).

So, it may be cold, but there are many ways to keep your heart warm this season.

I was 15 in 2006 when my parents came back with a brand new silver Honda Civic. This was going to be the car I practiced with while on my permit and got once I obtained my license. While I should’ve been excited, the first (and spoiled in hindsight) thing I said was “wow that’s such an ugly shaped car.”

Even if that car was still one of the least pleasing looking cars on the road, I fell in love with it regardless. Just like most things in life, you can’t judge a book by its cover; and in this case it was my little Honda. On the inside it held so many memories, and enough solid engineering to save my life in two accidents.

I didn’t cry after my last accident when I stood on the road alone and avoided calling my parents. I didn’t cry when I watched them tow the totaled car away. I didn’t cry when I thought about being carless or the money it was going to take to get out of this mess. I didn’t cry until I realized I would never see that car again.

I hated to love that car. It was clear from the bumper I didn’t fix after a drunk frat boy ran into it in 2012, or the scratch on the side from hitting it against a parking pole last year. The car had so many bumps and bruises it was such an abused little thing. The car had scars that would likely never be healed, but it was still the strongest thing I had.

Nine and a half years and 110,000 miles with my favorite silver fox.

That car drove me to my first job, my first club, my first lacrosse game and my first college party. It was the key to my freedom as a teenager when I probably didn’t deserve it or know what to do with it. It held all the best CDs of my youth, including the infamous “Depressed Driving CD” because I was clearly an emotional child.

The car kept my secrets for me back when I still needed them. It held memories of teenagers singing with the windows down, road flirting, and sharing so many firsts in back seats as we were starting to be old enough to experience things. That car was a vessel for almost 10 years of my life while I was navigating through teens to adulthood.

Then it took me to college where I drove back and forth from home and impromptu road trips. It drove me to boyfriends and held many heartbreaks. That steering wheel had probably heard me cry more than any friend. The seats are likely stained with tears, and the walls ring of me singing break up songs (terribly) at the top of my lungs.

Five boyfriends all sitting shotgun. Dozens of friends through the years fighting for anything but the middle seat. Miles upon miles that forever will live in me.

The car drove me to Nashville for my first big break in my career. It took me to the airport when I thought I’d be working in NYC, and for all my trips to Europe. It brought me to Miami for the first time. It brought me home when that’s the only place I wanted to be.

So yes, it’s sappy as hell to care about a piece of metal. But I guess it’s more about who I was while I drove that car. Because the girl who commented on the shape so spitefully is absolutely not me. That girl who felt like such a rebel but was still scared shitless of everything is much braver than she once was.

The woman I am learned what distance really means.

It’s dumb, I’m sure, to love a car, but I love the life that it came with. I love the parts of my life I got to drive through, park in, and even the ones I speeded right past. The history of me growing up existed behind that steering wheel.

Granted, it feels amazing to buy a new car all on my own [the 2013 Hyundai Elantra Limited pictured above] – even if Miami insurance is just disgusting. I’m looking forward to falling in love with this new part of my life – the one that my first car drove me to.

I’m looking forward to where I will go, the wrong turns I’m going to make, and the people I’m going to meet along the way. I have the key to it all, literally, with my heart as the GPS.

It’s really not just a new car (or a new loan) it’s a new direction. This is a reminder that I control my life and I have the power to go where I want to. I can use my past as my map and the experiences that I’ve been through.

So I’ll miss that silver fox and all of its bruises because it got me this far. And in the end, life is just one long drive, and I can’t wait to keep falling in love with the ride.

I’ve been to Atlanta -> New York -> Austin -> Washington DC -> Madrid -> Barcelona -> Lisbon -> Atlanta -> Chicago -> Nashville, and it’s not over just yet. Shockingly, HR sent me an email asking me to use my 8+ remaining vacation days before the end of the year. So clearly planning ahead has served me well.

As for my latest adventures, well, they were more than just 300-second Snap Stories and sleepless exploits. They were worth far more than plane tickets, bar tabs, ubers, and accumulated bruises. This is what I learned from them:

Atlanta

We went to Atlanta to celebrate a great friend’s birthday. You probably would’ve thought we were celebrating someone’s 21^st and not their 24^th. Here’s to many more:

1. The only Bloody Mary worth drinking is the one that has breakfast on top.

2. Uber drivers that sing Taylor Swift out loud with you deserve a tip.

3. No one likes brewery tours and everyone will make fun of you for doing it.

4. You’re never too old to roll down a hill with one of your best friends.

5. Short shorts and polos are just not a good fashion choice for men out of college.

6. You can never give out too many Single Strides business cards.

7. Drinks are SO much cheaper in the South than in South Florida.

8. There’s something very wrong with the Dolphin show at the aquarium (and I’m 99.9% sure it’s the guy singing with the light-up cape).

9. Mixing up NW and NE could lead to a 45-minute Uber ride to Decatur, Georgia.

10. There’s nothing worse than a delayed flight… except if you have face paint on.

Chicago

The Florida breeze inspired me to visit the Windy City and I can’t wait until Chicago blows my hosts down to Miami this December. Here’s to more debauchery:

11. It’s crazy how you can be surrounded by high rises but never really see

12. To the above, taking a solo architecture boat tour is the best touristy experience.

13. You can never go to Paris too many times in one weekend.

14. There’s “creepy” but you can buy me a drink, and “creepy” I wouldn’t accept a yacht from you.

15. It’s definitely not weird to eat cookies in the middle of a club.

16. I know the type of people who 100% found themselves on Ashley Madison.

17. The Bean beats black beans, refried beans, and even organic garbanzo beans.

18. “Hey, sexy” is not something anyone should say, and definitely not by text.

19. Chicago knows food, and it’s all so much better than just deep dish pizza.

20. A woman should never pay for cover, champagne, or to beat a bathroom line.

Nashville

When I first went to Nashville in 2012 to intern for CMT I was always looking for a summer boyfriend (never happened). This time, I was totally down for a weekend boyfriend (never happened). What happened instead:

21. There is nothing better than southern fried chicken with chipotle mac and cheese.

22. Pedaling while drinking will make you think you’re invincible… until you stand.

23. Tennessee boys are the very best boys around. Hands down.

24. A little rain never hurt anybody. Either did bike riding through a thunderstorm.

25. Cowboy boots are so much better than killing yourself in stilettos.

26. Gator football tailgates literally trample on tailgates at Vanderbilt.

27. You should never leave McDonalds in the fridge at 2am “for later.” Just no.

28. The bouncer that took your fake ID at 20 won’t remember you at 24.

29. Oh my stars, southern hospitality is a very real thing you should experience.

30. No matter how much has changed… a part of you will always stay the same.

There is constantly more to see, more to learn about myself, and more life to experience. Yeah, maybe I’m always planning ahead and never fully living in the moment… but I am living at hyper speed and this is where it’s gotten me. 

I wouldn’t trade my carry on bags or under-eye bags for anything.