17 Things People Obsessed with the Holidays Understand

Sure, a lot of people say they love the holidays, but to you “love” is an understatement.

1. You mark every holiday, including unofficial national days, on the calendar.

There is always a reason to celebrate – literally, every single day can be a holiday if you want it enough. Especially when more than one holiday falls on the same date, like, National Drink Beer Day, for example.

National Drink Beer Day is on the very same day as National Good Neighbor Day and National Strawberry Cream Pie Day. So there’s a perfectly good reason as to why you’re standing on your neighbor’s porch, ready with a six pack of cold ones and a strawberry cream pie.

2. You have your present game ready by summertime.

You know exactly who’s getting what present, how much it is going to cost, where you’re gonna get it, and what color scheme you’re going with for wrapping paper, by mid-August at the latest.

3. Your favorite Christmas movie is ELF, hands down.

You know every single word of Elf by heart. In fact, you quote the movie on a regular basis starting on September 23rd (the autumnal equinox).

4. You purchase your Halloween outfit MONTHS in advance.

A lot of careful planning goes into choosing your Halloween ensemble. You want it to be the best Halloween outfit yet, so by January you’ve compiled a list of viable costume options and have scoured the internet for the best deal.

5. Your apartment could easily be mistaken for a Bath and Bodyworks store.

Pumpkin spice, vanilla bean, and brown sugar cinnamon scented candles? YES PLEASE.

6. You listen to holiday tunes on the reg.

Every day you are jamming out to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas.”

7. You’re a pumpkin carving champion.

You keep tracing paper, cutouts, and carving utensils conveniently packed in a portable sack, just in case there is a pumpkin somewhere that needs your amazing carving abilities.

8. Your Netflix queue is overflowing with holiday movies.

From Hocus Pocus, to The Craft, to A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, to Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, you have it all.

9. You force everyone to get in the spirit, including your animals.

Your dog has been dressed as a pumpkin since September first.

10. You enjoy buying and wearing ugly sweaters.

Your closet is full of light-up reindeer sweaters, and you freaking love it.

11. You make it a point to incorporate peppermint into every meal.

Candy Canes and peppermint mocha lattes is all your diet entails from the time October begins to the end of January.

12. You call your grandma at least twice a week to make sure of any menu changes.

You enjoy talking to your grandma, really. But, when the holidays come around it’s strictly business.

We’re still having mashed potatoes, right?

Okay. Good. Expect a call same time next week.

13. You have decorative bowls of candy just sitting around.

You channel your grandparents by filling your apartment with several decorative glass bowls full of candy.

14. You have boxes and boxes of decorations.

Each box has a date and time at which you must unpack its contents and DECORATE!

15. You bake more than Betty Crocker.

Sugar cookies are your b*tch.

16. Your social media accounts are covered in snowflakes and all things seasonal.

Your Facebook cover photo fluctuates from pumpkins to snowflakes to candy canes to snowmen to tree ornaments.

17. Your holiday lights are up and running a week before Thanksgiving.

Your electric bill is through the roof, but it’s holiday season, so YOLO.

Header Image Source 

 

9 Things Single People Hate About the Holidays

The holidays were practically designed to cater to all of the lovey-dovey couples of the world. Where’s the love for us singles?

1. When you’re single, family is the pretty much the only option.

We’re talking every holiday dinner including New Year’s… that is four or more occasions in which you will be asked several times over and over again why you haven’t found that special someone yet.

Just a constant reminder that you are absolutely alone in this world.

2. As if that isn’t terrible enough, they try to help you.

Now you not only have to listen about your single AF status, but you have Aunt Gertrude trying to explain why you’re single… “Oh, honey you need to be more social”… and “What about the nice little Jewish boy down the street?”

And it’s so great because who doesn’t love to be reminded of their imperfections, especially the ones you didn’t even know existed.

3. You leave dinner early only to watch holiday movie re-runs alone in the dark.

Holiday movies are a wonderful, stomach-warming thing – if you’re in love that is. Without love, holiday movies are pointless, which is why you are now flipping through the channels mindlessly to find anything else.

4. When you try to escape from sappy holiday movies, all you find are Kay jewelry ads.

Oh isn’t it lovely, all the snow, sparkles, and unicorn magic that left you cold, single, and alone during this glorious season? Who doesn’t love those Kay Jeweler commercials? Next time you hear “Every kiss begins with Kay” you might just punch someone.

5. Receiving cheesy Hallmark postcards from your coupled-up friends.

What’s in the mail? Bills. Bills. Bills. Oh and a stack of beautiful postcards adorned with photos of your closest friends and their boyfriends snuggled up on sleds, kissing in a pumpkin patch, and building a snowman together.

6. You see mistletoe literally everywhere you go.

It’s in the doorway of the coffee shop, the archway of your favorite store, and the doorjamb of the freaking bathroom. When does the madness stop?

What even is mistletoe? And who made it a kissing plant, anyway? Whoever it was obviously wasn’t single.

7. Your only food option for weeks is leftover pumpkin pie.

All of your friends are happily canoodling at all of the best, super hard to get into without a 2 person minimum, restaurants… so going out is obviously not an option.

If you can’t join them, out eat them. After all, the best part of the holidays is the food, right? #LeftoeversForDays

8. You’re forced to come to terms with holiday weight gain.

The holiday depression mixed with too much egg nog and a pound of the sweet ham your grandmother made is pretty much a permanent part of your stomach now. But to you it doesn’t matter because you have no one to look cute for, so more whip cream on top of whip cream it is!!

9. Waking up hungover and alone.

There is nothing worse than waking up completely alone on Christmas day. Who will open presents with you? Oh… wait. What presents? And what about the Christmas brunch that follows the present opening?

Being single has not only ruined two of the best things in the world – brunch and presents, duh – but being single has also destroyed every day in between October and January.

Header Image Source 

9 Promises You Should Be Able to Make to Your BAE

Being in a relationship is tough, but if you can make these promises, then your relationship can get through anything.  

1. “I promise not to binge watch [insert Netflix show here] while you’re at work or elsewhere”

Surprisingly some of the best moments can be found right on the sofa, and you know this, which is why you promise each other not to watch whatever it is that you watch together when the other is away.

Having something you can call “our show” holds some weight – it’s like you’re willing to wait in order to share an experience with one another, and that’s pretty awesome.  

Right now it seems like a meek request, but we’ll see where your heart is when it’s 2 a.m. and “Friends” reruns just aren’t cutting it.  

2. “I promise not to become a complete slob and let myself go because to me you’re still a catch.”

When you’re in a relationship for a while little things like putting on a clean shirt and shaving don’t really matter, but it’s still nice to do these things because you want your SO to know you still care. And that he or she is still worth showering for.

3. “I promise not to resemble a barbaric cave person around your family and my own.”

There’s nothing worse than not getting along with family, whether it’s your family or your partners. It just makes things awkward and uncomfortable and could potentially cause a fight between the two of you on the ride home, which means no Netflix watching, no cuddling, and definitely a 99 percent chance of sleeping alone.

4. “I promise not to act like a child and let your phone calls go to voice mail.”

Being in the middle of an argument is one thing, but avoiding your partner completely is another. You owe it to yourself and to him/her to talk it out. Maybe they’ve already forgot about the fight and want to know if you’d like to go to dinner, or maybe they’re calling just to see how work is going, or MAYBE they are calling to apologize.

All of which you will never know if you let the phone go straight to VM like a pouty spoiled brat child.

5. “I promise not to order take-out every night for the rest of our lives.”

Date night should never get old, ever. Even if you’ve been together for years, date night should still be a priority because a relationship risks a serious death sentence when your nights together become mundane and predictable.

6. “I promise not to roll my eyes at every event you drag me along to – instead, I promise to genuinely participate.”

Sporting events may or may not be your thing just like fashion shows totally aren’t his thing, but when you’re in a relationship it’s important to at least give these things, and whatever else your BAE is into, a chance.

Who knows you might have an awesome time and create unforgettable memories in the process.

7. “I promise not to leave every dish we have in the sink until it smells like a rat died in there – instead I promise to help with chores whenever I can.”

Yes, washing dishes, doing the laundry, and taking the trash out sucks. But, when you’re in a relationship it sucks even more when you have twice as much trash, laundry, and dishes and no one to help clean it up.

8. “I promise not to leave you out of any serious game-changing decisions I make.”

This means consulting one another before accepting a job offer in another state or before any other life changing decision you may make.

9. “I promise not to hold you back for sh*tty selfish reasons.”

This is probably the most important promise you can make to your partner. Allowing him or her to grow as an individual and supporting them in their hopes and dreams is a major way to show your love is real and that you’re in this thing for the long haul.

So, when they tell you they want to move far away to get that degree they’ve always wanted or that they want to travel to New Zealand to find themselves don’t be afraid to tell them how you feel, but don’t dismiss their idea all together.

12 Things You'll Only Understand If You Hate Working Out

Okay, it’s been 15 minutes at the gym. Time to go home and eat.

1. You put more effort into your outfit than your workout.

If working out was as easy as looking totally cute in your neon pink and black Nike outfit with sneakers to match, then you’d be buff AF.

Come at me bro.

2. You give yourself wayyy too much credit for stupid sh*t like eating a piece of celery.

To you eating a little green leaf and taking a walk to the mailbox qualifies as working out.

3. You NEED headphones. Or else you just can’t workout.

Beyoncé is your workout partner and without her you’re nothing. Plus, to give you an excuse to leave the gym, you sometimes purposely forget them.

4. Whenever you walk into a gym it’s like walking straight into Oz.

You literally don’t know where to start or how. And the thought of using a machine the wrong way gives you extreme anxiety, so you just kind of wander around until you find something familiar like the treadmill.

5. You desperately wish that treadmill minutes were exempt from the 60-second rule.

60 seconds is just way too long for one minute. Can’t it be like 10 seconds equals one minute? Because after about five real minutes, you’re super bored from walking on a conveyer belt sans scenery.

6. Any type of movement that resembles running makes you gag. Literally.

*10 minutes of running*

You: “I can’t breathe! Get me an oxygen mask stat.”

7. Sweat of any kind is gross.

It’s wet, sticky, and pools up around your boobs creating awkwardly placed sweat stains on your shirt. What about that is appealing?

8. Your spirit animal is Rebel Wilson. Because horizontal running should totally be a thing.

Horizontal running is basically the best workout invention, ever. Get ’em Fat Amy!

9. You count any movement at all as working out.

Like, getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, and walking to work. To you, you just did cardio, arms, and legs in 20 minutes flat.

10. People who talk about ‘leg day’ get on your last nerve.

Okay, that’s enough. No one NEEDS to talk about working out that much.

11. You reward yourself whenever you do work out.

30 minutes of cardio = one pan of brownies.

12. Lifting a 10 pound weight is seriously the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

You definitely stay far, far away from free weights.

25 Things Only Girls Who Suck at Doing Makeup Will Understand

Makeup is a waste of time and money, unless you actually know what you’re doing, that is. But, we don’t so YOLO.

  1. You know better than to put your makeup on *before* getting dressed.
  2. You feel like the sole purpose of lip liner is to make you look like a clown.
  3. You’ve had lipstick on your teeth more than once.
  4. And of course it was Marilyn Monroe red…
  5. Or some other deep shade of embarrassment.
  6. The cat eye look?
  7. Yeah forget about it because who even has coordination anymore?
  8. Damn that Taylor Swift. How does she do it?
  9. And liquid eyeliner?
  10. HAHAHAHA.
  11. You and Ariel from the Little Mermaid are basically the same person when you walk into Sephora…
  12. Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat?!
  13. Your idea of blending eye shadow means piling one color on top of another.
  14. You’ve only had the perfect smoky eye look in dreams.
  15. Whenever you blink, your mascara skills – or lack thereof…
  16. Laugh in your face.
  17. Foundation is the root to all evil…
  18. Especially when trying to match your face to your neck.
  19. You use your fingers to blend eye shadow…
  20. And then forget about it and touch your face.
  21. #thestruggleisreal
  22. You have no idea how much powder is too much powder…
  23. So you just end up looking like a ghost.
  24. Contour tutorials might as well be in German…
  25. What the f*ck is going on? 

For more of Tabitha, “like” her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter!

7 Things to Know Before Dating a Girl Who’s Not Afraid of What She Wants

Finding a girl who is self-sufficient in everything she does is kind of unusual nowadays, but if you happen to find a powerhouse girl who’s not afraid to tell it like it is, there are a few things you should know before asking her out.  

1. She’s confident, but NOT in a pretentious *sshole kind of way.

If there is one thing that is totally true about the girl who is a go-getter it’s that she is confident, but not in an arrogant I’m right you’re wrong kind of way.

2. She is the queen of decisiveness.

She’s literally Wonder Woman. She can make up her mind on the spot. You’ll never have to fight over where or what you’re eating for dinner again.

Just be ready to go exactly where she suggests.

3. She doesn’t leave you guessing.

She’s just as straightforward about her relationship with you as she is about her favorite Chinese takeout place. So, you’ll never have to worry about reading her mind because she’ll tell you exactly how she feels, when she feels it.

4. And she’s definitely not afraid of a little debate.

If you disagree with a point she’s made or something she’s said, that’s fine. However, she is going to expect a rebuttal.

It’s not that she likes arguing, but she is dead set on making sure you understand where she is coming from, even if that means explaining her side of the argument twelve times.

5. She’s not one to hold back her feelings.

If she can debate for hours on end about whether or not Nutella is a nutritious breakfast option, she’s not going to be afraid to tell you whether she was into the thing you did last night, uhm, or not.

If something seems a little off or if something is making her skin-crawling uncomfortable, she will tell you.  

This also applies to her career life – if she’s not happy at work, don’t be surprised if she’s up and moving to a new company within a few days. Her fast and efficient way of thinking sometimes make her actions unpredictable, but eventually you’ll get used to it.

In fact, you’ll find that her die hard attitude is quite admirable.  

6. She has a career goal in mind, and you’re not going to stand in the way of that, ever.

Ever since she was a young girl she’s been pretending to be the very first woman president, and although that dream has probably expired due to a faint sense of reality, she still has her goals set to the highest level possible.

This means that laughing or snickering in a condescending tone while saying “Yeah, right” when she’s planning her next move out loud will get you nowhere but back to being single.

7. She basically wrote the lyrics to Kelly Clarkson’s “Independent.”

In the end, if she feels like the two of you are not a good match, she will break it off. Not because she is a cold hearted temptress, but because she genuinely cares that you are happy, and if both of you are unhappy, then there’s not really a reason to be together, is there?

For more of Tabitha, “like” her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter!

14 Things Only People With Roommates Know To Be True

Finding the perfect roommate isn’t totally impossible, but finding three perfect roommates? Forget about it.

  1. Your shower is a breeding ground for unidentified creatures. The drain looks like it’s birthing Chewbacca’s child as we speak.
  2. And your drain is a cesspool. You could probably knit a sweater out of all of the hair just rolling around the floor like miniature tumbleweeds.
  3. Replacing the toilet paper is apparently way too complicated for anyone else in your suite to figure out, so without you there wouldn’t be toilet paper, which disturbs you in all sorts of ways.
  4. There are several unknown artifacts just chilling in the fridge.
  5. Like something that slightly resembles the foot of a zombie, but is probably just moldy pizza.
  6. The trash bags that you so politely tied up and put by the door are still there.
  7. Which confirms that conditioning obviously does not work on the primates you live with as it does with Pavlov’s dogs…
  8. Meaning, you once again have to make a run to the trash shoot because living in an apartment that smells faintly of dying vegetables and wet cats is not on your bucket list.
  9. Which reminds you that you, once again, have to recycle the stacks and stacks of glass Frappuccino bottles that one of your roommates so sweetly left on the common room table.  
  10. Right after you sweep up the (now dead) unwanted visitors that scared the sh*t out of you while you were gathering up the previously mentioned garbage bags.
  11. Taking a nap is out of the question because it’s only when you want to sleep that they want to do something that’s inhumanly loud.
  12. Or sometimes it’s just because they’ve had a long day and want to binge watch Netflix with you while they complain.
  13. Keeping food in the kitchen where it is supposed to be is pretty much never ever going to happen because every time you buy your favorite cereal it magically disappears.
  14. But, that’s okay because only your roommate would totally agree that it’s perfectly normal to go out for donuts at two in the morning, which somehow makes every number on this list completely OK.

For more of Tabitha, “like” her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter!

14 Quotes About Friendship As Told By Will Ferrell

If there is one thing that Will Ferrell knows about it’s how to have a great time with your squad.  

1. “Maybe we should call ourselves the Febreze brothers because things are feeling so fresh right now.” – The Other Guys

2. “You’re my boy, Blue!” – Old School

3. “Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?” – Step Brothers

4. “If we went to a Halloween party dressed as Batman and Robin, I’d go as Robin. That’s how much you mean to me.” – Blades of Glory

5. “For just one night let’s not be co-workers. Let’s be co-people.” – Anchorman:

6. “I’m going to climb over that anger wall of yours someday and it’s going to be glorious.” – The Other Guys

7. “How ‘bout we go get kicked out of an Applebee’s?” – Talladega Nights

8. “You’re … you’re crazy, man. I like you, but you’re crazy.” – Old School

9. “Did we just become best friends?!” – Step Brothers

10. “Wow, we really didn’t think that through.” – The Ladies Man

11. “Shake and bake!” – Talladega Nights

12. “I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food.” – The Other Guys

13. “Brought a secret weapon. It’s going to make us look extra cool on TV.” – Semi Pro

14. “What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole wheel of cheese? How’d you do that? Heck, I’m not even mad; that’s amazing.” – Anchorman

For more of Tabitha, like her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter!

7 Things to Know Before Dating a Night Owl

Being a night owl is pretty tough. We receive unfair criticism and have to deal with the unrelenting praise society gives to the early risers.

But, honestly, we’re just as functional as the early birds, so before you start nagging about our “unhealthy” habit, take a minute and be open-minded dating a night owl.  

Sometimes we can be pretty amazing, if you take these thing into account, that is.

1. It’s impossible for us to become morning people. Period.

There’s a reason “not a morning person” is a phrase, and it’s quite simple, really – we have a set sleeping schedule, just like the people who work the graveyard shift.

Now, with that being said, we can wake up at a certain time if need be – but there better be a good reason as to why.

2. And if you wake us up for your morning run, we’ll get moody.

Research shows that night owls have higher stress levels than most people. So, keep this in mind when you think about waking us up to accompany you on a nice morning run. Hint: Don’t.

3. If you really need to work out with us, then you’ll have to switch to evening run. 

We’re not opposed to exercising. Actually, we like the rush a hardcore treadmill/weight-lifting session gives us. But, physiologically we peak in performance during the night hours. (Take that however you like.)

4. Our brains work better during the evening hours.

Though it might look like we’re half asleep during the day, we have our biggest breakthroughs at night. We could basically write half a novel in one session if you let us.

5. Which makes us creative creatures.

If we could write a novel in two days, just think of the other stuff we could do in an evening. Plus, if we finish our work early enough we may make something cute for you to wake up to, like, a homemade cake or muffins!

6. At some point we do sleep.

It may be five in the morning, and the sun may be coming up, but we do sleep. We NEED sleep in order to do all of the amazing stuff that we do at night. And once our seven to eight hours is up, we’re ready to go…

7. And if you make us coffee when we wake up, we’ll love you forever.

Breakfast and coffee, lots and lots of coffee, are our favorite things. We enjoy having a nice French toast brunch with a venti latte at noon. Roast up some beans and we might just be yours.

For more of Tabitha, like her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter!

10 Things Only Flat Broke Twenty-Somethings Will Understand

"Treat Yo Self" is not a phrase, it’s a lifestyle.

1. Your excuse for everything: YOLO

The phrase “life is too short" could not be used more in your little black book of money-spending justifications. After all, you only live once, so these heels technically needed to be bought, like, yesterday.

2. And you tell the same to your friends when you try to get them to waste money

Friends: “Oh, I can’t, I really need to save money."

You: “LAME."

Friends: “Do you really need that?"

You: “BYE FELICA."

3. Shopping sprees = no regrets

Perusing malls is your thing and you don’t feel like you should have to apologize for that. In fact, you're so confident in all of your decisions that the words “regret" and “buyer’s remorse" are NOT in your vocabulary.

4. **By shopping sprees, we mean clearance rack sprees**

You shop the discount rack, which is filled with super cute and reasonably priced pieces. Except, you buy more than you should and end up spending just as much, if not more money than you'd planned on. 

BUT you got MORE for your money, so, whatever, it’s so worth it.

5. We live for the rush we feel when we save on discount food shopping.

Shopping wears you out and the grocery store is so very close. Time to whip up a nice, cheap meal.

6. Except more often than not we end up at that expensive Italian restaurant…

It’s not your fault that you have such expensive taste. Honestly, your friends should be grateful that you’re around to give them style advice. 

I mean, who else is going to know what wines to buy and cheeses to eat?

7. We prefer to live blissfully ignorant about our financial situation while nibbling on our 8 dollar biscotti. 

Finances? What finances?

8. Until we get that pit in your stomach that we know we shouldn't be doing something.

And, it’s like, you know you shouldn’t, so it hurts a little to sign the receipt.

9. Or we have that reoccurring nightmare of our card getting declined.

Each and every time you use your card you have this anxiety about it getting declined. Then your brain wanders off into something that has to do with you living off of Ramen noodles and peanut butter in a small dimly lit shack.

10. So you cautiously check your bank account…

Okay, there’s more than two dollars in there, so you feel fine. Everything is FINE. 

For more of Tabitha, “like" her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter!

Exit mobile version