Author: Taylor Kunkle

Dr. Yang may not be on the show anymore, but that does not mean we can’t miss her blunt truth or her twisted humor.

She always had a way with words and left you aspiring to be as ballsy and truthful as she was.

• You are a gifted surgeon with an extraordinary mind. Don’t let what he wants eclipse what you need. He’s very dreamy, but he’s not the sun. You are.
• Sex with me, however hot and excellent, could cloud your judgment.
• Oh, screw beautiful. I’m brilliant. If you want to appease me, compliment my brain.
• I’m glad he’s getting laid. I should be getting laid. My work suffers when I’m not. It’s bad for humanity.
• I hate men their stupid.
• We have been friends for a long time. Want to know how? By not watching each other poop.
• I think your either born simple or you’re not.
• House hunting with my husband. At least it’s not cancer.
• If there’s no food, I’m going home.
• You’re the one who needs to keep his mouth shut, cabbage patch.
• I am so grateful you’re not trying to knock me up.
• I’m not a spoon. I’m a knife and I’m going to stab you in the eyeball.
• Yes, but I need to warn you that this is my fourth martini and my judgment is severely impaired. Also, I’m a real easy lay right now.
• I’d say wish me luck but I don’t need it.
• How am I supposed to get through the holidays without liquor?
• I don’t have a sourpuss this is just my face.
• Please don’t cry on my ass.
• Have some fire. Be unstoppable. Be a force of nature. Be better than anyone here, and don’t give a damn what anyone thinks.
• I choose potato chips.
• I already hate you, that’s not gonna change.
• Stop caring so much about what he thinks. It makes you seem desperate.
• I need a drink, a man, or a massage. Or a drunken massage by a man.
• I’m supposed to be studying for my boards, the most important exam of my life. And instead, I’m locked in the bathroom crying over a boy.
• Please don’t hate me, I’m begging you.
• I’m so hot! I can do hot in my sleep! I can do hot in scrubs!
• Whatever. Colleagues aren’t friends, they’re competitors.
• I haven’t had sex for like three days and I think it’s giving me super powers. Everything is bright and clear. I am solving problems. No wonder you are so organized, you have virgin super powers.
• Basically, you’re an ass.
• Nobody cares.

I think it’s safe to say we all need a little daily dose of Yang in our life.

We’ve all been there, you’re walking the mall or drinking at the bar after a long day and sure enough, some stranger comes walking up.

Now sometimes this is a comical relief to your day and others, it’s downright cringe worthy. Don’t sweat it love, this happens to us all. 

1. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

2. My name is Chance, do I have one?

3. Do you have an ugly boyfriend? No? Want one?

4. If you were a tree… you'd be a good tree.

5. You from Iraq? Cause I wanna watch you Baghdad ass up

8. Are you my appendix? I don't know what you do or how you work but I feel like I should take you out.

9. If you were a fruit you'd be a FINEAPPLE

10. If you were a flower, you'd be a DAMNdelion

11. Are you French? Cause Madamn.

12. Is your daddy a baker? Cause you got a nice set of buns

13. Hey babe, are you Jamaican? Because Ja'makin me crazy.

14. Hey did you drop something? "I don't think so" Your standards, Hi! I'm Nick

15. Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western Europe,

16. I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You're making the other girls look bad.

19. Damn girl, do you shit with that ass?

20. Can you teach me what that mouth do?

21. You and me are like Little Caesar’s. You’re hot and I’m ready.

22. "I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but I'm batman, and you're Robin my heart

23. Hey is your name Bluetooth cause I'm really feeling a connection here

24. Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven?

25. "Fly's into your DM's like…" *insert picture of a penguin sliding*

26. I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me instead?

27. Excuse me but I think I dropped something. My jaw.

28. You look great and all, but do you know what would really look good on you? Me.

29. Hey, I’m looking for treasure, can I look around your chest?

30. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.

31. Oh you're a natural redhead? Did you know some people call you fire crotch? Well. . . I'd love to put out your fire

32. Him: What do you do for a living? Me: I work at a hospital. Him: I get sick baby

33. if I were a watermelon would you spit or swallow my seed

34. I think you’re sweet. I think you’re neat. As long as I have a face, you’ll always have a seat.

35.Kissing burns 5 calories a minute. Want to workout?

36. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to return it.

37. There’s a big sale in my bedroom. All clothes 100% off.

38. I’m writing a paper on the finer things in life, can I interview you?

39. Do you know CPR, because you’re taking my breath away.

40. I’ve got Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?

41. You’re so hot you must have started global warming.

42. You smell like trash, can I take you out?

43. You’re almost as beautiful as my sister, but you know, that’s illegal so…

44. Hey, are you free tonight or will it cost me?

45. I’m not the best looking but I’m the only one talking to you.

46. Damn, you look good in beer googles.

47. Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got “FINE” written all over you.

48. Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?

49. Did you have Lucky Charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious.

50. Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

And guys, or girls, please think before you speak!

If you have a baby, you have the choice to breastfeed or not to breastfeed. That is simply your choice to make and only your choice. Breastfeeding in public though, is a different story per everybody else.

Everybody in the world believes they have a say so in the way you raise your baby and what you can and can’t do with your baby.

I have no baby, I am no mother but here is my opinion anyways.

What is my opinion? Do whatever the f**k you want to do.

The only thing I ask if you are going to breastfeed in public is to take note of your surroundings before pulling that bad baby out, there might be some young eyes or some inappropriate eyes watching.

I’m all for women doing what they want especially when raising a child. I have seen a ton of articles where mothers feel breastfeeding in public but using a blanket to cover the baby is unfair. I’ve also seen articles where some mothers simply favor the blanket covers.

As mothers, I can only assume you know what makes your baby happy and most comfortable. If you use the cover, all the power to ya and if you don’t, all the power to ya.

I sure as hell don’t want to eat under a blanket or heavy cover, especially on a hot day during summer. That cannot be comfortable at all.

I am no mother but I am a woman, and as a woman I must say we judge and tear down each other all the time. That’s got to stop, like yesterday.

Breastfeeding is a completely normal thing to do, breasts are completely normal things to have. 

Stop making it okay for Kate Upton and Kylie Jenner to show off their perky little friends, just to get mad at a mother for having the audacity to nourish her child on a bench in the corner of the mall.

All our breasts are just that, breasts, some are fatter, some are perkier, some are rounder but no matter what, they’re all just breasts. No woman should have to worry if her breasts can be considered “sexy” enough to show in public.

I can only hope that one day I will have a baby, who will be breastfed if I am lucky enough to be able to do so. Knowing that the public will be judging me makes me weary for when that day comes but I can only hope our human race gets a bit nicer as we go.

So, you, mother of that crying newborn, feed him dammit. Don’t worry about that lady with the disgusted look or the man pointing at you in confusion. Nourish your baby in the best way you know how and be proud of the fact that you can provide such a wonderful thing to your child.

And to you, the disgusted woman or confused man, leave that poor new mom alone, she’s doing the best she can. She isn’t trying to seduce you or insult you in anyway. She is simply trying to hush her baby so you don’t have to listen to him cry from starving.

A baby needs food way more than you need a “pleasant” view for all of 2 minutes.

Stay current with Taylor’s articles here 

Saying your friend is “pussy-whipped” for wanting to spend time with his partner is complete and utter bullshit. 

And if insulting him and his quality of friendship isn’t enough, you turn to the woman and make her out to be some evil queen.

I am not controlling and he is not whipped. We are simply two adults in a relationship trying to grow up and improve our lives.

Yes, that means sometimes he skips “guy night” and yes, sometimes that means spending more time home with me than going out with you. 

He is not choosing me over friends to hurt you. Nor is it being done because I’m forcing that decision upon him.

When a man chooses to be with his girlfriend/fiancé/wife over hanging out with friends, why is it looked down on by the guys?

You all say you want a relationship like ours yet when he does loving things like promise time with me and our families, you make him feel as though he isn’t a good enough friend?

Since when is it wrong for a man to desire to spend more time with his partner, planning a better future for them, rather than drinking and getting wasted every weekend?

Stop trying to put blame on him or me, stop getting mad that you “never” see him and decide to grow up with us.

There’s no reason why he can’t do both, he can go and hang out with you, but he can also stay home and spend time with me.

It is his decision, his choice and neither you or I should make him feel bad about doing one or the other.

Since he is your friend, shouldn’t you want him to be happy? Don’t you care about him enough to accept that his happiness isn’t only derived from hanging out with you?

As his friends, you should want him to be in a happy relationship and have the freedom to spend time with you as well as spend time with his other half.

Alright, enough beating around the bush. What I’m trying to say here is, fuck you.

You’re low maintenance, so what? Stop letting people turn that into a negative and stop letting people compare you to others who may have nicer material items or adventures. Being low maintenance can be the best thing about you, be proud of it.

Show it off because it benefits you in so many ways, don’t believe me? Here’s four important reasons.

• Saves Time

Hello, first one is kind of obvious. You can get up in the morning and be out of the door in t-minus ten minutes. Sorry but sleep is way more important than making sure my face is “highlighted” in every way possible. Ain’t nobody got time for that shit.

• You’re Satisfied Easier

You don’t need big flashy gifts or a weekend spent on a yacht to be happy. Get together with a few friends or maybe just a night in with a bottle of wine and you’re happy as a fat kid eating cake. “Bae” doesn’t need to buy you a Mercedes for Christmas and your parents don’t need to buy you the newest technology every time an upgrade comes around.

• Money saved

On top of saving money for people giving you gifts, being low maintenance works in favor of your wallet too. Who the f**k thought it should be normal to spend $60 on eyeshadow and $50 on one lipstick? I mean come on guys! Being low maintenance means you’re satisfied with your $20 sale boots instead of those new $1,700.00 pair of Jimmy Choo boots.

• Simpler dates

You don’t need to be taken to the nicest restaurant in town where the bill is 75% bigger than the portion of food you were given. You don’t need to be sitting front row at the concert with back stage passes. I mean, yeah, that crap is nice and all, but you’re just fine at a local hole in the wall shop with that cute little patio facing the lake or nose bleed seats next to your love.

No, you are not cheap by any means, you just know how to appreciate the smaller things. You understand that sometimes taking things step by step and seeing the beauty in the sunrise is better than focusing solely on what society calls “high end”.

At the end of the day, a low maintenance friend or significant other is what people go for. You are a breath of relief to the person who just dealt with a massive headache in their last relationship. You, my low maintenance dear, are like coming up for air when somebody was drowning in a sea of materialistic idiots.

There seems to be this never-ending argument of chivalry: Is it dead and gone for good, do we need to bring it back, are we happier as women that it has died off? 

Regardless of what the accurate answer is to any of that mumbo-jumbo here’s 5 chivalrous acts you should instill upon your son.

1. Open the door for people, not just your partner

Don’t limit this to his future significant other, obviously women have arms, we can open our own doors, but instill this in your son’s head for anybody. 

It’s just a courteous, thoughtful thing to do as a human, to open the door for people of all ages, sizes, genders, etc.

2. Walk your butt to the door

No, I am not only referring to when he drops off his date at the end of the night, I am referring to any time he must go somewhere. 

Personally, nothing annoys me more than when somebody drives up on the side of the road, not even bothering to get in the drive way, and blares their horn.

3. Be protective, but not possessive 

Again, do not use this only for their future s.o. 

People can defend themselves, there’s no denying that, but if he sees somebody being picked on, being attacked, etc. he should know to help anyway possible.

4. Don’t be afraid to give/receive compliments

Genuine, sincere, non-creepy compliments are annoyingly rare these days. 

Teach your son how to give nice compliments without expecting anything in return, along with that, teach him it’s okay to accept compliments. 

Boys shouldn’t think it’s “stupid”, “gay”, or anything else negative when somebody tries to give them a compliment such as “Wow, you have nice eyes.”

5. Always be respectful and accepting

This can cover so many bases for you, whether it’s language, helping with chores, watching attitude, etc. 

As human beings, we should be respectful of where we are and who we are with. There is a correct time and place for everything.

If I’m being honest, these things should be taught to any child, no matter their gender. These are basic chivalrous acts that any decent person should know and keep alive. 

Women are just as liable for these acts as men are, nobody is above being a decent human.

So maybe, just maybe chivalry is dying but we can actively work to bring it back.

To check out some of Taylor’s other articles click here or stay up to date with Taylor’s articles by following her fb page Taylor Says

So your boss went off on you today or maybe mother nature didn’t get the memo that you were wearing white pants. 

Everybody has a bad day sometimes, if that’s the case for you here are 10 stories from fmylife.com that surely will make you forget your crush saw you without makeup.

“Today, while out with my family, I happened to run into “the one who got away.” She smilingly introduced herself to my wife, who definitely noticed that she and our daughter share the same name. FML??

“Today, I was showing the Instagram of my crush to my cousin. He double-tapped the picture, thinking it would zoom it in. It was posted 5 months ago. FML??

“Today, my friend invited me, his girlfriend, and the girl I like over to his house to hang out. We hoped it would get me closer to my crush. The day ended with them having a threesome and me locked out. FML??

“Today, I landed myself a date with a cute guy. Once I got to the location, after driving 20 minutes, he texted me and canceled. Happy New Year. FML??

“Today, while on a flight, another passenger pulled their carry-on out of the overhead. They forgot about the filled, metal water bottle clipped to the outside until it nailed me on top of my head. FML??

“Today, I realized that the girl I like only replies to my snapchats if I include my dog in the picture. FML??

“Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I  collected the sample. FML??

“Today, I slid into a seat in a very busy food court that was jam packed full of seniors at the mall. It was the only seat available, so I was quick to jump into it. It was soaked with urine. FML??

“Today, as I was taking the driver’s test to get my license, I backed into a car. It belonged to the instructor sitting in my passenger seat. FML??

“Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend at  Wal-Mart. This would have been fine had he not broken up with me because he was “moving to Canada.” FML??

We all go through tough times and we all have bad days, you, your friends, your enemies, hell even I’m not immune from them.

I got a puppy for my fiancé a few months ago, along the one hour ride home she ended up having a bad case of diarrhea in my car…twice to be exact…

At the end of the day, you aren’t the only one having a bad day, tomorrow will be a fresh start and if tomorrow blows then just keep waiting for the next day. 

Try to find the humor in whatever your scenario is and laugh a little, life is too short to take so seriously sometimes.

To read more of Taylor’s articles click here or stay up to date with her FB page Taylor Says

You were different. You weren’t like the other guys that I’d talk to trying to make myself feel better. You taught me so much about myself and made me question my life in ways I never had before. You were the man who showed me there were indeed other fish in the sea.

Growing up we’re always told “There’s plenty of people out there.”, “Mr. Right is out there.”, “There’s going to be another one.” But as innocent, hormonal teenagers, who believes their parents when they say that? Especially when it’s dealing with your first break up.

I’ll let you in on a secret…shockingly enough, parents do know what they’re talking about. Maybe you’ll realize this after your first heartbreak, maybe it’ll be your third or fourth like it was for me, who knows honestly. When that guy, or girl, comes into your life, wow, trust me, it will change your entire thought process.

Even though for you and me nothing more than a friendship was our end result, you will always be that guy. The one who showed me how to have confidence and faith in myself, who taught me I had options and I deserved every one of them. You showed me there is more than one nice guy out there and not all guys are the same.

Among everything you taught me, you taught me to expect the best and accept nothing less. I learned what a gentleman would do and was reminded what it felt like to be cared about, to have somebody be interested in what I had to say, and what fun felt like.

Timing was never our friend though; these things weren’t realized until it was a little too late for “us”. I won’t deny the fact that sometimes I had wondered what could’ve happened, what would’ve happened had things been said, done, thought of maybe a month or so earlier.

“Things happen for a reason” is a saying you hated the most, though it’s the only saying I can think of to accurately describe our situation. Things happen for a reason, I need to believe that you happened to remind me of all these wonderful things about love. Love for myself, love for another person, how to show love, how to accept love, and so much more.

Even though we have gone our own ways, I have taken what you taught me and the confidence that you restored in me every step along my way to my future. I will never know if this appreciation is reciprocated, I can only hope that in some way I gave you something as well.

You might not be my “one” but you’ll be a great “one” for the right person out there. Thank you for walking into my life that day and showing me what good can come from a total stranger.

To read more of Taylor’s articles visit her blog page 

Cheating. Cheating is a touchy subject and it seems there is never a good answer or response to this. 

So, should you stay or should you get the hell out of Dodge? 

Well I can’t answer that for you and honestly, nobody except you can answer that but maybe this can help the decision making.

First, ask yourself why did it happen? Is the relationship dead between you and your significant other or just going through a rough time? 

Are you still there simply because of the apologies and empty promises of things being better?

When trying to decide, think about a few things: do you have a sense of desire for them that is fully returned and goes beyond a purely lusting type of desire?  

Are you still there because of some weird view of pride or selfishness?

We’ve all been there, you wonder if the break up is worth the pitiful looks you’ll get from people, the countless, annoying speeches you’ll have to sit through. 

Nobody wants to suffer through that but it’s not a strong enough reason to hold together your relationship.

Is it a self-esteem thing you have going? Are you with the person because you feel you can’t do better? 

Maybe you feel scared, as though you can do better and they’re holding you back. Are you too afraid to be alone and single?

Hm, I wonder what people will say about that single yet happy, glowing person next to them compared to the taken yet miserable crying person across the hall. 

Doesn’t make sense to keep that as your reasoning now does it?

The person you’re with, do they give you butterflies or do they give you the whole damn flu? Do they make you feel anything special at all? 

You deserve that feeling you got back in kindergarten when you got to be line leader or captain of the team in gym class. Special, important, needed. 

Don’t let anybody or any amount of time with somebody take that from you.

You should hear “symphonies?? in your head, as Jason Derulo has described to us before when you see this person. 

If there are not symphonies, what is there? Be with somebody you look forward to seeing, that you want to spend time with, truly deeply feel the need to be with them or talk to them. 

Not somebody to waste your time with or feel obligated to be with.

If you stay in the relationship can you promise yourself that cheating will never happen again? 

It’s easy to say it won’t but there’s a difference between saying something and meaning it or saying something to convince yourself. 

Do you really want to be with this person? I mean, if cheating can happen, something went wrong somewhere down the line.  

Maybe you don’t have a decision yet after all this could be your one-month relationship or your ten-year relationship we’re talking about. 

It’s a big decision, but it was also a decision that was made when the “innocent flirting?? happened and when the “it’ll never go that far?? was thrown out the window.

So, who are you anyways? Are you the one who was cheated on or are you the cheater? 

Who was in your head while reading this? 

It’s easy to think cheating is one sided, but it isn’t. You both are affected and now you both get to decide if you’re best together or if there’s somebody else better out there.

Decide. Is it worth staying or…do you get the hell out of dodge finally?

Let’s be real, January is the month of making resolutions and goals and the month of giving up or “adjusting?? those resolutions or goals. So, let’s make a game of it…keep an eye on your friends, family, coworkers, etc.

Keep a list/tally between you and your friends to keep each other honest, get together on January 31^st with your drink of choice and go through this list.

One drink/shot for every one of the following:

• Somebody said “New year, new me!??
• Somebody said “This is going to be my year.??
• Somebody declared the gym/working out/eating healthy to be their resolution.
• Somebody made it to January 31^st without breaking their resolution.

Two drinks/shots for every one of the following:

• Somebody broke their resolution within two/three weeks of the new year.
• Somebody “adjusted?? or “changed?? their resolution twice or more by January 15^th.
• Somebody complained about not having a “New Year’s Kiss??.

Three drinks/shots for every one of the following:

• Somebody broke their resolution within one/two weeks of the new year.
• Somebody got engaged, married, or announced a pregnancy on new year’s.

Maybe your friends are magical creatures and won’t do a single one of these things…maybe you’re that “somebody?? that’s doing these things. In either case, we all know it’s about time to start drinking.

Now, think of a few things to add to this list that fit more for your group for next year. Something like “Take one shot for every time Stephanie tried texting Aaron after January 1^st.?? or “Take two shots for every time Eric skipped the gym in January.?? You know, anything fun and personal to empty that Tequila or wine bottle.

Have fun and be safe, remember nobody really keeps their New Year’s resolutions anyways.