You’re so full of self-doubt and you criticize yourself too harshly. When you get in a slump your doubts and self-loathing reach a point where you feel utterly helpless.

Your friends can try to cheer you up, but you’ve convinced yourself that you’re a burden to them, so you try not to bother them with your inner struggles. 

When they do notice your sadness, you brush off their compliments, chalking their kindness up to friendly obligation.

It’s incredibly isolating when you’re at war with yourself, and you can’t figure out how to let anyone else in. 

All you want to do is learn how to love yourself until the thoughts in your head are kind affirmations and compliments, and you want to be able to believe them. 

Learning to love yourself is a long journey, but ultimately the relationship with yourself is the longest and most special one you’ll ever have. 

So the work is worth it. You are worth it. 

You have a thousand little quirks that make you special. If a stranger saw you sitting alone at a coffee shop, reading your favorite book, sipping on your favorite iced coffee. 

They won’t think you’re annoying, they won’t think you’re stupid, they won’t know you doubt yourself every day. 

A guy might see a cute girl who adorably raises her eyebrows while reading shocking portions of her book. He may think about her all night. 

When you walk down the street pensively thinking, someone will probably see a girl with ambition, a life to plan, a mind that often drifts away to dreams and future plans. 

They don’t know your stress and insecurities. They see only you.

When you lose your keys and let out an audible: “shit” someone will probably giggle relating to your frustration because in that moment they see themselves in you. 

Strangers see a person with wants, needs, hopes and fears. They think of you as no less than them. 

You are not out of place among them. Some may notice you, some may like you, some may be taken by your smile. 

Some may want to know more about you. 

You probably leave more impressions on people than you think. 

You don’t have to let your internal struggle define you. 

People will see you as a whole human being capable and worthy of love, intelligent and unique, strong and independent, even if you don’t see it yourself. 

The best medicine for getting out of your head is jumping into someone else’s. 

Someone who knows nothing, but your kind smile and the hint of sadness in your eyes.

Someone will prove your specialness to you, but until then picture yourself through their eyes–– the person who will love all the things you hate about yourself. Or picture yourself through the eyes of someone who knows nothing about you. 

Give yourself a fresh start.

Xombie, a punk, metal meets rap band has released their first single off their upcoming album titled Super Cell.  First things first, Xombie is a killer band name. 

I'm all for combining genres and creating a unique sound. However, I approached the song with caution. I wanted to like this song before I even listened to it. I decided this was a sound I wanted to get behind. Almost as if the guy I had been seeing (and really liked) told me this band was his passionate side project.

So, upon first listen to the track, Might as Well, these are my thoughts: 

– Cool guitar intro

– This is not what I was expecting in a good way. 

– Can definitely picture myself scream singing these lyrics at a live a concert. 

– Love the contrasting genres.

Basically, I was pleasantly surprised that this sound works, but I guess I shouldn't have been. Music is evolving and changing all the time, and so does taste. If something sounds fun and you can dance to it, there's no need to question if it's too different, because sometimes that's the best thing about it. 

Might as Well is perfect for headbanging, treadmill running, and anytime you just want to feel a little cooler. 

It's a sure-fire crowd favorite and your new hype song.

Give the track Might as Well a listen on Xombie's Soundcloud page: https://soundcloud.com/xombienyc/might-as-well

If you love it, then eagerly await the June 2017 arrival of Super Cell. I may have inside info that Super Cell is slamming too!

It's a big gesture to block someone. 

Sometimes this grand gesture can mean serve as an act of anger, or as a way of expressing lingering hurt feelings, or it can just be a healthy decision made by someone who just really wants to move the hell on. 

In my case, it's all of the above.

I'm angry with you. For not being what you used to be and for changing us without my permission. As if this relationship was always a contract, and you could release me from my obligations at any moment's notice. 

I'm sad because losing anyone in your life, in any way shape or form, is truly a loss. There's an emptiness, that doesn't go away. There's a sensation in your heart, and even your head, that makes you feel like you need this person to feel whole again. 

It's healthy for me to quit you cold turkey. Maybe it feels spiteful to you because you only see the harshness of the ignored calls and texts and not the healing that's happening on my end. 

I don't know if this is the immature way to handle a breakup. I don't know if people will think I'm weak because instead of simply ignoring you, I had to block you from my phone. Well, the truth is: I don't trust myself. 

The emptiness creates a false reality around me, one that tells me you are the only thing that keeps me moving. Sometimes I stare into my coffee thinking about us and everything that happened, and all of the sudden 30 mins have passed. I'm consumed by your memory.

This is consuming me. 

I don't know much about moving on from you, but I do know moving on has to happen without you. I secretly hope you still wonder what I'm doing, and check up Instagram to see what I'm up to. 

And the truth is, I want to feel a real love. 

I thought it was you, but I keep telling myself if it was, it wouldn't have ended. You wouldn't have even let our last conversation end in the way it did. You would be using your friend's phones to try to reach me, you would be reaching out through social media, you'd deliver flowers to work, do whatever it takes to keep me around– but you did nothing, and that said everything.

I don't want to be the girl who stares sadly into her coffee cup anymore, I want to be the girl who stops in the middle of the sidewalk, closes her eyes, and smiles at the city lights above her — taking in the magic of a beautiful night, while accidentally annoying every person who's walking behind her. 

And that's what I'm doing.

I guess we weren't magic after all. I guess you weren't my ending, but that means I'm at my beginning.

So, I'm starting my story over.

Once upon a time, a girl blocked the one who hurt her, and that has made all the difference. 

 “I’m going to be single forever,” is something everyone hears me say all the time. 

I don’t say it because I want your pity or because I’ve actually accepted defeat. I haven’t prepared myself for a loveless life filled with cats and Golden Girls reruns. I say it because…

I know, deep down, I’m single by choice, whether I want to believe it or not. 

It’s true, and I happily sing my single song all the time– metaphorically speaking that is. Like when I buy one bottle of wine and don’t worry that it’s not enough for two people, and when I buy the kind I like because I don’t have to worry about someone else’s preference. Pinot Grigio for life!

Or when the guy who is talking to me at the bar, seems nice, but I’m trying to find things wrong with him. The idea of seeing him outside of a bar setting, possibly dating him, and possibly seeing him sitting on my sofa taking up space whenI keep hinting he should go home, is an AWFUL scenario.

I like the freedom of being single. I don’t succumb to the notion that my twenties are about finding a husband. 

My twenties are about finding myself, and sometimes that means looking in the wrong places, like the bottom of a shot glass or a stranger’s mouth, but hey I’m growing. My twenties are also about being on my own, learning to do things alone, providing for myself and being able to spend time with myself. 

I want kids, I want a grandiose wedding. I want a tall guy with great hair who laughs at my jokes just like all my romance-obsessed friends, but I’m not in a hurry. I just don’t want it right now. 

I want a little bit of chaos. 

I want late nights filled with 2 a.m. pizza, laughing so hard I can’t breathe, and dancing like everyone’s watching, because if everyone’s watching it means you’re doing a great job. 

I don’t want relationship stability. I want single stability. Once I feel like my life is working on my own, and my fun nights could be ever more fun with a partner, then I will start looking. Then, I will stop giving fake phone numbers to guys who are not creepy or at least have jobs. 

My biggest concern is what I’m going to do with my life, and my smallest concern is what I’m going to wear Saturday night. That’s how I like it.

If you feel like you can’t find any men who fit into your life, it’s possible you’re not ready for them yet. So, do what you need to do, kiss who you need to kiss, and fall in love with strangers every single day. Your life should feel exciting, and you should always have things to look forward to, and one day that will be a relationship. 

For now, you have the freedom to do whatever the hell you want. Don’t take it for granted. 

Belle Vex is an indie pop artist, but his new single titled "Make it Good For Her" is taking me back to my middle school days. That may have you asking, "why? Is this single the song equivalent of being  awkward and dressing horribly?" The answer is no.

This song brings me back to middle school because when I was in middle school, and early high school, I was in love with pop-punk and every lead singer of every band in the genre. I don't know if pop punk grew up or I did, but I haven't heard a bouncy rock song with pop vocals since the bands I idolized in middle school.

This song makes me nostalgic for this bright, catchy sound, a sound I didn't even realize I had been missing. 

"Make it Good for Her" is catchy as hell. The vibe is reminiscent of a middle school sound, but the subject matter is clearly for adults. 

It is bubbly and sexy without being rough. This pure pop punk sound (with a touch of electronic) is definitely worth checking out and bobbing your head to while you're snuggling in blankets at a beach bonfire. Maybe even dancing to. The kind of song that will easily attach itself to a pleasant memory. 

You can check out the music video for "Make it Good for Her" on Youtube right here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcekOhJTGOw&feature=youtu.be

I did, and it's already stuck in my head and I found my striped skinny jeans in my closet. I have traveled back in time, and I don't hate it!

So, in theory, you want a nice guy. You know that a nice guy will make life easier and won’t bring drama into your daily life. You know he’ll be a gentleman and treat you the way you should be treated. Nice guy equals nice life, right?

But the thing is, when they come along you just can’t make it work. After just a few weeks (if that) can’t stop avoiding them. You’re rolling their eyes as you ignore their texts. All their sweet gestures make you gag and as messed up as it is, you just wish he’d have his moments where he’s a dick. 

You know it’s messed up, but it’s just who you are. Maybe you’re too stone cold and cool for him, maybe you just can’t accept kindness because you’re afraid to trust that it’s for real. Either way, you constantly find yourself doing these things:

1. If he seems genuinely interested in you, you question his motives in every way possible.

Why does he care so much? What’s his deal? Is he writing an article on me? Is he planning to murder me? What’s wrong with him?

2. He offers you his coat or offers to pay for your coffee, and you can’t help but say no so abruptly it’s almost rude. 

NO! I hate coffee, I love being cold. Leave me alone. I feel suffocated.

3. When a guy texts you too often you assume he has absolutely no life.

Because God forbid anyone is actually super into you. 

4. You like when guys make fun of you, but you probably don’t admit it.

He told me my outfit was weird, and then he smiled at me. It’s love. 

5. You start to wonder if you actually do like games.

You hate anything and anyone that comes easy…where’s the challenge?

6. You want a nice guy but can’t find one that hasn’t annoyed you with their kindness.

Your worst nightmare is going back and forth with him “No you decide where to eat!” “No, you!” 

7. You love romantic comedies where the leads don’t even like each other at first. 

At first, they literally cannot stand to be around each other, then all of a sudden they’re in love. It makes absolutely no sense, but somehow you’re like “THAT IS THE CUTEST THING EVER.”

8. You don’t want a complacent guy because you don’t want to feel like the dominant one all the time.

Relationships should be equal, but if someone lets you decide everything it gets old. There needs to be a balance.

9. You tended to have crushes on the bullies in TV shows.

“Like omg did you see him put that kid in the locker, he is so strong!” Swoon.

10. You cringe when guys use emojis.

Sending you that heart emoji? Not cute. Never will be.

11. You’re told you have horrible taste in men.

…all the time.

12. You are embarrassed by PDA and grand gestures. 

You literally get second-hand embarrassment when a guy does something cute for a girl in public. SO awkward.

13.  You have too many deal breakers.

Texting you good morning the day after a day isn’t what most people consider a deal breaker…but for you? It’s one of your biggest.

14. You understood Selena’s love for Justin. He’s a bad boy, but he’s also slightly good. 

He’s a unicorn.

15. You don’t find nervousness endearing. 

Nervous joking on a date is like nails on a chalkboard.

16. If he performs any acts of chivalry you feel oppressed.

“I can open my own doors!” 

17. You consider most romantic gestures cheesy.

Flowers are just gonna die and make a mess in the process. You can buy your own jewelry and candy too. Oh, and you know how to cook dinner for yourself. What is this, a sitcom? A mushy romance novel?

18. If a guy is polite and sweet, you find another flaw to focus on.

He’s nice and all but his eyes are a little far apart, ya know?

19. You’re probably single right now.

….

20. You probably have thought of a couple guys you’ve turned down while reading this.

Even you have to admit, you can be a little brutal sometimes.

21. You’re thinking “Man, I gotta get my shit together.”

Best thing to do is realize you are worthy of kindness, and just because a guy is sweet doesn’t mean he’s a pushover or nerdy or desperate or weird, or any of the other weird things we put on them to avoid the sting of their affection. 

Easier said than done, but you’ll never know how great someone might be for you unless you give them a REAL shot.

Calling yourself a hot mess is outdated. It reminds me of spilling scalding coffee all my down my white t-shirt. Get it? Because the coffee is hot….hahaha….okay I'll stop. 

The term seems to be heavily overused and misused. I've heard some of the most put together people I know utter "I'm a hot mess" for the most ridiculous of reasons– like they put their hair in a sleek pony instead of curling it, or they forgot to put perfume on. 

So, if those girls who seemingly have all their eggs in a basket and all their shit together, want to call themselves hot messes, then maybe those of us who fit the original definition need a new term. 

So here it is: I'm a beautiful disaster.

And if you can relate to any of these things….you probably are too…

1. I'm always late, but not because I spend ample time getting ready to look beautiful, but because I am constantly getting eyelash glue in my eye and convincing myself I'm going to go blind. 

2. I rush so much getting ready that sometimes I forget deodorant and rub hand sanitizer on my armpits. 

3. I recognize the people who work the fast food drive-thrus by my house….

4. …And when I actually cook for once, I get lazy and consider giving up and heating up frozen Indian food from the store.

5. If I trip and fall, I don't laugh it off and gracefully get back up. I stay on the floor closing my eyes, trying to pretend it didn't happen, which only prolongs the embarrassment.

6. My purse is a receipt graveyard. They live there so long until the letters wear off and you can hardly even tell what the Taco Bell order says. 

7. I have by strangers been told thatI'm too loud when I'm drunk. Maybe that's because…

8. …I take fireball shots, whenever offered. 

9. I think if I turned down a margarita, people would be genuinely concerned I was depressed.

10. I once made out with someone just because he was singing along to the same song as me at a bar.

11. I have never told anyone "I don't think I should go out tonight, I have to wake up early." 

12. Sometimes I drive with the windows down, hoping my tangled hair will look windblown and beautiful if it's messed up just a little bit more. It never is. 

13. My personal motto is there's no such thing as too much glitter.

14. The snacks in my house are things you would put in a third grader's lunchbox: gummies, fruit roll ups, Lunchables.

15. It's a toss up between which is messier— my car or my room.

16. I'm constantly covered in dog and cat hair. 

17. My eyeliner smears so much that by the end of the day I look like Pete Wentz in 2007. 

18. I sleep in club outfits because I'm normally too tired to change. I do a walk of shame from my own bedroom to the kitchen.

19. No one has described me as easy going. 

20. My internet search history is the most shameful secret. 

21. I wear baggy sweaters because they are chic and in style, but also because I feel like I can eat lots of food in them.

22. What is a relationship? I don't have those. 

23. My biggest goal is to be alive in ten years. 

I am a beautiful diaster. Are you? Tag a friend to offend them or make them laugh.