Author: Tiara Brown

After all of the long nights of anticipation and hours spent mentally preparing for the Big O, only to find out she’s got a secret. Her deep, dark secret has collapsed all of your daydreams and overall perceptions of her. And now, you wonder if you should even pursue this even further. She is not the person that you thought that she was; however, she is in fact… A VIRGIN! Aaahhhh, the horror…  

Okay, stop. Rewind. Take a deep breath and let’s think about this for a moment. Is being a virgin really that bad? And furthermore, why is the concept of dating a virgin so scary? 

Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand how intimacy plays an important role in relationships. But why is lack of sex such a deal breaker? 

As a virgin, myself, (I know, scandalous), ask myself these questions all the time. The moment my "secret" comes out everyone always gets weird around me. Suddenly, my identity is transformed and I’m met with bewilderment and curiosity. 

I hear questions like, "Are you waiting ‘til marriage?" "Is your boyfriend okay with that?" or "Is it for religious reasons?" allllll the time.  

And my answer is almost always: maybe. Maybe I am, or maybe I’m not. But does it really matter? My body, my choice, right? But if so, why is this such a strange concept for people to grasp?

And when it comes to dating a virgin (gasp) people think, “Virgins are too clingy and needy and I don’t want to deal with it…” or “But, why is she a virgin? Don’t you think that it’s kind of odd that she still is?”

Or the most popular, “Because I want to have sex and I know that she won’t give it me.” 

Hey, if you can’t handle dating a virgin, you have every right to go find yourself a loose girl.  No one is saying that you don’t. 

But I’m just wondering, why is not having sex so odd? Why are we so quick to assume that she is going to automatically cling to you, overbearingly? Or, why do we act like virgins are some mystical unicorn that only comes out once in a blue moon? 

And if you can’t answer the ‘why’, then honestly maybe it’s time to re-evaluate. 

Stop making it a bigger deal than it actually is. Stop making girls feel bad for not “putting out.” And stop concerning yourself with someone else’s business if you have absolutely nothing to do with it. 

So she hasn’t had sex before…who cares? You shouldn’t.  

Virgins are just like everyone else. We still think about sex and have sexual urges. However, for whatever the reason may be, it’s our choice not to have sex and not yours. 

So stop being weird or acting like it is some huge phenomenon. No one is judging you for having sex, so please stop judging us if we are not having sex. In the end, we’re all just people and frankly, there are far more important things to worry about than someone’s virginity, so calm down and chill out. 

Because being a virgin or dating a virgin really isn’t so scary, after all. 

Hey guys, thanks for reading! For more of Tiara's articles, check her out on Facebook!

When I was sixteen years old, I had my whole future figured out. I would go to college, become either a successful journalist, be married by twenty-five years old, and then start having kids by the I'm thirty. Yeah…news flash; I did graduate college; however, I did not become a journalist. I'm twenty-six years old, I'm hashtag single, and I highly doubt that I will be having kids in the near future.

And as depressing as I'm making my life sound right now, I'm finally realizing that it's okay. 

It's okay to not have everything figured out.

It's okay to not be in a relationship.

It's okay to be going on my own timeline.

And most importantly, it's also okay to hurt. 

We've all been there. We watch the all of the relationship statuses of your friends' Facebook walls slowly turn to engaged or married. You see all the pictures of the many milestones that everyone around is accomplishing from buy that big house to getting promoted to maybe even just figuring out what they want to do with their lives'.

And there is us. The ones that feel left behind. The ones trying so hard to catch up, but somehow it always seems out of reach. And it's never that you're not happy for friends. You always are. However, you can't help, but think, 'Why can't this happen to me too?'

But it's okay.

This is a storm that hovers over us. A storm that can reek havoc on our self esteem and self worth. However, must always remember that we are all on our own timelines. Timelines that we have no idea where they may lead. So yes, it still hurts. And yes, maybe you don't have the job that you want right now or maybe the relationship status that you crave. And that's okay.

Life is a giant roller coaster ride that gives us a choice. Get off and give up, never knowing. Or stay on through the good and through the bad and see where it leads. In the end, it may not be perfect, but as long as we keep working, keep dreaming, and keep putting ourselves out there, something good will come.

I promise.

And while it is okay to be hurt, please know that a day will come in which the storm will pass. A day in which you realize that you're stronger than you think, braver than you know, and more determined than you had ever imagined.

So be patient.

You got this!

p.s. I believe in you!

Hey Guys, thanks for reading! For more of Tiara's articles, check her out on Facebook!

I think we can all agree that 2016 was a rough year. The Presidential Election, deaths, the loss of jobs, and of course our fight for equality. But we survived. And we will keep surviving and we will keep fighting.

So, take a deep breath. It’s a new year, a new beginning, and above all, a new YOU. However, if you still find yourself feeling down, never forget…

• “You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
  – Winnie the Pooh
• “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”
   – Bambi
• “Ladies do not start fights, but they can finish them.”
   – The AristoCats

• “…never look back, Darling. It distracts from the now.”  
   – The Incredibles

• “Our fate lives within us. You only have to be brave enough to see it.”
   – Brave
• “The only predictable thing about life is its unpredictability.”
   – Ratatouille
• “Adventure is out there.”
   – Up
  
  
• “Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one.”
   – Pocahontas
• “The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of them all.”
   – Mulan
• “You’re never too old to be young.”
  – Snow white
• “You don’t really need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely.”
   – Tangled
• “Listen to me, the human world…it’s a mess.”
   – Little Mermaid
• “Oh, yes the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.”
   – Lion King
• “Even miracles take a little time.”
   – Cinderella
• “Let it go.”
   – Frozen

It’s 2017! Now, go get ’em, Tiger! 😉

Hey Guys, thanks for reading! For more of Tiara’s articles, check her out on Facebook!

Every morning you put on your amor and pick up your sword to face the dragon. You ride up to it on your horse, thinking that today will be day that you conquer it. However, it is only met with you cowering at the sound of its voice, panic attacks as you sense its presence and anticipate the mistakes that you will make while enduring its wrath, and then the constant reassurance that maybe this is not as bad as it seems. 

But then one day, you wake up and ask yourself, “How did I get here?”

Although many of us do not wear armor or carry swords to work; sometimes we still endure the wrath of another beast…a.k.a. The Supervisor. 

Muahahaha…Okay, rewind…

I’m not saying that all supervisors are dragons, but how many of us have or have had a boss that for some reason just doesn’t like us? Ones that just treat us differently and will jump at any chance to humiliate us in front of all of our coworkers and customers. Ones that just seem to have it out for us. And no matter how hard we try to please, it is never good enough.

So, really how did we get here?

Simple, we fell into the trap that so many of us fall into nowadays; so eager to start working in such a starving economy that you let the little things slide. You ration them away saying that it is okay. You were the one that made the mistake and your boss is only doing his or her job. You try harder only to be sucked in by the twisted game of reward and punishment. 

Yes, you get a good job every once in awhile, but the moment something goes wrong whether your fault or not you are reprimanded and belittled. And yet, as bad as it feels you know that you can’t quit. In today’s job market who knows when you’ll be able to find work again.

However, under no circumstances do you deserve this. Under no circumstances does anyone deserve this. Trust me, I’ve been there. Falling into this trap is a lot easier than most people realize. And unfortunately, many of us can confess to that.

But, first things first.

Step 1: Take a deep breath and know that this is not your fault. Abusers in any situation love the victim blame game. Don’t fall for it. You are a person and deserve to be treated with respect. I don’t care who your boss is.

And yes, you may make mistakes on your job, but guess what, we all do. If your supervisor can not speak to you in a respectful non abusive way, then he or she is just a bad supervisor.

Step 2: Collect, save, and make copies of every abusive, email, text, instant message, etc that you have and send them to HR, but make sure that you save a copy for yourself.

These claims will make your case stronger and protect you from any legal ramifications.

Step 3: If nothing changes and the work environment becomes more toxic than you can handle, then it is okay to quit. Yes, jobs are not always easy to come by, but your health is always more important. 

And sometimes, it truly isn’t worth it.

Life is notorious at giving all of us curve balls. And, sometimes it’s cases in which we have to leave our jobs and maybe take a job that we don’t like for a while that pays us even less and that’s okay. The right job will come, it may just take a little longer than we expected. 

I know it sucks, but be patient.

Put on that battle armor, keep your head of high, and keep aim your sword straightaway. 

Life may not be easy, but look at this way. Every knight has a few battle scars, but it’s always the knights that can get back up after he or she has been knocked down that will eventually slay the dragon.

Hey guys, thanks for reading! For more of Tiara’s articles, check her out on Facebook.

While others greatly anticipated it, there were those of us that dreaded it. Those of us that knew the truth. 

You are alone. You fearfully watch your bank account as it slowly dwindles as you pay for your cramped, yet over priced studio apartment. The piles and piles of student loan debt swarm around you and what’s worst, is that your customer service job that you got after college to feed yourself doesn’t even make a dent.

Welcome to the Horrors of Adulthood…

Okay. Rewind, maybe it’s not that bad (especially if you like your job). But seriously, when did this happen? When did we all suddenly become responsible for paying our internet and putting gas in our cars? And when we don’t have any food in the fridge, it’s clearly our fault?

If you’re anything like me, sometimes you legitimately forget that you’re legal, but then reality hits you with a few awkward moments and it makes you realize, “Oh crap I’m actually an adult”

Like…

1. Every time the bills are due.

   If the power suddenly cuts off in your apartment, it’s not Mom and Dad’s fault. It’s yours!
   
   

2. You’re innate ability to pull all-nighters or stay out all night have magically vanished.
3. And furthermore, you need twice the amount of recovery time for hang overs than you did in college.
4. When you talk about your favorite childhood movie, and someone brings up that it came out more than 20 years ago.

   “Yeah, you realize ‘The Lion King’ came out like 22 years ago right?”

5. Every time you hear teens speak, it sounds like a foreign language.
6.  Or even worse, you accidentally bump into them and they call you Ma’am or Sir.
7. All of the weddings and baby showers are slowly, but surely creeping into your social calendar.
8. You start to forget your age because nothing that significant happens after your 21st birthday.
9. Ikea was once a chore; however, now it is your favorite playground!
10. And last, but not least. You are secretly grateful for all of the times that your parents put up with your crap and for all the sacrifices that they have done for you.

And maybe, just maybe they were right about a few things along the way, too! 🙂

Hey guys, thanks for reading! For more of Tiara’s articles, check her out on Facebook!

The fountain of youth. While many strive for it, there are those of us that run from it. Yes, youth is a blessing, but you have to admit that there are a few moments and situations that can make looking younger than your age a little awkward.

Just a bit, like…

• Every time you walk into a bar or restaurant, you are constantly getting carded multiple times in the same establishment and then, every once in awhile the bartender assumes that you're I.D. is fake when in actuality it's real…Yes, this has happened to me.
• Once you put on a hoodie you are instantly mistaken for either a high school or a college student.
• When someone knocks on the door and you answer it, the first words out of his or her mouth are, "Hi, is your mom home?"…Um..this is my house so…
  
  
• People automatically assume that you're naive.
• But then, when you do tell them your age, they don't believe you.
• The clothes targeted at your age demographic don't fit and look like you may or may not be playing dress up.
• And finally, because you do look so young it's hard for you to decipher the age of others around you, especially if you're being hit on…I think he's my…Oh crap, he's in college…Yep, gotta go! *awkwardly, runs away*

However, even with all of the little annoyances and comments of others, you are comforted with the fact that when you're in your 30s, you will look like you are in your 20s. Ah Boo – Ya!

Now, I would call that a win!

Hey Guys, thanks for reading! For more of Tiara's articles, check her out on Facebook!

It is no secret that over the last few years young African American boys and men have been slain due to police brutality. The police hide behind countless excuses of claiming that these young men were holding weapons with the assistance of the media spinning their stories, turning them into thugs.  

And while the families and communities of these innocent victims’ rally to get justice; protesting in the #BlackLivesMatter movement, I hear and see so many posts on social media that carry the phrase #AllLivesMatter.

Here’s the thing, whether or not you want to believe it when you are Black or of African descent in America, you are born with a separate set rules. We are always punished harsher and given unfair treatment in not only the justice system, but also in our daily lives. 

The Black Lives Matter movement started because our children, brothers, fathers, and neighbors are being slain by the very people that have sworn to protect. The people that are suppose to keep us safe. Instead, they treat us like criminals because of the color of our skin and then receive no punishment and no accountability.

When you say, "All Lives Matter" you are not acknowledging the problem. You are pushing it under the rug.

Of course, all lives matter, but are you the one being pulled over by the police only to be shot in your own car while reaching for your license and registration?

Are you the mother of a 12 year old boy who was playing in the park, only to be gunned down in two seconds?

Or are you a child, who lost his father and doesn't know or understand why?

Do you have any idea how any of this feels or to see it in your community, time and time again?

#BlackLivesMatter is a movement that is literally saying, “Stop killing us” and there are people saying “But…” We are the ones that are being murdered in the streets with a justice system that doesn’t seem to care.

I'm not saying that other races have not experienced police brutality; however, look at the statistics. We are the group that face it the most.

It is 2016 and this needs to stop.

The truth is, when are a person of color you have a different reality. Maybe you don't see it because you've never experienced it or maybe you don't want to see it. I don't know.

But I have to ask, "How many more of us have to die, before something is done?"

#BlackLivesMatter

For more of Tiara's articles, follow her on Facebook.

Us, Midwestern girls are a special breed. We grew up living the best of both worlds. We learned how to be a lady in the streets, but could still kick your a** at sports and video games. If you grew up in the Midwest like I did, then here are few a things that we all can relate to…

• Not only do you know how to cook and clean, but we know how to use power tools.
• Not to mention that you can also check our own oil. Sorry boys, I got this!
  
  
• However, when out with that special ‘someone’ you still expect him to open the door for you and pay for the first date.
• It is pronounced “pop”, not “soda” and of course, no meal is complete without ranch dressing!
• You live for bonfires and swimming in the lake in summer.
• And then, chill in hot tubs in the snow during the winter. Yes, this is a thing.
• The Michigan vs Ohio State rivalry is real!
• You know that you can survive the zombie apocalypse. All of those years of camping, climbing trees, and paintball have finally paid off.
• Some of your best memories are of you and friends, riding your bikes, going to State Fairs, and sneaking onto each others’ roofs to either watch the sunrise or the sunset.
• As you got older, you dreamt of leaving our town and going off to some big well known city; however, when that time finally came, you realized that there is truly no place like home.

Some might call us unique, but I call us the Best!

Hey Guys, thanks for reading! For more of Tiara’s articles, check her out on Facebook!

It’s a tale as old as time. You graduate from high school, get your college degree, and then land your dream job. All while living happily ever after with your Prince Charming. 

Piece of cake, right?

Well, what happens your perfect fairytale ending has yet to come true? 

When you’re in your mid twenties, working a minimum wage job that barely pays your bills, and of course single…Yeah, welcome to my … I mean, life after college.

When I was younger, I had it all planned out. I would graduate from college by age 22, have a job in which I could support myself by age 25 (I know, very wishful thinking), and then be married by age 28.

Boy, was I wrong!

Like many in my generation, I’m broke, confused, and just wonder if I made the right decisions. We look back and analyze the steps that we took. We did everything that we were suppose to do. Go to college to get an education, get an internship, and maybe even make a few connections. So, what happened?

What happened for so many of us feel as if we are stuck in this rut?

The answer, life.

You don’t need me to tell you that the economy that we live in now is not the same as the economy that our parents lived in. Once upon a time, a Bachelor’s degree could get you a good job right off the gate. But now with so few jobs, many of us are struggling and you are surely not alone.

This may not be our ideal situation or how we pictured ourselves when we were younger. However, we are still young and as cliché as it sounds, we still have our whole lives ahead of us.

We continue to chase the dreams that we were taught to believe in and strive for the goals that we know that we achieve. Through every trial and tribulation, we continue to learn that we smarter and stronger than we ever realized. And at times when it seems that life is staring us in the eyes and trying desperately to keep us down, we pick up our swords and tell it, ‘not today.’

We are the knights of our own fairytales as we continue to fight for the life and careers that we’ve always dreamt of. It may just take a little longer than many of us would have expected, but that’s alright.

The day will come when we will be glad that we all kept fighting. That we stuck it out, stayed passionate, and slew the dragon.

In the long run, we will all be better for it.

So just remember, you got this!

P.S. If you’re still worried about finding Prince Charming, have patience. The last thing you want is to live happily ever after with the wrong guy!

Hey Guys, thanks for reading! For more of Tiara’s articles, check her out on Facebook!