Author: Tom Proctor

Tom likes to think he’s an interloping intrepid fella with a sharp wit and brimming with Britishisms. Originating from the rainy shores of Blighty he has made his way around the world, living in a host of countries across 4 different continents. Tom has written for a number of established outlets including satirical Argentinian news site “The Bubble” and “Playground BA”. Now living in the city of Brooklyn and writing for Puckermob, you can expect a lot of tongue in cheek, pinch of salt articles designed to tickle you in just the right way. Always game for a blather and a chinwag, if you’d like to know more please get in touch by emailing tom.proctor46@googlemail.com Twitter handle: @TomProctor11 Facebook URL:

That's a Sticky Wicket: You've No Idea What These 31 British Words and Phrases Mean

By way of force and brutal colonisation we Brits have exported our language to a fair few countries around the world, whether they wanted it or not. As we’ve had so many extra years to perfect and add to our lexicon, we have some of the best words and phrases you are likely to ever hear.

To help you non-Brits out, I have compiled a short list of fantastically British expressions and terms the rest of the world needs to begin using:

Wanker – A general dick head, best said loudly and proudly
Wank – To masterbate
Daft – Stupid or silly
Kecks – Underwear, usually of the male variety
Half-inched – Cockney rhyming slang for stolen. Half inched, pinched.
Fag – Cigarette, NOT a gay man
Pissed – Drunk
Taking the piss – Making fun of someone in a playful way
Pissing it down – Its raining. Hard.
Knackered – Really fucking tired, no really, it literally means; ‘to be tired from fucking’
Chav – A lady or gent of lower income who is generally hostile to others
Kerfuffle – A fight, albeit a hilariously downplayed word for a fight
Greasy spoon – A cheap diner where you can generally purchase breakfast or lunch
Bollocks – Terrible, a right mess
The Dogs Bollocks – Fantastic, creme de la creme, the best of the best
A bollocking – To be reprimanded or told off in a severe manner
Gutted – To be devastated, absolutely wrecked
Cheeky – To push your luck and get away with it, someone who takes the piss
A sticky wicket – a problem ranging from mild to catastrophic. The less dramatic you say it the bigger the problem is.
Scouser – The scum of the earth (or someone from Liverpool)
Mate – Buddy, pal, friend, acquaintance, stranger, enemy, bloke sitting next to you at the bar, person who is mugging you, basically everyone and everything
Bloke – A guy, generally a manly man
Bugger all – Nothing, ziltch, nada
Cheers – Can be used to signal a toast, a way of saying thanks, or even signing off a message
Chunder – When one has had too many alcoholic beverages and therefore has to empty the contents of one’s stomach into a porcelain throne
Dodgy – Something that is not on the level, a little bit illegal or just not quite right
Slap and tickle – To do the dirty, the beast with two backs, gland to gland combat. Fucking!
Rubbish – Literally it means garbage, but its also a soft swear word to use in place of ‘shit’ when your round your mum’s house for Sunday lunch
Sunday lunch – The one British dish that we’re proud of. A roast dinner that is consumed en masse by the British population every Sunday
Brass monkeys – F-ing freezing, shortened from the phrase ‘it’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey’
Brew – A cup of tea, and only a cup of tea, woe betide you if you use this phrase for coffee

11 Middle School Fads That 90's Kids All Secretly Miss

Do you miss the days when your love letters smelled of watermelon and you were the coolest kid in school because you had a shiny Charizard?

Kids today don’t know what they’re missing out on; it’s time to put down the iPhones and pick up your Yoyos, delete your Facebook and log into your MSN messenger, lets bring back the fads that made the 90’s awesome!

1. Gel pens, smell erasers and glitter pens

The pens and erasers of the 90’s and 00’s was the pinnacle of stationary evolution. Smelly easers, sparkly gel pens, ink that smelled of strawberries! Before the days of smart phones and tablets we still had to write stuff down and by God we made it look fabulous. Today’s pens and pencils have reverted back to their sensible (boring) past, it’s high time to get back to our sparkly-glittery roots and start making notes that make Elton John cringe at their flamboyance.

2. AIM/MSN Messenger

Today we have Facebook, Skype, Instagram, Whatsapp, Snapchat and about a bazillion other ways we can contact each other, back in the day there was just two; MSN and AIM. Simple. Effective. Timeless. You could have (fantastically bitchy) group chats, you had (hilarious and witty) away messages and you will always remember the twinge in your heart when; “ [insert crush’s name] is online” popped up in the corner of your screen. It shaped the way we communicate, introduced us to emojis and started getting us to talk in acronyms, and I for one would love to see it BRB.

3. Beanie babies

Not only were they cute and collectable, they were also meant to make us RICH! Now they spend their time in boxes hidden in the corner of our parent’s basements, waiting for that magical day when they become a rare commodity once again. Lets get the Beanie Baby hype-train back out the station and start making fat stacks on our pre-teen investment.

4. Yoyos

First a fad from the 1920s, then a fad in the 1990s, and now I’m hoping for a comeback of the least athletic sport in the world for these 2010s. Yoyos were the bomb, you were a somebody in the schoolyard if you could nail an “around the world” followed by a “cat’s cradle” finishing it off in style by “walking the dog”. Keep one in your pocket and it’s the perfect game to play on the fly, so get off candy crush and start practicing loop the loops on the morning commute.

5. Tamagotchis

My Tamagotchi trained me for adulthood far more than any parent ever could (sorry mum). We had to feed them, take them for walks, and look after them when they were sick. It taught us responsibility, love and finally loss, when we inevitably went on vacation for 3 weeks and forgot to feed them causing their slow, painful, computer generated death. They may have just been a bunch of 1s and 0s but deep down we knew they loved us as well. These little balls of life and love could still be useful, giving us a crash course in taking care of something before we go out and buy a cat or get pregnant. So maybe look on eBay for a Tamagotchi before considering a visit to the pet store.

6. Saturday morning cartoons

Not so much a fad but a right of passage. Waking up at 6am, pouring out a bowl of diabete-o’s and settling in for 6 hours of technicolored awesomeness. Kids today just don’t get it, with on demand everything this sacred weekend tradition has died out but its high time it makes a comeback.

7. Slap Bands

Who’d have thought sheet metal covered in fabric would become so popular. These things doubled up as self-defense weapons and could be used as an emergency ruler in a pinch. I predict a return of the stationery-based fashion item soon.

8. Pogs

Office life would be far more fun if we spent lunchtime going over our fat stack of pogs, trading slammers and competing for keeps.

9. Finger Boards

There is something about pretending your fingers are legs and turning your desk into a mini skate park that makes me incredibly happy.

10. Heelies

I know these wonder of shoe-based technology come in adult sizes but the social stigma of a 20-something year old cruising down the street on these sneaker-rollerblade hybrids is real. If we all collectively decide to bring them back for adults we can make them fashionable, who’s with me?

11. Myspace

Mark Zuckerburg will let me follow him, but he’ll never be my friend. Tom from Myspace wasn’t quite so picky, and he let you customize your page with your favorite tunes. The best reason for the return of Myspace though; your family isn’t on it.

27 Signs You Might Be a Hipster

You’re a cool, alternative person that follows their own rules. There’s no way of pigeonholing you into a trend or movement.

But even so, check this list to find out if you’re actually a hipster…

All your clothes are from thrift stores, or “borrowed??? from friends and family members.
You’ve got nothing against Starbucks, you’d just rather drink a cup of warm phlegm over their coffee.
You have at least one “artist??? friend.
You have at least one “musician??? friend.
You have at least one friend that plays dodgeball on the weekend.
You can rattle the names of at least 5 different strains of weed.
…and 3 weed delivery services.
You still have a flip phone…as well as your iPhone.
You work in social media, media relations, or you’re an SEO…ahem.
You keep sending your friends music that NO-ONE has heard yet
…and they’re getting sick of having to listen to your lesbian Tibetan electo-folk sung by blind transgender monks.
You’ve started using slang from the 50’s, you dig daddio?
You’re facial hair takes longer to style than your regular hair.
You use mustache wax.
You’re pissed at the gentrification of Brooklyn so now you’re off to Harlem to do the same thing.
You can’t stand these lists but you still can’t resist their allure.
You use words like “allure???.
You long for your city to turn into Berlin.
You and your partner have the same hair style.
You’ve gone travelling and therefore you know more about “The Global Culture??? than anybody else.
You can say “The Global Culture??? without visibly cringing.
You prioritize drugs, bike accessories and drinking over food, electricity and basic hygiene.
You have uttered the phrase “Beer is the new wine???.
You keep telling people your going to start brewing your own IPA
…but you never fucking will
You own several books that look old, damaged and intellectual that you have never read.
You’ve spent the last 2 minutes nodding at this list…sorry.

7 Things You Need to Know Before Dating a Brit

It’s no secret that the common British man is the most charming, polite and distinguished person you could ever hope to date (of course I’m not being biased!). If his accent doesn’t make your knees wobble, then his dental hygiene might.

But before you get your heart set on having a rough and tumble in the sheets with a Brit, there’s a few things you might want to know.

1. You’re not going to understand our slang.

A “fag” is a cigarette, not a derogatory term for a homosexual; when we’re “pissed” we aren’t angry – we’re drunk; and if we call you a “muppet” we aren’t comparing you to Kermit, we just think you’re a fucking idiot.

British slang is the best because it is so diverse and it is pronounced so well. We could be complimenting you or calling your mother a whore and you wouldn’t ever be able to tell the difference, and thats why….

2. We have the best swear words.

If something is “bollocks” its awful, but if it’s “the dog’s bollocks” its good. Following so far? We can use the “C” word with reckless abandon, we pronounce “twat” properly (tw-aht not tw-oht), and if you’re called a “cheeky little bastard” don’t get angry – we’re admiring your skills as a charmer and general ragamuffin.

The delivery and the context makes us the best swearers in the world, with a lexicon that can fill entire dictionaries, and I’m not even kidding. To make things even more confusing…

3. We’re polite to people we hate and insult the people we like.

Don’t get angry if we start affectionately calling you a “knobhead,” that means we consider you a friend. However, if we’re still overly polite to you after knowing you for a while that probably means we can’t stand you. British culture ensures that we have to be polite to everyone we meet; if we like you’ll we’ll relax and start insulting you as an indication of our friendship, if we forever remain formal then alarm bells should start ringing.

4. We have an irrational hatred of anyone born 30 miles from our house.

England is a small place. Within an hour drive from my front door I can get to Liverpool, Manchester, Sheffield, Birmingham and get a fair way to Leeds. Each of these cities has a distinct culture and accent to go along with a bristling rivalry with anyone from their neighbouring town. Most of this stems from football (proper football – not your kind of football) and the anger and resentment runs deep. So if you get confused and mix up Manchester with Liverpool I’m going to be offended, and heaven forbid you ask if I come from London.

5. Accents!

Fortunately we don’t all speak like Hugh Grant. As mentioned above, England is a small place and the accents on that tiny isle are many and varied. This means when you first meet us (and for the next 6 months) it’s going to be difficult deciphering what we’re trying to communicate. Throw in some regional dialects and confusing swear words and it’s probably best you just smile and nod 90% of the time. It’s ok though because we’ll sound charming, but in reality we’re probably just talking about the weather. Which brings me onto my next point…

6. Our small talk is bizarre.

I was serious about talking about the weather. Despite having possibly the most mundane weather patterns in the entire world, it seems to be a subject we have to talk about. Constantly. The entire country goes into shutdown if we get 4 inches of snow (rare) and if it happens to be sunny for more than 3 consecutive days (even rarer) we will ban people from watering their lawn. It’s like we manufacture reasons to talk about the weather because we know deep down it’s not exciting and in fact very depressing, but still, we can’t help rabbiting on about it.

7. We’re grumpy, cynical, sarcastic and self deprecating…but honestly this is what makes us happy!

A Brit is most happy when he has something to complain about, be it his local football team, politics, the National Health Service, or that bloody weather again. The more miserable we sound about something the happier we are. So don’t get down if we seem to be on a downward spiral of despair, we’re as happy as pig in shit.

The dos and don'ts of NAILING an interview!

You’ve filled in a million applications, you’ve replied to a thousand craigslist ads, and you’ve had hundreds of unanswered emails; but you’ve finally hooked a potential employer and your interview is coming up.

Don’t be nervous, just follow these simple tips and soon you’ll be reaping the benefits of employee covered health insurance and all the free pens you can handle.

Do – Show up on time. There is nothing worse than turning up late, it sets a terrible tone for the interview and it will give the impression that you’re unreliable. Get to the location 30 minutes early, grab a coffee and go over your notes, then 10 minutes before “go-time” stroll into the office. You’ll be prepared, unrushed and most importantly, suave as hell.

Don’t – Bad mouth your previous employer. It doesn’t matter if your last employer had you down the acid mines 23 hours a day and paid you in bottle caps, you don’t talk smack. Put a positive spin on it, say your boss was “encouraged by hard work” and “goal orientated”; chances are the interviewer will be able to see right through this thinly veiled corporate mumbo-jumbo but they’ll appreciate that you don’t bite the hand that feeds you.

Do – Research, research, research…oh and some more research. The more you know about the position and the company the more engaging this conversation is going to be. The more engaging the conversation is, the more likely you’ll land the job. The interviewer will be able to tell you have put time and effort into studying and that shows you are hardworking and willing to go the extra mile. Employees love that shizzle.

Don’t – Be a Debbie Downer. If you start complaining about something mid-interview it’s going to create some negative vibes, and negativity tends to feed off itself creating a conversational downward spiral. By the end of the interview you’ll both be in tears and considering entering into a suicide pact together; while this may be good for comradeship, it won’t land you the job.

Do – Come with questions. An interview can be a pretty one-sided affair, change that up and stick the interviewer on the spot every now and then. Ask about the office culture, what other employees have done to succeed in your position and what the interviewer enjoys about working at the company. Not only will you seem confident and inquisitive you will also get valuable information on the company you’re about to work for.

Don’t – Have an “interview persona”. You’re more than likely going to spend a significant part of your life in work, so it’s important for your employer to know the real you. Don’t go overboard; you don’t have to tell them about the rager you had on the weekend or your love/obsession for “My Little Pony”, but make sure they get a good sense of your personality. After all, you don’t want to be keeping up this this fake character 6 months after you’ve started.

Surviving the Ex-Pat Life!

So you’ve decided to take the plunge. You’ve released yourself from the shackles of every day life, you’ve rejected the comforts of familiarity and you’re ready to dive in head first into your defining adventure. Life for you will now continue half way around the world, in a different timezone, a different culture…Christ, it may as well be a different planet to the one you left behind.

While this is all very exciting, it comes with some trials and tribulations. You’re favorite local dive bar will have to change; who on earth will cut your hair the way you like it? and where the bloody hell can you get a decent cup of tea in this God damned city!? If you’re looking for how to thrive in your new country of choice look no further – this is the survival guide to ex-pat life!

Get lost!

So you’ve touched down, you’ve got your accommodation sorted and most of your clothes are now tidied away – its time to explore! Grab your phone, your ID and your wallet, you don’t need anything else for this first venture into your brave new world.

Pick a direction and start walking. Don’t worry about looking at a map, have no qualms about getting lost, that’s the point of your first trip outside. The idea is to explore your new hood, figure out where the cool-looking bars are, what’s in the strange smelling bodegas, and what bad ass street art is going on. Don’t have a set idea what your destination will be – just wander and enjoy the scenery, so long as you have some money for a cab back to your current abode you’ll be all good, and who knows what you’ll discover on the way.

Embrace the culture

There’s nothing wrong with craving some home comforts every now and then. Personally, every time I leave the UK I stuff as many tea bags and as much Spotted Dick into whatever crevices are still available in my baggage. Familiarity is great, but go out and plunge yourself into the local culture and you’ll feel all the better for it.

Keeping your defenses up and refusing to embrace this new civilization will only leave you feeling isolated and even more homesick. Get out there and eat the food, dance and dances and drink the local liquor, yes it all sounds and tastes weird at first but after a while you’ll be one of the locals and loving it!

Check out the local events

So they have a festival where they strap fireworks to their bodies and run through the streets?! Or they have a day dedicated to racing a wheel of cheese down a hill? Or they parade giant cartoon figures through the city once a year to the sound of trumpets and drums?! There is a reason why these crazy cultures keep with these traditions, ‘cos they’re a God damned blast! They typically involve buckets of booze, a lack of forethought and little to no restraint, which usually equals one of the best nights you will ever have. So take off your shirt, get in those streets and start throwing tomatoes at each other like the locals do!

Don’t panic

The most important piece of advice on this list. There will be times when it all gets to be too much; no one can understand your accent, you’re exhausted, confused and lost in a strange land and all you want to do is go home to your mum so she can tell you “it’ll be ok”. Don’t worry this is normal and the worst thing you can do in this situation is panic.

Take a deep breath, step back and evaluate the situation. If you get your knickers in a twist it will just exacerbate problems. Keep calm, get back to your house and treat yourself to some home comforts while you have a chat to your bezzie on Skype. Suddenly you’ll see that it’s not all that bad that after all.

The most important part of traveling and being part of a new community is having fun. Gaining life perspective, expanding your horizons and finding yourself is important as well, but if you aren’t enjoying it change something up until you do. Keep exploring and who knows what stories you will be bringing back with you.

4 Red Flags You Keep Ignoring

We’ve all been there ladies and gents. They have everything: a great body, a fantastic apartment, their cat clearly prefers you to them…but before you know it you’re reduced to screaming matches outside your favorite bar and they’re burning a pile of your clothes on their front lawn.

Now you have to change your number again, and warn all your friends to stop talking to them.

So what keeps going wrong?! Take a gander at these early warning signs and you’ll never have to escape a date by climbing out of the bathroom window again.

1. They keep telling white lies.

Does your partner claim to have been in the Navy SEALs but he gets out of breath walking up the stairs? Do they keep hinting that they’re totally getting an invite to Nikki Minaj’s next big shindig, but you know for a fact they aren’t even invited to their niece’s 5th birthday party?

These little white lies (and giant stinkin’ black ones) are all indications your partner might not be on the level. Studies have indicated that compulsive lying is usually the symptom of a much larger personality disorder, and your partner will keep doing it well past the point that they’ve been trapped in their own web of deceit. This will lead to awkward conversations with your friends as you try to explain to them why they can’t meet your new fling as he’s “fishing” with “Bruno Mars” this weekend.

Take my advice on this one, get out ASAP!

2. They’re more than a bit paranoid.

Are they constantly peeking over your shoulder to check who you’re texting? Do they ring you 25 times a day to find out your exact location? Have you recently found a GPS device stuck to the underside of your car?

These are all signs that you’re dating a crazy. The reason why these guys (and girls) are so paranoid all the time is probably because they have something to hide themselves. Either they are too insecure to be in an adult relationship or more likely they have a few skeletons in their closets and their projecting their shame onto you. That’s right guys and gals, they’re usually the ones doing the cheating! Call them out on their BS and watch this house of cards crumble.

3. All their ex’s are crazy.

Ok so we’ve all had crazy ex’s, and every now and then its hilarious to bring out the story about how you caught your last squeeze trying to sell your dog on Craigslist because they were jealous of the attention Fido was getting. But when every one of their ex’s were crazy, alarm bells should start ringing.

Chances are if every single person your current intrigue has previously dated is an axe-wielding bunny boiler, the problem is probably with them and not their harem of ex-lovers, and if you stick with them long enough you’re going to end up as one of those “crazy” ex’s as well.

4. They cheated on their ex with you.

Now we aren’t all angels…not too many of us can claim we have a blemish-free record when it comes to dating and occasionally certain partners may have overlapped slightly. But if this is your current concubine’s MO then you have a red flag on your hands. There are some people out there that bounce from relationship to relationship, as soon as one cools off they’re out on prowl for the next despite the fact the first one isn’t “officially” over. Look out for these greedy needy relationship skippers, they’ll break your heart!

Keep an eye out for these red flags and you’ll be able to spot the psycho’s from a mile away, leaving you with the peace of mind that your car won’t be key’d this month.

4 Things That Happens in Vegas That Will Blow Your Mind

Fed up of blowing all your money at the tables? Let us take you though the best day you can have in Vegas without hitting the casinos.

1. The morning…

Vegas is known for excesses and as a result you probably aren’t feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed the day after the night before. It’s 80 degrees in the shade, theres pool parties a-waiting, and your hook-up from last night wants to meet you for mimosas but the thought of leaving your darkened air conditioned room is giving you the hangover shakes. Never fear help is on the way in the form of Hangover Heaven. They provide a number of hangover care packages to get rid of your unsociable affliction and get you back into the thick of it. Their strongest cure is called the Rapture Package ($239) and includes huffing oxygen for 30 minutes while getting 2 liters of IV fluid being shot into your arm, all of which they promise will get you back on your feet and ready to start the messy process all over again. Drop an extra 60 bucks and they’ll even come and deliver this life saving elixir to your hotel room. Now you have no excuse for getting back on it.

2. Midday activities…

Want to go all Jason Bourne without the hassle becoming a secret agent or filling out a bunch of firearm license forms? Then “The Gun Store” Las Vegas is the place for you. A shop that goes a little beyond regular shooting ranges, The Gun Store offers packages catering to ladies ($79.95), history buffs (149.95) , and zombie apocalypse aficionados ($174.95), or you can just go and pick 6 hand cannons that take your fancy ($359.95). With a choice that would make the founding fathers proud you can go in and shoot anything from an Uzi to a Sniper rifle allowing you to take your frustrations out on a paper target rather than your colleagues.

3. Dinner…

Un-do your belts because you’re going to need the room. The Heart Attack Grill is aptly named as you’re unlikely to leave this place without having some serious heart palpitations. For a start if you haven’t shed your Christmas weight yet you could end up eating for free, if you weigh a paltry 350lbs the tab is on them but you will have to get weighed before you eat. Their menu would drive any nutritionist to tears with such highlights as the Deep Fried Twinkie Shake ($6.48) the Half Pound Coronary Dog ($8.83) and an Octuple Bypass Burger ($21.28) that comes with 40 slices of bacon! You can wash it all down with a Maple Bacon Obscene Shake ($6.48) and then step outside for a un-filtered smoke from their “vegan menu” ($7.40). Probably best not to mention this trip to your health care insurer.

4. Your evening…

It wouldn’t be Vegas without a massive blow-out culminating in a marriage you’ll forget all about by the next morning, and as you’re in Vegas you should do it in style. Dinner In The Sky is offering customers the chance to be hoisted 180 feet in the sky in order to lounge around, have a nibble, enjoy some cocktails or even get married. The Dinner Sky team will strap you into a custom made 22 seater dinner table complete with a chef, a Maitre d’, and a mixologist, you will then be winched up over the Las Vegas strip guaranteeing the best view in the City as you say your vows.

There you have it, a guide to Vegas that doesn’t include re-mortgaging your house in order to double down on the blackjack table, it might be worth taking out some extra health insurance before you leave though.

The 50 Shades Effect: What New Things People Are Trying in Bed!

Are you a wild animal between the sheets, or do you prefer a hot chocolate and a cosy night? Karma Sutra master or virtuous angel? Neapolitan or vanilla? Does “50 Shades” get your pulse racing, being tied up your new thing, it turns out you’re not the only one! A new study released this week has indicated that we are more turned on by taboos than ever before with kinks becoming common place in our bedrooms. Almost 600 people participated in a study this week to tell the world what is flicking their switch in the bedroom, and the results may shock you!

Looking for a threesome? 2 in 3 are looking for the same…

Every man has dreamed of the opportunity, a seminal moment in every mans life, a night when their game was so sharp they woke up the next morning getting spooned on both sides. So it may not be a surprise that when young men were asked if they would be interested in a tumble in the sheets with 2 or more people a whopping 65% said yes. Be it the devils threesome or a chance to take on two girls at once most guys would not hesitate to take up a couple of friends on the offer. But what may astonish you is that well over half of all girls are thinking the same way. A huge 56% of women would be game to getting down and dirty with a couple of (or maybe more) buddies. So when you’re trying to choose between the blonde and the brunette at the bar keep in mind that you might not have to. Just look out boys and girls, the more people you drag back from the bar Saturday night the more people you’ve got to buy breakfast for Sunday morning.

Mr. Grey will see you now…

We’ve all read the books, we’re all going to see the film, and maybe, just maybe we’ll be taking notes to bring back a bit of that spice to our own boudoirs. While only 42% of guys like the idea of being trussed up and playfully spanked a huge 61% of girls are down to bring out the whips and chains. With 50 Shades being the Valentines Day flick to get the palms sweaty and pulse racing its not a shocker than a lot of girls are looking for their own Mr. Grey to sweep them off their feet and into a pair of fluffy handcuffs. But remember to put the keys in a safe place or the fire department may end up making an unplanned visit to your palace of pleasure.

Does skinny dipping count as cheating?

A few other stats may give you pause for thought. More guys would consider having an affair before they would strip down in public. 15% said they get all hot and bothered when thinking about cheating on their significant other compared to just 12% getting their rocks off in public.

Girls fancy getting a little bit breathless when in the throws of pleasure, over 30% of women confessed to wanting a little light strangulation in the bedroom in comparison to just 9% of their male counter parts.

Overall it would appear we are about as sexually liberated as we have ever been. Thanks to 50 Shades and the marvels of the internet were all a little more in touch with which sexual buttons work and which don’t. For all you sexual trailblazers remember communication is key, no one is going to have fun if your not on the same page as your partner (or partners). So go forth my freaky friends, maybe tonight is your night for a little adventure.