How to Dress for and Plan Your First Date- Based off of Your Zodiac Sign

Let’s face it; sometimes, we just do not have a clue what to wear or do on that first date. For plans you can go back and forth between each other, but then you might end up in a basic and boring atmosphere. Here is the perfect outfit and colors to wear for that big day/night and where you should go to make sure you really can hit it off!

 

Virgo

August 23rd– September 22

Since you are indecisive at times, dress for the weather. Show those shoulders and let your top speak for itself pairing it with skinny jeans. Blush is your perfect color due to its modesty and simplicity. Let your date reflect your simple top.  Try to go to a quiet place that is less busy, as a Virgo you have a hard time accepting over the top romantics, so for the first date keep it simple! Take all his compliments at the fullest extent to give yourself a boost of confidence.

 

Libra

September 23rd to October 22nd

Despite your usual laid back behavior, when it comes to your first date outfit make sure to dress in the 9’s.  Your perfect color is powder blue, so mix up a flowered print with a denim jacket on top.  If you’re looking for a sleeker look, switch it up and go with a leather jacket over a powder blue shirt. Since your sign appreciates art, mix it up and go to a gallery or art exhibit. You crave having all of their attention so make sure you do something where their eyes are always on you, such as sitting across from each other at a trendy new restaurant.

 

Scorpio

October 23rd– November 21st

Being you are the most independent sign, flaunt what your mama gave ya! Indigo is your perfect color, so mix a simple dress with ankle booties. Your best scene is the nightlife. You prefer the darker lighting, so make sure to schedule your date after hours. Being you like taboo subject and the darker side of life look for places or a movie that deals with sex, death, and even horror. You want to make sure that you can have some alone time and get the attention you are craving.

 

Sagittarius

November 22nd– December 21st

You are very straightforward in your style: bold, bright, but most important you want to always be comfortable. Try dressing up your usually comfy look with a set of heels for a special night out.  Elevate your comfy look with a malachite (green) chunky necklace to add some unique spice. Along with being comfy remember your adventurous side also! More than likely even if you make specific plans, they will not fall through so just roll with the evening. Try some exotic foods that you usually would not get, or push it to the extreme and pump that adrenaline by going on some carnival rides.

 

Capricorn

December 22nd– January 19

You are nothing less than traditional from your plans to the wardrobe you have. Pearl white as your best color to wear shouldn’t come as a surprise. Since you do not like to be pushed out of your comfort zone, either keep it simple and go to dinner and a movie or you can class it up and go to a more expensive restaurant. If keeping it simple a plain white t-shirt dressed up with a color jacket, jeans, and your favorite loafers will work. Otherwise, if you are hitting up the upscale date, wear a pearl white or nude colored shimmery dress with nude heals.

 

Aquarius

January 20th– February 18th

You are extremely creative and original when it comes to your wardrobe. You prefer to walk to beat of your own drum. The perfect color for you to match your eccentric attitude would be raspberry. Sneak this into your outfit and watch it turn heads with your already killer wardrobe. For dates, unconventional and group dates are what makes you most comfortable. You are also a huge lover, so volunteer your time, or visit somewhere that is eco-friendly. You are more than happy to be pushed out of your comfort zone and try something different.

 

Pisces

February 19th to March 20th

The closes that fit you are flowy and could be decribed as almost hippy like. Your head is often stuck in the clouds, but your selflessness and compassion makes amethyst your perfect color. Show a little skin by wearing a high waisted flowing skirt and crop top to add some sex appeal to your outfit. As a Pisces you are  die-hard romantics so expect him to give you some pretty sappy gestures on your date. Plan something over the top such as a aromantic dinner where you are waited on for every single thing, then hold hands and go for a walk.  You are also a lover of music, so if you can mix it up and go to a dance, it might not be a bad idea either!

 

Aries

March 21st to April 19th

You are another trend setter that is just radiating with confidence. You are a try- anything type of person who is completely independent. Statement pieces including fire engine red are your perfect pieces for a first date. Add some crazy pattern or a statement jacket and you are set! You need to stay busy so an action packed date is the way to go. Thing that are activity focused such as a hike, biking, or indoor climbing would be good options to wear you out a little bit. It is important to keep a busy and active agenda, otherwise you will lose interest!

 

Taurus

April 20th to May 20th

You are someone who LOVES luxury. Your perfect colors are neutrals including Latte and Taupe; however, make sure you do not forget that expensive jewelry, or that shimmery purse. You need to make sure that your date is willing to spend some money. Do something indoors such as eat at a fancy restaurant and attend a wine tasting, or go to a concert and do some dancing.

 

Gemini

May 21st to June 20th

You want to make sure that you have a fun yet elegant look for your date. Mint is a fun yet elegant color that you can pair easily with other patterns to add a playful look. Even though you have a very playful look, you prefer your date to be somewhere casual with a lot of peole around. You are very good with rolling with the punches as things come up, but remind him that you do not like to pushed out of your comfort zone.

 

Cancer

June 21st to July 22nd

You are a very loving person that loves to stick to things you are familiar with. Now is not the time to break out a new shirt you are questioning. Stick to the basics, which do not always need to be boring. Wear your t-shirt that are natural pastels such as peach with jean shorts and low top sneakers. When it comes to your plans for the date, again this is not the time to try something new. Go somewhere you have been before and are familiar with which will help you in your conversations and being open with your date. If needed tell your waiter not to bother you so you can really get some good alone time and good conversation in.

 

Leo

July 23rd– August 22

Due to your creative boldness it is important that you make a bold statement! Wear a bold shirt with leggings and your favorite pumps. If you are more of a subtle person, grab a bright accent purse to bring with you. Your perfect accent color is Marigold, so sneak that in your outfit for a killer look. Being you are a lover of drama, hit up a movie theater and watch the hottest show released.

 

No matter what you decide to do, make sure you kill it with confidence and just have fun!

Header Image Source

The Perfect Couples Bucket List for Fall (50 Things)

Bake a pumpkin pie

Rake the leaves and jump into the pile

Have a campfire and make s’mores

Visit and orchard and pick apples

Handpick out a pumpkin

Carve pumpkin and display them on from porch

Drink apple cinder

Watch Hocus Pocus

Visit a haunted house

Bake sugar cookies and decorate

Visit a corn maze

Cuddle up on the couch and watch scary movies

Go Tailgating

Cook a Thanksgiving meal together

Make caramel popcorn

Eat caramel covered apples

Make homemade chili

Dress up for Halloween and go out

Open all of the window in the house

Get a few fall scented candles

Go on a nature hike

Collect pinecones

Toast pumpkin seeds

Take your family Christmas picture

Paint a gourd

Get lattes and sip on them while reading a good book

Get fall décor and decorate house

Clean the house and get ready for holidays

Drink hot chocolate

Make a fall craft

Decorate your porch

Go on family bike ride

Go to a farmers market

Watch a sunrise

Watch a sunset

Two words, Pumpkin Spice

Take a foggy morning walk

Read a good book

Try a new fall recipe

Make a fall music playlist

Go on a fall picnic

Try a new soup recipe

Enjoy a scenic fall drive

Check out the community calendar and attend an event

Go to the dog park

Go star-gazing

Make a pinecone bird feeder

Go fishing

Donate to a food bank

Make a handprint turkey

Our Friendship’s Strong Enough to Survive the Distance

Our Friendship

Let’s be honest, life happens and you might end up leaving the friend who is closer than family behind.  It is not always easy, but when your friendship is solid, you go above and beyond to remain close no matter how far apart you might be. You make it work, because you know your life would not be the same without your best friend. You might be miles away, but you know that your bestie will, in fact, always be there for you at heart.

 

For you and your bestie, daily contact is a must.

Whether it is little memes that make you smile, tagging them in a Facebook post that makes you think of an inside joke, or actually calling or sending a text, you end up being in contact with your girl more than with any other person. With all the social media options, you really do not have an excuse to stay connected.

You literally know everything about each other on the daily through the constant pictures of anything that you share: what you ate, what movie you are watching, the third glass of wine you are drinking, something funny you say, or your adorable pets.

No matter what it is, you are keeping that bond with each other alive.  So alive you’ve managed to make video chats cut your distance in half.

 

Road Trip Conversation Starters For Couples Traveling

Due to the holidays and the time of year, traveling in the car seems to pick up more than ever. It can often get boring sitting in the car listening to the same old music even when you are sitting next to someone that you absolutely love. So why not make it a little more fun by not only killing time, but by also learning more about the person that is sitting next to you. Asking and discussing these 20 questions can lead to some in-depth questions making the drive to your destination go so much faster!


1. What do you consider to be your best and your worst qualities?

2. What do you consider mine?

3. Are you friends with any of your exes?

4. Do you think it's possible to be friends with the opposite sex?

5. Have you ever had your heart broken?

6. What is your opinion on monogamy?

7. How would you define the term of cheating?

8. What's your earliest memory that you have?

9. Do you have any unfulfilled desires or fantasies?

10. What is your greatest fear?

11. What do you do when you are in a bad mood?

12. Who do you go to when you need advice?

13. Is it ok to lie in any circumstances?

14. Would you ever consider relocating for a job if needed?

15. Have you ever lost someone you truly loved?

16. How do you feel about group vacations with other couples?

17. Do you want to have children, when?

18. What is your dream vacation?

19. Would you rather buy or rent a home?

20. What is your biggest motivation for each day?

21. What is your idea about afterlife, reincarnation?

22. How religious do you consider yourself?

23. Would you ever consider being a stay at home parent?

24. How do you envision splitting up family time during the holidays?

25. What have you spent the most money on in your life?

26. What are you currently saving money for?

27. Where do you see us in a year/ three years/ ten years?

28. What do I do that annoys you most?

29. Who is your favorite fictional character?

30. What do I do to make you feel most loved?

Follow more articles on Facebook!

Scoot Over Boys, Women Can Lift Weights Too

When it comes to lifting weight and going to the gym, many people associate it as more of a man thing to do, but sorry boys, women are on the prowl and invading your territory! Unlike men, wanting to bulk up and look beefy is far from most women’s goals, but more studies are showing that the health and fitness benefits of lifting are outweighing just doing cardio and sit-ups for that perfect body we are all striving for.


Disclaimer:It is always important to lift the appropriate weights for your strength and health while using correct technique to avoid injury.


Gain strength without bulking up.

Most women are not looking to go to the extremely of the body building women because we just want to tone and lose fat, but lifting can actually tone your body without giving you that bulking look.  And the great part about building strength is that larger muscles burn more calories and burning calories ultimately adds up to weight loss.

Reduce risk of injury.

Women are not always the most graceful humans, especially when we put on some of those black high heels.   Lifting can actually help strengthen muscles that running leaves out, giving you better balance, strength, and a better chance of being a lot sturdier. 

Improve posture and reduce back pain.

Not all women, but a portion of women are blessed/cursed with having large girls that can cause them some back issues.  Lifting can help tone your chest and back muscles, which helps to improve your posture and can actually reduce some of your back pain that you suffer from.  There is also a small possibility that you can lose some of that extra boobage from fat and weight loss.

Lose more belly fat compared to cardio.

Despite what some women think, running endless on the treadmill followed by sit-ups, is not the best way to burn abdominal fat and get the flat stomach that we all dream of. Due to building up your muscles on your body and using your core, you can burn more calories faster.

Enhance mood and reduce stress.

Why would your man not want you to have a better mood and be less stressed out?! Let’s face it, we are constantly stressing over so many different things in our lives including, jobs, children, family, money, and our self-image. Lifting even three times a week for an hour can help boost your mood immediately all while helping you get your frustrations and stress out of your body.  You are taking something negative and putting it to good use, and allowing it to push you closer to your goal of a better, healthier body.

Help your body continue to burn more calories even after your workout.

Due tolifting actually building up your body’s own metabolism, you can make sure thatyou are building lean muscle and increasing the calories you are burning longafter you leave the gym.  It also helps your body process and burn thefood that you are eating, which makes weigh loss a lot easier compared tohaving a metabolism of a slug.

Help prevent diseases that women are most effected by.

Lifting is a huge preventative when it comes to osteoarthritis, heart disease, and depression and anxiety which women are more likely to have compared to men.  Whether it is building up the muscles of your heart, helping your joints stay strong and fluid, or releasing tension and feel good hormones, lifting not only makes your body look better on the outside, it helps you feel better on the inside.

See more articles on Facebook!

This is Why You Should Never Ask a Couple When They're Having a Baby

Despite everyone’s personal thought about a new or existing relationship, you will always have the family and friends looking in, making comments about what they feel is the next step like  "You should have a baby".  

If I could count the number of times that I have heard this, I would have run out of fingers and toes.  I am all about wanting a family, but the last thing I want to hear is people telling me over and over that they think it is time. Whether they are parents wanting grandchildren, like yesterday, or friends that have baby fever and apparently elected you as that lucky friend, I want to have a choice for when I feel ready. 

Honestly, hearing it over and over makes me want to punch someone in the face compared to conceiving and carrying a child for everyone to gawk over.

I love children, I really do, but I also love my peace and quiet.  I love the man that I am with and the time that we get to spend together cooking and eating a quiet meal, watching a good movie, and cuddling up for some restful sleep without throwing a child in the mix.

Being able to decide mid-week that we are going on a mini-vaca to a hotel a few hours a week is fantastic! Currently we don’t have to plan for a sitter, diapers, wipes, toys, and the other endless amount of things that go into our car just to be gone over night.  We can throw a few outfits into a book bag and just go, and I love that

Maybe we want to have a baby maybe not, so when you say your insensitive comment, you are implying that something is wrong with us. You don't know anything about our relationship. Whether we have been trying to conceive for months or even years, or maybe we have struggled with having early term miscarriages that we decided to keep private. You telling asking is just a big mistake. 

Maybe things are not going as good as you think behind the scenes. Maybe we are struggling to keep it together, or maybe we are to the point where we have already fallen apart. There is so much that goes on in our lives that your input can honestly be more hurtful than helpful.  

Whose business is it anyways what we are doing with our lives and our bodies? Having children is a life time commitment, filled with not only your time and dedication, but for us women, our bodies. We just committed to each other, and that is a large enough step.  We are not looking to step to quickly. Why rush the time that we have to share with each other?

We are constantly learning about each other, falling a little more in love day after day. There is nothing that I would love more in the future than to have someone look up at me and call me mommy.  To see my man holding a little bundle of joy, smiling, possibly crying at the most beautiful thing to have happened, but I want that to be our decision.

We do not need the encouragement of others about how to live our lives, we are doing just fine! So please, refrain yourself when you thinking about asking, "When are you going to have a baby?"


See more articles on our Facebook page!

Bulletproof Plan for All Ladies Bringing in 2018 Single

When it  comes to New Year’s Eve, it can be extremely depressing when you think about  being single. Besides Valentine’s day, it is actually the second hardest  holiday to be alone during. To help with looking past the single life, here are  some ideas to keep your spirits high, and your plans festive!


HAVE SOMETHING TO DO

This is the most important step in the whole process. Whether you are staying in, or deciding to make plans and going out, you need to plan something. Do NOT wait to make last minute plans because if they fall through, or your friends bail last minute, it will leave you stuck at home, moping around which is the wrong way to start a brand-new year.

FIND A PARTER(S) TO BRING IN THE HOLIDAYS WITH

Whether it is your best friend and partner in crime, or just some mutual friends that are looking for something to do, make sure you pick a group that will have fun no matter the activities, and not cause drama or sulking.  Remember you are trying to start the new year on a good foot! I would suggest close friends that enjoy similar activities and then make an awesome itinerary!

GO OUT ON THE TOWN WITH FRIENDS

Take some time in the afternoon to get dressed up and feeling sexy to the MAX! Make sure that you have a bulletproof plan when going out about where you are going to dance, people you are going to meet out, and more importantly where you are going to watch the ball drop! Make it a singles night, so that no one is feeling left out or like an extra wheel.  Just make sure that no matter how much fun you have, that you have an Uber or Lyft driver to get you back home.

DON’T FRET ABOUT THE MIDNIGHT KISS

When it comes to traditional New Year’s Eve, there is always a kiss that is involved. Traditions are not something that is life or death; however, if you are really upset or worried about it there are ways that are getting around it.  You can either play the field and find another single that is floating around worried about the same traditional kiss, or you can always just give your best friend a friendly kiss.  Whether it is all about passion or just platonic and filling a void, at least you can feel like you followed the useless tradition.

BE A PARTY ANIMAL

Whether you are an extrovert or an introvert on every other day of the year, make sure that you are willing to amp it up for the evening!  The more that you have a few drinks and let loose the more fun that you are setting yourself up for! Safety is always important so stick with your ladies, but make sure that you are all willing to let loose and be those crazy party animals!

GO IN WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

I know that being single might not have been the first thing on your list.  Maybe it was a recent breakup, or maybe you have been single for a while, but no matter what your relationship status is, be sure that you are glowing with positivity and prepared for a great new year that is ahead of you! Not only should you make sure that your attitude is in check, but also make sure that everyone in your groups is following this rule, also!

 

Follow my blog farther at BLOG ME SOME LOVE‘s Facebook Page.

To the Bad Mom's This Christmas Season

For many year mothers have been expected to make sure that Christmases go exactly as every children’s book and tradition portray. The house is tidy, the presents perfectly placed and wrapped under the tree, and of course, the stockings are all hung by the chimney with care.  

The food is just right, and as everyone is sleeping soundly in their beds with sugar plumbs dancing in their heads, mothers everywhere are restless thinking of the long list of things that they need to complete to make Christmas Day go smoothly. 

But what happens when they are tired of it.  Tired of the perfection that they strive for, working them far past the point of exhaustion.  They are fed up, and this year, they are putting their feet down and frankly not giving a s***. This year, they are becoming bad moms.

Everyone on your block has the perfect decorations in their front yards: lights, snowman, beautiful blow up penguins, Santa Clause, and reindeer. 

You look at your front lawn that now has a small dusting of snow, but remains bare of decorations.  You shrug because who honestly cares right? You will tell your husband to handle it, and if he does it perfect, and if not, f*** it.

By this time the Christmas cards should be organized, taking the perfect family pictures and placing them into a cute template labeled Happy Holidays! You grab your computer and realize that you really don’t have the want or desire to waste your time getting the perfect picture, template, size and shape of paper, thickness, and finish for the perfect invite.  

Instead, you find a generic card from Walmart, slap Happy Holidays from our family to yours, and hit ship. Who really reads them anyways?

Grocery shopping and getting the final touches to add to the house is usually extremely stressful, but having that bad mom attitude this year has put a solid end to that. 

You have your husband drop you off at the front of Target, and you head in to get the last of the groceries and decorations before all of the family show up for the big day. 

Why have your husbands drive you? One, you deserve to be treated like royalty every so often, and two, pregaming for Target shopping.  You can have a few before shopping mimosas to make the trip a lot more relaxing and fun.  

Some Targets are now selling alcohol to drink while you shop, so why not kick start the trend? Get some of that delicious Starbucks coffee, and throw a little something extra in it, to warm your soul.

Being you can spend hours in Target, you are feeling pretty good by the time your husband swings back through to pick you up.  As he is loading the groceries into the car, he finds that you have decided to purchase not only what was on your list, but apparently you decided it was time for new curtains, rugs, and bathroom décor.  

He also noticed the almost case of wine that you have purchased to help your relax and get through this holiday season. Target has won again.

As you get home you unpack everything and redecorate the curtains, rugs, and bathroom.  Everyone starts whining about supper.  Let’s face it, after a long day at Target shopping and drinking in celebration of getting your task list done that last thing that you want to do is go into the kitchen to cook.  

You could nicely ask your husband to get off his a** and cook, but it isn’t worth the argument.  You call the local pizza place and just get delivery.

After you get done eating, you send the kids to bed and come back downstairs.  The house remains a mess (lived in), coats, boots, hats, and mittens spread along the floor in the entry way, but your tired and want a glass of wine, so that can wait.  

You get into your warm fuzzy pajamas, grab your wine and put on a movie that you have wanted to watch for far too long, but haven’t had the chance to get to.

Your husband shakes his head wondering what the hell is this woman doing.

Christmas Eve day is here and you need to start preparing for everyone to come.  You go into the bedroom and start to wrap all of the presents.   Unlike past years where you made sure they looked perfect with clean crisp folds, you just get it done.  

They don’t look picture perfect, but you really do not care being they just get ripped apart anyways. Instead of the perfect placement you toss the presents back under the tree, thinking the kids will be thankful to at least see something there, whether stacked perfectly or not. 

You move to the kitchen and start putting together all of the foods that are as close to premade as you could find.  

You really didn’t feel like cooking today, so instant potatoes, premade salads, and a giant ham that just sits in the oven are the perfect things for the menu.  You make sure to take the tags off of the desserts placing them on your own dishes.

As everyone comes in the door, they mingle a little eating all of the not homemade dips and snacks you have, praising you for what a wonderful job that you did again this year.  You get a few questions about the lesser amount of decorations and the Christmas card, but you blow them off because really, you don’t care.

As you sit around the table, everyone boasts about how delicious the food is, asking you about the recipes. Is there fresh sage in this dish? You take a large sip of your wine thinking, shit Susan your guess is as good as mine! Dessert goes the same way, everyone more than happy with the food that you did not take time to prepare.

As you shuffle people out the door, wine glass still in hand, you plop down on the couch.  Even being a bad mom, Christmas is still so exhausting!  You look at the kitchen, over flowing with dishes, furniture moved around from the crowd of guests you just kicked out of your house, and you grab the remote for the TV, sinking farther into the couch.

Follow Blog Me Some Love's Facebook page! 

Ways for the Girl Who Loves Food to Stay Fit During the Holidays

The struggle is real this time of the year. All these holidays that are basically based on food (your favorite thing) and here you are trying your very best to stay fit (your least favorite thing). Between the appetizers, cheese plates, and giant turkey dinners how are you going to make it through? 

Us girls who love food are seriously struggling to try to not eat everything in sight. “Try a little of everything!” they said, “OK, good idea,” we said. Then 3 plates and a wardrobe change to sweatpants later, we’re regretting every life choice we’ve ever made. 

Being the girl who literally lives for food but is also trying to stay fit is tough during the holidays, but there are ways that we can make it through this together.

Before the holidays start, try to make it a point to get a little bit more active than usual. Whether it is actually leaving the house and going to the gym or just doing some small stretches, yoga, or simple exercises, anything helps to burn calories.

An easy and quick exercise to slip into your day is to do squats a few different times when you do a specific activity, such as wash your hands. You could also do wall sits or planks during a commercial for your favorite TV show that you sit down and watch at night.  Another simple thing you could do is just do leg lifts before you go to bed to tighten those thighs and legs and make that butt look stellar in that little black dress.

To prepare for the immense amount of food you’re about to take in, try to eat more of a keto diet on the days surrounding the holidays. This is a diet that focuses on very low carbs and a lot healthier proteins and fats.  It is good to eat vegetables and fruit with this diet, along with trying to drink as much water as possible. 

Some healthy ideas of foods to eat are eggs, avocados, cheese, sausage, and leafy green vegetables. There are a lot of supplements that can help with boosting your body into ketosis, such as the Pruvit product line. With eating a healthy keto diet and exercise it is easy to lose a lot of weight rather quickly. The only thing to worry about is continuing the diet a healthy lifestyle to maintain the weight loss.

Once your holiday celebrations start, you need to keep the mindset that you still have time to get that rockin’ bod by the end of the year.

So while you’re mingling at the family party, stop yourself from “grazing.” Grazing is grabbing a cookie each time you pass the tray or having 18 pieces of cheese with olives just because it’s there. Grab either a glass of water, wine, or a low-calorie drink to sip on while you are catching up with all your friends and family. You could also go for some fruits, veggies, or nuts so that you are not stuffed before you get to the table.

And when dinner is served, eat with a purpose. When dishing your plate up, start with a smaller plate so that you have less room to fill up. Make sure that you start by putting the fruit and vegetables on it first. This way it will look like you have more food on your plate than you will.

The second thing that you should add to your plate is your protein.  Eat a filling serving of your favorite meat whether it is beef, ham, or turkey. This will be the thing that not only keeps you full, but will still give you that stuffed feeling.  If you are eating family style, make sure to eat slowly and wait at least ten minutes between servings.

Make sure that you are not wasting calories on things that you do not even like.  A lot of times people will tell you to make sure and try everything; however, if you are trying to keep those calories down, is it really that important to consume calories you don’t even want to? This is most important when it comes to desserts and sugary foods.

Once everyone’s done eating, make sure to clean everything up and put it away immediately so it isn’t tempting you throughout the rest of the day. 

Another tip is to try to plan activities to keep everyone moving as compared to sitting.  This will help burn the extra calories from your meal without really trying. From cornhole to beer pong, do whatever it takes to get everyone up instead of dozing off on the couch.

Follow my blog farther at BLOG ME SOME LOVE‘s Facebook Page!

You Fucked Me Over and Left Me Dying for Your Love

The hardest part of him leaving is the feeling of not being enough. The feeling that somewhere the grass really was greener on the other side. The fact that despite all my greatest efforts in the world, I was and never would be good enough.  He didn’t just leave me for someone else; he left me addicted, on a crazy never-ending carousel, dying for his love.

His scent that is lingering on his pillow. Different than any other man I have met before, it teases me of his memory. Thoughts flooded through my head about where he is sleeping now. Thinking about the new women, the apparently better women, that kept him warm at night. The most beautiful, calming, toxic scent that is somehow stuck in my memories.

Wrapping myself in a hug, I sit on the floor looking around the apartment, “our” apartment. The home that you decided to leave because of a different woman.  You left me to try and survive by myself, the stress fueling my anxiety. You didn’t just leave me for her, you fucked me over.

You left me wanting something that was just out of my reach. It was all a game to you. You were playing me. I begged for your attention. I just wanted everything to work. All while you wanted something completely different.

The difference is, you never decided to tell me.  You left me trying, busting my ass to make things work. I did everything to try to make things better. I did things different more of what I felt like you wanted. I made sure that you didn’t have to lift a finger.  I tried to the point of exhaustion, where it started to consume my life.

I would apologize for things that didn’t even exist just to try and keep you there. I would beg, cry, plead for you to come back, which for a while you did. Sad thing that I did not realize was, it was never for me, it was for the convenient life that I was giving you. You had it made. I took care of all your basic needs, all while you left me to be with her.

I was stuck in an intense addiction. It started to become my motivation, my goal, my life: I must win him back.  I was hollow. I started to become confused about love really was because I lived without it for so long.

I can still hear the notifications ringing on his phone, dropping a painful, sickening, pit into my stomach. His lies, the constant, painful lies, were all that I would ever hear from him. Despite what people thought, I was never stupid. I knew what was going on, and I knew I was getting screwed over, but I loved him.

This, however, was just as much of a lie as he was telling me. I no longer knew what love was. I was addicted to the rush of competing for his love, not the love that I was receiving. I was living in deception, fabricated by whatever he wanted to tell me.

He got out just fine. He found her, whoever she is, that could apparently do everything better than me. What he didn’t care about was me. He left me in a withdrawal of his scent, his skin, his laugh, his addictive and enslaving love. He fucked me over and left me here, makeup running down my face, crying.

He left me to pick myself up, to start over. He left me to start over, relearning everything I ever thought love was. He may have left me here dying for his love, but he did not defeat me.

Spread the love and follow me farther at Blog Me Some Love‘s Facebook page.

Exit mobile version