Everyone always tell you that you have to be strong. That you have to have your life together, and everything has to be figured out. You’re not allowed to cry, because real women don’t shed tears. You’re not allowed to complain, because that means you are conceited and ungrateful. Don’t think about missing “him,” either because you have to be independent and loving a man “too much” is defined as being weak.
It’s almost like if you do any one of these things, or have any form of an emotional reaction to any situation, you’re automatically inferior, or too “womanly,” for the real world. You know what I mean, especially when it comes to being a working woman. There’s that one, or two, or three co-workers male or female alike, who are watching you day to day just waiting for you to break under pressure so they can tell you to just give up your career and be a stay at home mom. Oh, and let us not forget the ones who judge the women who ARE stay at home mommies, and tell them their lack of “work ethic,” is disappointing.
I mean when is the judgment on women going to stop?
And what’s even worse is when we find women tearing each other down even more than society already does. If we want to be stay at home moms who work from home, we’re still somehow lazy to the mom who works full-time uptown, because we aren’t willing to leave the house to work. Or if our at home job is only enough pay to pay half of the bills, we are selfish because our partner is out there working harder to make means meet! You know everything HAS to literally be 50/50 in a marriage even when it comes to finances. And if you want to equally provide as much or even MORE than your partner, that’s great as long as you’re happy!
So why are women always comparing their lives to one another’s and getting spiteful out of jealousy, when we all really have one common factor in play? We are all ultimately trying to justify our life choices and lifestyles to that of which society has created in it’s mold for the “perfect woman.”
How truly sad it is to actually step back and think about.
I mean if you think about it, almost everywhere you go in life there seems to always be a nay-sayer, a gossiper, a back stabber, and a disappointing deceiver. Whether you find and face them within the workplace, your family gatherings, social group, your church, your child’s school PTA group, the yoga class you attend twice a week, wherever! Here’s one thing I have learned to do… to lift your head up and look past them all.
Doing just so doesn’t mean you’re trying to give off a message of being better than them, it just means they’re opinions and views of you don’t matter! And more importantly, you are stating that the normal behavior or perspective of society that is deemed as acceptable, just doesn’t apply to you. And it isn’t for anyone else to say that, that’s not okay!
The rules of society don;t like when you turn against them or disagree with what they say.
When people in this world look at you and tell you who you should be, and what you should be doing and how to do it, you have to throw the picture perfect image back in their faces. You have to rise above the self-inflicted disappointments and stop allowing yourself to self-compare not only to other women but to other peoples lives, jobs, hobbies, bodies, anything and everything in between! You are a beautiful, gifted, wonderful human being no matter what you do for a living, if at all. You are not defined by your job, your mothering and nurturing of life, your wifely-hood, (no you don’t have to be a cellulite free trophy wife to make your husband blessed), and you are sure as heck not defined by what society tells us women to be.
It’s okay to laugh and to be joyful, but it’s also okay to cry and be angry at times too.
Women are emotional, that is something society will always be reminding us of, but men cry too. Men feel emotions just as much as we do, though they may experience them differently. And though some women may be more independent and more self-reliant, it’s okay to be dependent and in need of a man to help you everyday too. No matter who you are, you are you, and that will not change. Don’t feel weak for needing something different in life than the women you call your neighbor. And don;t sell yourself short because you feel less than because you don’t add up to society’s “ideal woman.”
Society may not like when we rise up and fight back, but who cares. We are human, and we will be who we want to be, against all odds.