5 Hidden Signs That Indicate You May Have An Anxiety Disorder

When it comes to anxiety, nothing is truly ever simple or easy. Those who suffer from anxiety know firsthand that having the disorder makes even the most normal things difficult. While many people live their lives easily–wake up, shower, eat breakfast, go to work, etc.–those with anxiety struggle to get through normal routines and everyday experiences.

While not every single moment of every single day is an obstacle (at least, not for most), there are days where we feel as though it’s impossible to even get out of bed. Nothing about having anxiety is simple or easy. In fact, it’s insanely complex–even more so when people don’t realize you are in a bad “state” or having an off day.

There’s a societal narrative that correlates anxiety attacks to simply hyperventilating and “breathing into a brown paper bag.” The media we’ve grown up around has cemented the image of an “anxiety attack” into our minds of being just that–sheer panic and inability to catch one’s breath. In reality–anxiety attacks can feel this way–but, it’s not always the case. Many people suffer from anxiety, in fact, according to The Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 40 million Americans suffer from anxiety disorders (that’s over 18% of the population). I think it’s safe to say that not everyone suffers in the exact same way.

There are more warning signs of having a loved one suffer from anxiety and a severe anxiety attack that friends, partners, and loved ones should be aware of in order to help, or even give them a break/cut them some slack when things seem a bit off with them.

1. Irritability and testiness:

When someone is having a bad bout with their anxiety, they’re going to be slightly on edge. Anxiety doesn’t come easily–it often times consumes you (especially when you’re having a bad anxiety attack). For this reason, people who are struggling will be edgy and quick to “fly off the handle” when they feel as though they are being called out/attacked. If your friend or loved one isn’t on their game and you feel as though they’re off, don’t push them and pry, continuously asking them “why?” It will make them feel as though you’re putting them on the spot and cause them to lash out. Instead, ask them if they’re okay and see if they can use some help, or maybe even some space (day off).

2. Obsessive behavior:

Anxiety can cause one to feel as though everything is wrong and everything needs to be fixed. When having an attack, sometimes people obsess and nit-pick at things over and over again. This can be in the form of a physical behavior/habit like biting one’s nails, picking at dead skin, twirling hair. It can also be something that is behavioral like changing one’s hair color, nail color, or outfit numerous times. Other times, those suffering will do the same activity over again until they feel satisfied, like cleaning. According to Sally Winston, PsyD, co-director of the Anxiety and Stress Disorder Institute of Maryland in Towson:

The finicky and obsessive mind-set known as perfectionism “goes hand in hand with anxiety disorders. If you are constantly judging yourself or you have a lot of anticipatory anxiety about making mistakes or falling short of your standards, then you probably have an anxiety disorder.”

3. Hyperemotions:

When having a bad anxiety attack, your loved one may be a bit more emotional than normal. This means they can react to just about anything that triggers them. If something upsets them more easily, it’s a tell-tale sign they may be struggling with an anxiety attack. The truth behind having anxiety attacks is that people who are going through them are emotionally exhausted. We’re on a roller coaster of emotions at extremely high levels from ourselves to begin with, when adding in other people and their reactions, it puts us overboard sometimes.

4. Inability to concentrate/zoning out:

We’re going through a million thoughts a minute when having a bad attack, so it’s natural that we will zone out into our own heads. Ben Michaelis, PhD, a New York City-based clinical psychologist and founder of the YouTube channel <https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCecNEV5jHuvbaoZOb5mygAw” target=”_blank” rel=”noopener”>One Minute Diagnosis. says that when people have anxiety attacks:

“[People will] feel like things are not real, or feel detached from oneself.”

Often times, it’s not the best for us to be “alone with our thoughts” because our thoughts can be extremely toxic and be triggering even worse bouts of anxiety for some, but it’s not as though we are able to just silence everything in our minds. The best course of action is to put our mind to something else, hopefully, helping ease the thoughts and panic in our minds.

5. Silence:

Many of those with anxiety, or even high-functioning anxiety, will be normal and talkative throughout the day and normally. If someone you know is usual social and has a day or two where they are much quieter or withdrawn, this could be a sign that they are suffering from anxiety attacks. It’s important to try and “get them out of their own heads,” but, don’t push them too hard.

The good news:

The good news about anxiety and panic attacks is that they don’t last forever. The more you become aware of the signs of incoming attacks, the better you will become at working through them. Eventually, with enough effort and work, you may be able to avoid them altogether.

20 Things That Will Actually Help Alleviate Your Anxiety When It’s At Its Worst

Anxiety is not something that is easy to deal with—especially on an everyday basis. For those who suffer from anxiety and anxiety disorders, they know that coping with the illness when it is at its worst can be the hardest part. Trying to “talk yourself down” or prevent an anxiety attack can be near impossible for many individuals. That’s why some users on Reddit seek outside advice and help on the site from those who also deal with anxiety and all of its problems. u/sailorv1993 asked Reddit users to share what helps them when everything seems too much and, some of the responses will really help you navigate your own anxiety, too.

1.

I know a lot of times when I’m feeling super anxious about something my brain just flips the “everything is terrible and going wrong and nothing is right” switch, and it’s just a downward spiral. Learning to just let myself feel every emotion, even if I know it’s just the anxiety talking has helped me work through the attacks. Validate yourself and your feeling, let yourself feel whatever your brain is throwing at you, and then when you’re calmer you can sort through the emotions. It’s helped me a lot.

godoftitsandsangria

2.

Focusing on my breathing and then if that doesn’t work, physically stepping away/leaving the situation. Also carrying around a water and taking a sip when I need to ground myself

cmccx

3.

Music. Lots and lots of music.

Tylord2

4.

oddly enough, cleaning and organizing things/rooms.

makidee33

5.

Taking a lap. When I feel like the walls are closing in, I excuse myself from wherever I am and go for a walk around the block to get fresh air and a little exercise. If this isn’t an option, I discreetly take a benzo and do some breathing exercises (there are some apps that help if you aren’t familiar!).

vagsquad

6.

My friend got me out of a panic attack pretty quickly by just having me focus on my hands. Placing them on the table, raising above my head. It re-centers your brain almost like a reboot because for me at least a panic attack is when my anxiety gets so high my brain short circuits and everything is in overdrive.

pearljune1

7.

Meditation and deep breathing. It sounds cliche, I know, but trust me it works. Learn it.

bawzzz

8.

My big, 72-pound, rescue dog. It’s like he just knows when I’m having a hard time and will come lay with me… literally just came down the stairs to check on me as I typed this.

hermi0ninny

9.

Small, manageable goals. If I’m having a panic attack, I just have to accept that it’s happening and focus on breathing. It will always pass. If it’s looping thoughts or rising anxiety, I try to focus on factual positives. Things are rarely ever as bad as my brain would have be believe.

Smched

10.

Going in a bathroom and putting my hands under running water.

Thecookieisalie

11.

Grounding exercises are what I have to do when I get panicky count 5 things you can see 4 things you can touch 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. Then close your eyes and breathe slowly, rinse and repeat.

-Aurum555

12.

Sitting in the shower.

cayebaye

13.

I just think to myself: “But will I die?”

The answer is always no. I may be anxious about something, but I know I can get through it. It helps.

Aetas800

14.

Crying. I know it sounds weird but its instant relief for me. You just gotta let it out.

Ilikesticks45

15.

My wife’s heartbeat. There’s lots of little things that can help, but hearing that works the best.

urosko

16.

My worst anxiety occurs during inaction, so I look to do something marginally productive like sweep the floor, make a snack, or shave. Obviously this is useful if the anxiety is due to being overwhelmed, but it works for me when feeling anxious about less tangible things as well. Even the most insignificant or minute task is better than sitting in anxiety, but the more lengthy and involved, the better relief (and sense of accomplishment).

-username_offline

17.

I know this might sound stupid but what helps me is calling myself out. If I’m starting to get an attack I start to go through emotions out of nowhere like over thinking or just wanting to punch a wall for no reason. And when I’m feeling them I just say wait a minute Why am I mad in the first place that’s stupid of me. Or even just telling myself hey don’t be sad there’s no point. But if I forget to do this and I’m in a public setting I close my eyes and count to 10 and I even sometimes breath in hold my breath for 5 or 10 seconds and breath out like u would if u where using a inhaler.

Princessclaya2

18.

CBD oil. It takes the edge off.

zenaa21

19.

I have a conversation with myself. I ask why I’m anxious, reasons why I should be anxious, reasons why I shouldn’t, why I’m afraid, how I should deal with it, etc.

Then I just give myself a pep talk afterwards and give myself encouragement that everything will be okay and I’m doing my best. Sometimes it works but other times the anxiety is overwhelming so I just acknowledge it’s there and force myself to go on with my day and take deep breaths throughout and try not to get angry.

On the medication side, beta blockers has helped me significantly for super intense moments.

pineapplebuttface

20.

Silence and holding perfectly still. The latter is complicated by the need for oxygen, so I breathe as slowly and with as little movement as possible. After a minute or two I can usually segue to deeper breathing and carefully controlled stretching, and then to normal movement again.

Dandibear

20 ‘Rude’ Things People Do That Are Actually Caused By Anxiety

When meeting people, we’re very quick to judge them based off of the first impression. Often, if we find that a person is rude or impolite, we write them off completely—thinking they’re just not a good person. In reality, many people who suffer from anxiety have coping mechanisms and side effects that may come off as rude, but in reality, are caused by their anxiety disorders. Recently, Facebook users began sharing the ‘rude’ and ‘impolite’ gestures that they often do but are misinterpreted completely due to their anxiety.

1.

Interrupting people during conversations. Sometimes it’s simply because I know I won’t remember what I wanted to say 2 seconds later. I see how much it irritates other people but I can’t help it.

Brittany Nicole Locklear

2.

I happily agree to meet,go out,make plans and then at the very last minute I find some lame excuse to not go. At the same time I feel relieved and terrible for that…

Silvia Zambon

3.

Sometimes, I get snappy with people, have an abrupt or harsh tone, or blow up over something that seems small. I know it makes me seem rude, but I really don’t mean to do it. My anxiety just makes me be so on edge that, sometimes, the slightest thing can push me over.

Ember Blizzard

4.

I sometimes don’t make eye contact with people when they talk to me, or look down at my nails, phone, or anything other than the person
It’s not that I’m rude, it’s that I can’t always handle looking someone in the eye when I’m anxious.

Abby Arianwen

5.

I can never answer phone calls, I can’t text people back most of the time, I lie and say that I’m sick when my friends make plans, I avoid people in real life (I crossed the street today so I won’t have to say hi to a friend)…

??? ??????

6.

If you’re talking to me and I’m stressed out or having an attack, I’ll begin to “zone out” I’ll usually just end up staring at you with a blank gaze and it won’t seem like I’m listening, although I am trying so hard to listen.

Mikelle Mefford

7.

 Flipping out at people I love because I am so overwhelmed and honestly do not know how to handle what I’m going through and project on them that they are judging me. I can be selfish in an attempt to do things I feel will help my anxiety without thinking about how said things affect other people. I can be demanding and bossy. Or I can shut down completely and come across as cold.

Mykee A. Morettini

8.

I ignore text messages and calls very frequently. I lie my way out of lots of social situations. I never mean these things in a rude way, I just feel like telling people I’m having a hard time is less understandable than me being sick or busy. I also frequently pluck at my eyebrows in public when I get anxious, same with picking at my nails or dead skin.

Kasey Berger

9.

I am on my phone a /lot/ in group settings. I know it’s not polite. I dislike when other people do this. But if I’m having a bad anxiety day, it’s an easy way to keep my mind busy and keep it from escalating into an attack.

Sharon Ellis

10.

I  have an uncontrollable small laugh when in serious uncomfortable situations and conversations. Being told you don’t really understand the scope of a situation because you’ve let out a laugh is devastating. And people don’t tend to believe that its not voluntary.

Angela Lingelbach

This Is How An Anxious Person Wants To Be Loved

The intense feeling of apprehension an anxious person feels can be debilitating to the point where you really have to take care of yourself, even more so than others. So don’t feel insecure when they say they’d like to be alone. It’s not you, it really is them.

They want you to understand their “personal” days.

They love spending time with you, they really do. It’s just that they need time alone to gather their racing thoughts. They want to make sure they’re alright, so they can be alright around you.

They want you to support them, not discipline them.

When you watch them break down and succumb to that anxiety attack, it can be so easy to give them advice on what they can do to get better.

Resist that temptation because it’s important to them that you know you’re their lover, not their therapist.

At that moment when their heart is pounding, the chest is in pain, and their lungs are hot and tight, they don’t want to talk, they want to be held. Nothing is more relaxing than your comfort.

Let them worry about you.

Don’t tell them to stop worrying about you, instead reassure them that you’ll be fine.

It’s tempting to tell them not to worry about you, but honestly, there’s no point. Worrying about you is one of the many ways they show their love because they care about you and they don’t want anything bad to happen to you.

But alas, anxious thoughts won’t let them go. You cough and for them, that means cancer. You come a few minutes late, and to them, that means you almost got hit by a bus. They know it’s irrational but they really can’t help it.

Love them gently.

Take your time loving them because they really love you. They may not show it, but they do. The thing is they’re fighting to take their lives back from anxiety. They’re healing from all the pain it’s caused.

Be gentle when you hug them because they’re fragile even when they’re strong.

12 Signs Your Anxiety Is Being Heightened By Your Relationship

At times dating can seem like an intense job interview that goes on forever. You have to constantly re-assess the situation; Do they like me? Do I like them? What did that text mean? Why haven’t I met their friends yet? Do I want to meet their friends? Honestly, it’s enough to give you dating anxiety, and you happen to already suffer from anxiety, oh boy!

People who suffer from anxiety become so used to over-thinking every little thing that it’s sometimes hard to differentiate between anxiety-induced problems and “real” problems but rest assured, just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you…When it comes to choosing that all-important s/o it’s important to recognize the difference between your anxiety and their crazy.

I’m not talking about dating a fellow anxiety suffer (that’s a whole other article), I’m talking about the kind of crazy lifetime makes movies about. The kind of crazy that should send up red flags to everyone. Fortunately, when it comes to this kind of crazy, there are telltale signs you can look for:

1. You never wonder if they’re “the one” cause your family and friends are constantly telling you they’re not:

There’s something to be said for second opinions, especially for those of us who second (and third, and fourth) guess everything. If your mom, best friend, and cat all hate them, something’s up.

2. They ignore your call, which sends you straight to panicville:

Okay to be fair, this might induce a panic attack no matter who does it (when people don’t text me back I get stressed out to the point I can’t breathe) but if they know this and still do it, or if you’re inquiries as to where they were being met with vague answers, the problem isn’t your anxiety, it’s their douchbaggery.

3. They don’t respect your personal space:

Sometimes you just need a minute, especially after a particularly rough panic attack, but your s/o demands your attention, regardless of what you’re going through. This might not seem like a huge deal, it good that they want to be with you, right? Not if it’s always on their schedule or to your detriment. If your s/o treats you more like a PA than a bae, ditch them.

4. “You…are pointing out my flaws again as if I don’t already see them…”

Once again Miss Swift (Taylor) is on point. It’s bad enough that you constantly replay things over and over in your mind, dissecting every little thing and keep a running list of your shortcomings without having someone around who reinforces these feelings of insecurity. Besides, what makes them so perfect?

5. You can’t do enough for them:

No, seriously, no matter what you do for them, it’s never enough. And it never will be. They’ll constantly complain and do everything in their power to take advantage of your anxiety and send you on a never-ending guilt trip. Trust me, that’s a trip (and a relationship) you’ll want to skip. And speaking of guilt…

6. The sky is falling…

Ever notice how your s/o seems to have a crisis every time you want to discuss one of their issues?? I mean, how can they be expected to focus on you when their life is in turmoil? And what kind of self-centered jerk would you be if you asked them to climb down off of their cross long enough to acknowledge another human being (namely you)? A manipulative douchelord/cruellabitch knows that you’re hyper-vigilant when it comes to being perceived as insensitive (or anything else negative) and will use this against you for as long as they can get away with it. Don’t let them.

7. Sometimes, the voices in your head are actual people…

In this case, the voice belongs to your s/o who claims to love you…yet, takes every possible opportunity to kick you when you’re down (And if you’re not down, they’ll be more than happy to knock you down and then kick you). They are constantly reminding you of the pecking order, at least as they see it; they are the sun, the moon, the earth, the sky, and you’re dirt. And the truly sad part? You don’t need any help in the “self-destruct” department, and they know it. Ugh! The next time they start throwing stones, remind them that they, too live in a glass house.

8. Gaslighting; it’s not just for movies anymore…

During one conversation your s/o says one thing…and says something completely contradictory in the very next convo, (occasionally in the very next sentence)! What’s worse, if you have the nerve to point this out (after internally questioning if you’re the crazy one 1,000 times) they will deny it with ease and conviction, often tossing in a “you never listen to me” for good measure. After a few rounds of this, you’ll be convinced that you’re imagining things. You’re not. This form of crazy-making (as if you needed any help) is very convenient for the douchelord/cruellabitch you graciously call an s/o because you can’t actually prove what was said. Unless you want to start recording all of your conversations or hire a court stenographer, I suggest you leave this Charles Boyer wannabe for a leading man more worthy of you.

9. It’s not just you…

You’ve accepted that you over-analyze things, and you are diligently working on rectifying this, but if you notice that others (friends, family, etc) seem anxious around them, or agitated, it’s not a red flag, it’s a neon sign! A person who corrodes the atmosphere of wherever they are is no good for your mental well being, or anyone else’s!

10. And your whiny, crybaby, problem would be…

They NEVER take your problems seriously! Never. When you attempt to talk to them about something your having difficulty with (or overreacting to) you’re met with criticism and ridicule. An anxiety suffer’s worst fear is that they won’t be taken seriously and if you’re getting it from your s/o, it’s a big hint that you’re in the wrong relationship.

11. Judgment zone:

One of the biggest components of anxiety (or at least one of the most talked about) is constantly feeling judged. We analyze the smallest glances and the briefest of interactions, the last thing we need is someone who jumps on the “over-analyzing” bandwagon.  As the saying goes “You can do bad by yourself…”

12. It’s not what you say…

Actually, sometimes it is; When people say or do things at inappropriate times and in inappropriate ways, it’s an attempt at control. They need to be the center of attention, always, and if their antics hurt someone’s feelings or rub anyone the wrong way…too bad! They are essentially more subtle, grown-up bullies.  If you continue along in a relationship with this person you will constantly waste your time stressing about what they are going to pull next, and that’s time that could be put to much better use.

49 Quotes That’ll Soothe Your Anxious Mind

Sometimes when you feel anxious, it feels like there is no way you’ll feel better again. The walls feel like they’re closing in around you and no matter how deep you try to breathe, you can’t seem to calm down. If you know that feeling you also know that there always is a way out of it, it just takes some time.

Next time you’re in need of some soothing words to calm your anxious heart, take a look at these quotes.

1. “The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master.” -– Robin Sharma

2. “Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” —Oprah Winfrey

3. “Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” —Thích Nhat Hanh

4. “Once you accept, truly accept, that stuff will happen to you and there is nothing you can do about it, stress miraculously leaves your life.” – Srikumar Rao

5. “The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.” —James Allen

6. “There are times when we stop, we sit still. We listen and breezes from a whole other world begin to whisper.” —James Carroll

5 Anxiety Attack Warning Signs That Are Much Harder To Spot Than Hyperventilating

When it comes to anxiety, nothing is truly ever simple or easy. Those who suffer from anxiety know firsthand that having the disorder makes even the most normal things difficult. While many people live their lives easily–wake up, shower, eat breakfast, go to work, etc.–those with anxiety struggle to get through normal routines and everyday experiences. While not every single moment of every single day is an obstacle (at least, not for most), there are days where we feel as though it’s impossible to even get out of bed. Nothing about having anxiety is simple or easy. In fact, it’s insanely complex–even more so when people don’t realize you are in a bad “state” or having an off day.

There’s a societal narrative that correlates anxiety attacks to simply hyperventilating and “breathing into a brown paper bag.” The media we’ve grown up around has cemented the image of an “anxiety attack” into our minds of being just that–sheer panic and inability to catch one’s breath. In reality–anxiety attacks can feel this way–but, it’s not always the case. Many people suffer from anxiety, in fact, according to The Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 40 million Americans suffer from anxiety disorders (that’s over 18% of the population). I think it’s safe to say that not everyone suffers in the exact same way.

There are more warning signs of having a loved one suffer from anxiety and a severe anxiety attack that friends, partners, and loved ones should be aware of in order to help, or even give them a break/cut them some slack when things seem a bit off with them.

1. Irritability and testiness:

When someone is having a bad bout with their anxiety, they’re going to be slightly on edge. Anxiety doesn’t come easily–it often times consumes you (especially when you’re having a bad anxiety attack). For this reason, people who are struggling will be edgy and quick to “fly off the handle” when they feel as though they are being called out/attacked. If your friend or loved one isn’t on their game and you feel as though they’re off, don’t push them and pry, continuously asking them “why?” It will make them feel as though you’re putting them on the spot and cause them to lash out. Instead, ask them if they’re okay and see if they can use some help, or maybe even some space (day off).

2. Obsessive behavior:

Anxiety can cause one to feel as though everything is wrong and everything needs to be fixed. When having an attack, sometimes people obsess and nit-pick at things over and over again. This can be in the form of a physical behavior/habit like biting one’s nails, picking at dead skin, twirling hair. It can also be something that is behavioral like changing one’s hair color, nail color, or outfit numerous times. Other times, those suffering will do the same activity over again until they feel satisfied, like cleaning. According to Sally Winston, PsyD, co-director of the Anxiety and Stress Disorder Institute of Maryland in Towson:

The finicky and obsessive mind-set known as perfectionism “goes hand in hand with anxiety disorders. If you are constantly judging yourself or you have a lot of anticipatory anxiety about making mistakes or falling short of your standards, then you probably have an anxiety disorder.”

3. Hyperemotions:

When having a bad anxiety attack, your loved one may be a bit more emotional than normal. This means they can react to just about anything that triggers them. If something upsets them more easily, it’s a tell-tale sign they may be struggling with an anxiety attack. The truth behind having anxiety attacks is that people who are going through them are emotionally exhausted. We’re on a roller coaster of emotions at extremely high levels from ourselves to begin with, when adding in other people and their reactions, it puts us overboard sometimes.

4. Inability to concentrate/zoning out:

We’re going through a million thoughts a minute when having a bad attack, so it’s natural that we will zone out into our own heads. Ben Michaelis, PhD, a New York City-based clinical psychologist and founder of the YouTube channel One Minute Diagnosis. says that when people have anxiety attacks:

“[People will] feel like things are not real, or feel detached from oneself.”

Often times, it’s not the best for us to be “alone with our thoughts” because our thoughts can be extremely toxic and be triggering even worse bouts of anxiety for some, but it’s not as though we are able to just silence everything in our minds. The best course of action is to put our mind to something else, hopefully, helping ease the thoughts and panic in our minds.

5. Silence:

Many of those with anxiety, or even high-functioning anxiety, will be normal and talkative throughout the day and normally. If someone you know is usual social and has a day or two where they are much quieter or withdrawn, this could be a sign that they are suffering from anxiety attacks. It’s important to try and “get them out of their own heads,” but, don’t push them too hard.

The good news:

The good news about anxiety and panic attacks is that they don’t last forever. The more you become aware of the signs of incoming attacks, the better you will become at working through them. Eventually, with enough effort and work, you may be able to avoid them altogether.

10 Things You Can Expect If You’re Dating A Woman With Anxiety

You don’t see it on our faces when we meet for our first date. It’s not something we wear on our sleeve when you take us home for the first time. On the surface, we seem cool, calm and collected when you lean in for our first kiss. When we text at night, there’s no trace of it through our words. Our voice doesn’t shake when you call to ask how our day is going. You can’t even see it when we pack for our first trip together. Slowly, but surely as time passes through our relationship, it creeps out in bits and pieces–asking to be addressed.

We begin to ask you things over and over, wanting reassurance in where we are. We start to overanalyze and knit-pick at our relationship, even when nothing’s wrong. We begin to worry about things that, to you seem irrational, but to us, seem normal. We lose sleep. We can’t eat. We start to change. Slowly, but surely, a third person enters our relationship uninvited.

Our anxiety.

Living with anxiety isn’t something that we sign up for. It’s not something we wanted to brand ourselves with, like getting a piercing or a tattoo. We didn’t ask to be diagnosed with a condition that hinders our everyday lives. But the reality of the situation is, our anxiety isn’t something that is going to go away overnight. Some days, we hardly even know it’s there. But there are other days that are bad–really bad. We can’t get out of bed. We can’t stop the worry. We hyperventilate just to make it through the day.

Dating a girl with anxiety isn’t easy.

It’s not going to be the same kind of relationship you’ve had with other women in the past. Nothing is going to be “simple.” But, that doesn’t mean that everything has to be all doom and gloom. Girls with anxiety love hard, and they live fiercely. They will protect you and stand by you through the storm at all costs. They will always, always support you because they know firsthand how much support truly matters. There are a lot of things you’re going to have to do differently when you date someone with anxiety.

10. You’ll need to practice patience.

When anxiety strikes, it’s important to know that we’re scared, unhappy, and feel incredibly embarrassed sometimes. Anxiety can hit us at any time, anywhere. We could be having a great time and all of the sudden–bam–we’re hit with a wave of anxiety and it feels as though we’re struggling to get to the surface of the water we’re drowning in.

It’s not ideal for us to get anxiety when we’re out on a date, having fun. It’s a burden when we’re with friends and we need to leave early. And, it totally sucks when we get hit with an anxiety attack while we’re on a trip together. Instead of getting annoyed and frustrated with us–practice patience. Katharina Star, PhD says that:

When dating a person with panic disorder, it is best to remain patient when your partner is faced with panic attacks and anxiety. Let them know that you are there for them and that you have their safety and welfare in mind.

Giving us time to regather ourselves, our thoughts, and our minds is always appreciated.

9. You can’t tell her to just “calm down.”

Telling someone with anxiety to just “calm down” is something that universally is looked down on. By saying this when your partner’s anxiety is really bad, you give them the notion that you’re belittling their disorder and downplaying it. It shows her that you don’t realy care that they’re going through something this hard and, that you think it’s preventable. In reality, it’s just not. Jennifer Rollin MSW, LCSW-C  points out that telling someone with anxiety to calm down is amongst four things you should never say to them.

Telling someone with an anxiety disorder to “calm down,” is akin to telling someone with allergies to “stop sneezing.” Mental illnesses are not a choice. No one would choose to feel paralyzing levels of anxiety, and if the person was able to control their anxiety, they would. Telling someone to “calm down” is invalidating to the person who is struggling and insinuates that they are deciding to have their anxiety disorder. Instead, try asking the person what you can do to support them. It could be beneficial to ask the person this question when they are relaxed, rather than waiting until they are in a state of heightened anxiety.

8. She’s going to need reassurance. Give it to her.

Many women who have anxiety experience moments of overthinking and stress. We wonder if you’re still all-in with us, even when we’re at our worst. When our anxiety gets really bad, we think that you’re going to run for the hills–even if you’ve never dropped hints of this at all. It will become annoying and be aggravating for you when she asks question after question, but understand she’s looking for some sense of control. She wants to feel as though she has control over her own life and what is happening and, giving her the answers she’s seeking can help her regain that control and confidence.

7. Listen. Listen. Listen.

No matter how much you think you know about your partner, there may be things you have no idea about. Certain times, they may look as though they’re completely fine but on the inside, they’re going through a war. The best thing you can do in a relationship when your partner has anxiety is always listen to what they have to say. And, don’t just half-listen, trying to prove to her or anyone else that you are doing the right thing–really listen. And, when she’s ready, asking the right questions to understand her anxiety better will help you both in the long run. Joel L. Young M.D. points out that by asking the right questions, you’ll be able to truly understand your partner and her relationship to her condition better.

If you want to know something, ask your loved one first, and then be sure to intently listen to his or her answer. Some questions to ask include:

-Is there anything I can do to help you with this diagnosis?
-What’s it like for you to have this condition?
-How do you feel about the treatment options available to you?
-Does having a diagnosis make you feel better or worse?
-Is there anything you think I need to understand about the challenges you face?

6. You can’t get angry at her because of her anxiety.

Sometimes, your partner’s anxiety will make you angry and upset because there’s no way you can truly stop it and make it disappear. But, no matter how upset or angry you get–you can’t get mad at her for having anxiety. You can be mad at the situation, but you can’t attack her based on your desire to make her better. Barbara Markway Ph.D. points out:

This can be a difficult distinction to make, but it’s important. Attacking a person’s character or personhood can further damage shaky self-esteem. Perhaps you’re angry that once again, you’re attending the employee picnic alone, or not going at all. Your partner is fearful around large crowds of people and is not far enough along in treatment to go even for a little while. It’s natural for you to feel angry or even resentful. After all, you’re missing out on a lot of fun and the company of someone you care about.

Instead of getting angry, experts say communicating with your partner is best and addressing how the situation makes you feel–after you’ve had time to cool off.

5. You should remember it’s not personal.

When your partner constantly asks you questions over and over and looks at the relationship for reassurance and comfort, it can feel as though you’re the cause of the anxiety. Other times, your partner may be angry and frustrated at the situation in general–having anxiety all of the time can become exhausting. Realize, first and foremost, it’s nothing personal. Licensed therapist, Kayce Hodos says that it’s never personal.

“Anxiety can [also] often manifest as anger or frustration, but don’t assume he or she is upset with you. The biggest challenge you’re likely to face is feeling frustrated that you can’t fix it. You can offer support, but your partner is responsible for managing their symptoms, which can range from emotional responses, such as intense worrying and fear, to physical sensations, such as headaches or nausea. Hopefully, your partner has a good therapist, and you may need to find one, too. After all, you both need to be taking care of yourselves for your relationship to be healthy.”

4. It’ll help if you do some research.

The best thing someone can do if they don’t experience or have anxiety themselves is do their own research about the disorder. There are thousands of online articles, books, and resources that you can look over just to get an idea. According to Barbara Markway Ph.D.:

Anxiety disorders can be tricky because your partner may “look” perfectly normal at the same time they’re telling you they’re having a panic attack. This might cause you to minimize what your partner is going through. “Oh, you’re fine,” or “Just relax,” won’t be particularly helpful or well-received comments. Reading reputable books or information on the Internet can help you realize that anxiety disorders are very real, and fortunately, also treatable. See the Resources at the end of this post for places to get started.

3. But, you should know not all anxiety is the same.

While there is a ton of information on anxiety available to you online and in stores, it’s important to remember that no two people are exactly the same. While some anxiety symptoms are pretty universal and many people go through similar struggles–your partner’s anxiety may be completely unique and different for her. She may experience panic attacks differently than someone else, her triggers may vary, and she may have different ways of coping that work more so than others.

Although you should do some research online and know the signs, symptoms, and ways to help, realize that if it doesn’t work right away it’s not because of you, but maybe your partner just needs something different.

2. You should support her, but don’t suffocate her.

Showing support is important in terms of your relationship and helping your partner through her anxiety. However, don’t push her to talk and communicate if she’s not ready. Experts say that when your partner feels comfortable enough, she will come to you. Katharina Star, PhD points out:

Communicate to your partner that you are available to listen, but that you will not push them into discussing it until they feel ready. Additionally, do not bring up their disorder in front of others. Many panic sufferers chose to only tell trusted friends and family about their condition. It can cause embarrassment or other conflicts if you mention their struggle in a group setting.

Remember to be there, but not to put a label on your partner that she is only her anxiety.

1. You have to embrace solutions.

While you cannot necessarily “cure” your partner’s anxiety, you can help embrace positive solutions and suggestions to help make it better. This can mean a multitude of things. Doing things together that help her anxiety is one–like going to yoga or meditating together. Getting her a weighted blanket to ease her anxiety at night. Another is pushing her to go to therapy and speak to someone about her situation and condition. You can even suggest going to therapy together so that she sees you’re on board with supporting her and helping her through her anxiety. Experts say that couples therapy helps you both: 

Don’t be afraid to seek outside help for your relationship if warranted. This can be a good adjunct to the individual’s therapy for the anxiety disorder. Couples therapy promotes better communication skills, which can allow people to feel more at ease in a variety of typically anxiety-provoking situations. In addition, less stress at home creates a better environment in which to work on the treatment of an anxiety disorder.

Dating a girl with anxiety is hard, but here’s why it’s worth it.

Girls with anxiety are fierce, triumphant and cunning. They are unstoppable. They don’t accept failure as an option – they push themselves to reach every single goal they set. They are never truly at ease, they are never truly the calm that comes before the storm – they are the storm. They are the raging, thundering, fiery storm that rips through towns and leave their mark.

They are invincible. They are the girls who will change your life.

49 Quotes That’ll Soothe Your Anxious Mind

Sometimes when you feel anxious, it feels like there is no way you’ll feel better again. The walls feel like they’re closing in around you and no matter how deep you try to breathe, you can’t seem to calm down. If you know that feeling when you also know that there always is a way out of it, it just takes some time. So next time you’re in need of some soothing words to calm your anxious heart, take a look at these quotes.

1. The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. -– Robin Sharma

2. “Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.” —Oprah Winfrey

3. “Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” —Thích Nh?t H?nh

4. Once you accept, truly accept, that stuff will happen to you and there is nothing you can do about it, stress miraculously leaves your life. – Srikumar Rao

5.“The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.” —James Allen

6. “There are times when we stop, we sit still. We listen and breezes from a whole other world begin to whisper.” —James Carroll

7. In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” – Fred Rogers

8. “You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.” — Gautama Buddha

9. “Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” — Jonathan Lockwood Huie

10. “Breath is the power behind all things…. I breathe in and know that good things will happen.” —Tao Porchon-Lynch

11. Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process. – Anne Wilson Schae

12. Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find they haven’t half the strength you have. – Norman Vincent Peale

13. Don’t stumble over something behind you. – Unknown

14. “Calmness is the cradle of power.” —Josiah Gilbert Holland

15. “Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” —Hermann Hesse

16. The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. – William James

17. “Simply let experience take place very freely so that your open heart is suffused with the tenderness of true compassion.” —Tsoknyi Rinpoche

18. You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. – Unknown

19. The most decisive actions of our life… are most often unconsidered actions. – André Gide

20. Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answers. – William S. Burroughs

21. “Don’t try to force anything. Let life be a deep let-go. God opens millions of flowers every day without forcing their buds.” —Osho

22. Nothing will work unless you do. – Maya Angelou

23. The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it. – Sydney J. Harris

24. Stress is caused by being “here” but wanting to be “there.” – Eckhart Tolle

25. Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.–Hans Selye

26. “How beautiful it is to stay silent when someone expects you to be enraged.” — Unknown

27.  “Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.” – Buddha

28. It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.–Hans Selye

29. “You can only lose what you cling to.” – Buddha

30. How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then to rest afterward.–Spanish proverb

31. “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.” – Tao Te Ching

32. You believe that you live in the world, where in fact the world lives within you.–Deepak Chopra

33. “When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.” —Buddha

34. “Understand this and be free: we are not in our bodies; our bodies are inside us.” —Sean A. Mulvihill

35. “Never speak from a place of hate, anger, jealousy, or insecurity. Evaluate your words before you let them leave your lips. Sometimes it’s best to be quiet.” — Tony Gaskins

36. “Set peace of mind as your highest goal, and organize your life around it.” —Brian Tracy

37. “People tend to dwell more on negative things than on good things. So the mind then becomes obsessed with negative things, with judgments, guilt and anxiety produced by thoughts about the future and so on.” – Eckhart Tolle

38. “Many a calm river begins as a turbulent waterfall, yet none hurtles and foams all the way to the sea.” —Mikhail Lermontov

39. “Doing something that is productive is a great way to alleviate emotional stress. Get your mind doing something that is productive.” —Ziggy Marley

40. Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.–Paulo Coelho

41. “Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.” —Robert Eliot

42. Doing something that is productive is a great way to alleviate emotional stress. Get your mind doing something that is productive.” – Ziggy Marley

43. “Give your stress wings and let it fly away.” —Terri Guillemets

44. When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” – Winston Churchill

45. “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” —William James

46. “One minute of anger weakens your immune system for 4-5 hours. One minute of laughter boosts your immune system for over 24 hours.” — Unknown

47. “The day she let go of the things that were weighing her down, was the day she began to shine the brightest.” —Katrina Mayer

48. “When you let anger get the best of you, it brings out the worst in you.” — Unknown

49. “In the woods, we return to reason and faith. There I feel that nothing can befall me in life—no disgrace, no calamity (leaving me my eyes), which nature cannot repair.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

30 Things Anxious People Are Tired Of Being Anxious About

Those of us who are anxious can all agree that anxiety is one stubborn b*tch.

That being said, we’re over it because with anxiety comes a million things to be worried about and eventually, we get tired of being anxious about them because for once, we just wanna live:

 

What to say on the first date while we’re getting ready for it.

 

And if our date will be completely sane and not, you know…a serial killer or something.

 

Whether or not our symptoms are symptoms of that horrible disease we looked up on WebMD while waiting for the doctor to come in.

 

Being in the doctor’s office period.

 

Public speaking or giving a presentation in front of a huge group of people.

 

Our mind going completely blank while giving said presentation. 

 

Having panic or anxiety attacks at the wrong place, at the wrong time.

 

 

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