Category: Funny True Stories

23 Of The Most Ridiculous Things Roommates Stole From Each Other

Anyone who has ever lived with roommates knows it can be a gamble. Most people have at least one horrible ex-roommate story to tell and if they don’t, it might be because they were the horrible roommate.

Some roommates are messy, some are loud, some are late on rent, and the worst ones aren’t afraid to steal from you. At least, that’s what these people discovered and they’re telling Whisper all about the weirdest things they discovered missing after a roommate left.

1. But why?

2. That’s just messed up.

3. Well, time to treat yo’ self to a trip to Sephora and send them a bill.

4. What kind of a prank is that?

5. I would be too.

6. This roommate should really sue.

7. For soda?

8. Who would do such a horrible thing?

9. Tell the doctor.

10. Honestly, who steals a fork?

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11. Jokes on her.

12. What goes around, comes around.

13. Call the police, seriously.

14. Wow, just wow.

15. Whoa there, that might be a little too far.

16. That sucks.

17. Who does that?

18. Ewwww.

19. Kick her out.

20. They’re like $1!

21. Nicely played.

22. Damn, that’s rough.

23. Nah, good job sir.

21 People Share The Most Cringeworthy Texts They’ve Sent While Drunk

Sending drunk texts has become somewhat of an art since the advent of modern-day texting. I mean, it’s never been easier to proclaim your drunken lust for someone with an eggplant emoji and side eye. But sometimes, our drunken technological endeavors turn out horribly wrong.

We’ve all accidentally sent a text to someone who it wasn’t meant for. It’s especially awkward when that text is a recounting of your girlfriend’s amazing blow job that she gave you earlier that now sits on your mother’s phone in shame and disgust. There’s just not a lot you can do to come back from that, bro.

So whether you texted your boss at 4:32 a.m., pissed drunk, telling him that you want to impregnate him, or when you sloppily declared how horny were to grandma — there’s nothing like waking up in the morning, head pounding, and realizing the sh*t storm that you and your iPhone have caused.

These are 21 of the worst drunk texts that people have sent:

1.

Ate 3 boxes of peeps on Easter and took the nastiest shit. Tried texting a pic to my group of guy friends but instead sent it to the girl I had been dating for 3 weeks. 2 years later she still brings it up.

2.

“Alright, well I won’t be in. Consider this my resignation.” Sent to my boss (of the job I absolutely love) two days ago. Some-fucking-how, I got my job back.

3.

My dick is yearning to break out of its denim prison.

4.

I once spent a long drunk night declaring my undying love via text message to my friend Marcus, who was alphabetically right next to my girlfriend Molly in my contacts list. I just remember getting really angry and confused that she was acting all weird and sending messages like “dude, you know this is Marcus right?”

5.

Told my boss I’m not going to work the next day because I’m piss drunk with his daughter.

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The Internet Is Obsessed With This 9-Year-Old’s Genius ‘New Yorker’ Cartoon Captions

The Internet has chosen a new favorite comedian— and she’s only nine years old.

Screen and comedy writer Bess Kalb provided the world with a shining beacon of light in the swamp that is Twitter by tweeting out New Yorker cartoons captioned by her cousin’s nine-year-old daughter, Alice.

Kalb’s photos of the quippy one-liners quickly went viral, and once you read them you’ll have no trouble understanding why. “Everything is terrible but my cousin’s 9-year old daughter Alice has been quietly and masterfully slaying the @NewYorker’s caption contest and it’s pure delight,” Kalb wrote.

I know what you’re thinking, but the word “perfect” is actually an under- not an overstatement.

“(She’s freaking out with joy at your comments – I’m sending the screenshots to her mom),” tweeted Kalb. “Vintage Alice from 2017. I think you’ll like her earlier work. (She asked for a collection of EVERY cartoon with the real captions removed.)”

Unsurprisingly, folks went wild for Alice’s brilliant New Yorker captions.

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Kalb wrangled her viral tweet into a larger message and societal call to arms: encourage and support girls to be funny. She mentions how social ‘norms’ for the longest time dictated that girls simply had no right to be funny, citing writers of several popular comedy television shows as examples.

She notes how important it so to remember that young girls have literally everything going against them– sometimes even their own families or teachers. And how boys don’t like to be less funny than girls, leading many to quell their inner humor and comedic prowess.

Amen. While white men make room for women in comedy, we’ll be reading Alice’s forthcoming autobiography: Well, That’s New.

14 Groupies Who Fucked Musicians And Told Us Everything About It

   

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