31 Hilarious Tweets Every Single One Of You Will Feel On A Deeply Spiritual Level

If you ever feel alone in this world, remember that we’re all basically the same. Many of us have the same insecurities, desires, fears, and dreams. Many of us casually hate ourselves, behave in gnarly manners when unattended, and perpetually feel like a 14-year-old. Most of us are terrified of the future, and awkward, and weighed down by baggage, and haven’t had a proper night’s sleep in what feels like a decade.

Most of us are every one of these tweets, personified.

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h/t BuzzFeed

Guy Creates A Hilarious Guide To Navigating Women Based On Their Nails And It’s Way Too Real

When you begin dating a woman, it’s hard to know everything about them. It takes months before you realize that you’re dating a stage five clinger, and it’s time to GTFO of the relationship entirely. By then, you’re already wrapped up in the chaos of the craziness and somehow, you end up trapped in this tornado of drama and scandal. But, what if guys were to tell you that from a distance, you can learn all you need to know about a potential female companion based on her nails and her nails alone?

While it may seem a bit crazy to imagine, one Twitter user is here to tell you—no my friends, it is possible. Rocky decided to go through all of the time, effort, and research to create, what he is calling, “Nails At First Sight: Survival Guide 101.” It’s obviously and not very discretely created for his “bros.”

The video starts out with Rocky describing that colors are extremely important in deciding if a woman is “safe” or “dangerous.” From the very first page, Rocky gives over a dozen colors that indicate a woman is safe. The colors are neutral, light pinks and grays. But, he indicates that a woman who has white nails, dark nails, or a french manicure may be dangerous—so, take caution.

Twitter

Rocky moves on to let everyone know that bright, neon colors are a warning sign to run in the complete opposite direction. Lime green, bright red, yellow, and orange are warning signs that this girl is on the crazy train. He says to make sure you have both health and life insurance to keep up with this kind of girl.

Twitter

If you thought this was enough—don’t worry, he keeps going. Next, Rocky explains that shapes are equivalent to a woman’s mood. He goes through every single kind of shape a woman has, indicating that stiletto nails, mountain peaks, and arrowheads mean women are violent and aggressive.

Twitter

Twitter Thread Proves That Giving Up On A Good Girl Will Haunt You Forever

Many times in life, it so happens that we meet people at the wrong time. Even if two people are destined to be together, if it’s not the right time, things just won’t work out. Think of it this way—how many times have you dated someone that was in a completely different stage of their life (emotionally, mentally) and because of this, you could never see eye-to-eye? Maybe you wanted to move forward—get married, start a family—and your partner was too busy clubbing and bar-hopping every weekend.

Well, I hate to break it to you, but when you aren’t ready for the “right one,” the right one won’t wait around for you. So often, people think that “true love will wait,” but, that’s unrealistic and a bunch of fairy tale garbage. To prove it, I bring you Twitter user Rev Rell, who shared a story of her friend who lost a good girl forever.

https://twitter.com/awkward_duck/status/1099355425504456704

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People online were applauding the thread, thanking her for being so real and honest, and sharing their own experiences that this is—indeed—facts.

https://twitter.com/HarlemMC/status/1099374409666711552

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Ariana Grande Fans Are Actually Trying To Convince People To Boycott ‘7 Rings’

Ariana Grande has had a pretty successful year so far. From the release of chart-topping ‘Thank U, Next’ to ‘7 Rings’, the 25-year-old is having no trouble making a name for herself in the music industry.

It might surprise you, though, that Grande fans are currently boycotting her second number one hit, ‘7 Rings’. But don’t worry it’s all for a good cause.

It’s no secret that Ariana Grande has been killin’ it lately.

The 25-year-old superstar snagged her first number one single in the US with popular breakup anthem, ‘Thank U, Next’.

And in a matter of months, she scored another top spot with hit track ‘7 Rings’ which has been sitting at number one for three weeks.

So, we were a little surprised to find out that fans have been hell-bent on boycotting the song.

https://twitter.com/needynic/status/1095095052727140357

At first, we assumed there was some political motivation, but it turns out that fans are actually trying to help Grande break a record.

https://twitter.com/needynic/status/1095095781256847360

According to Billboard, only 33 songs have spent their first week on the chart at number one and only a handful of stars are listed twice including Ariana Grande.

If Grande can score a third first-week chart-topper, she’ll be the first artist in history to do so.

Hence, the boycott. Fans are hoping that by skipping ‘7 Rings’, Grande can break the record.

https://twitter.com/nationswhore/status/1095848083173400576

And they’re pretty serious about it.

https://twitter.com/salvatorerings/status/1095216659931885568

https://twitter.com/Lorenza_Zanaga/status/1095862866815664129

Of course, it wasn’t long before Grande caught wind of the boycott but she had a good sense of humor about it.

https://twitter.com/ArianaGrande/status/1095841462875353088

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And now we wait until next week to see if it actually worked.

h/t BuzzFeed

19 Jokes You’ll Relate To If You Want To Be Reincarnated As A Bath & Body Works 3-Wick Candle

If you’re like me, the best gift you can ever receive is a candle from Bath & Body Works. There’s something about those candles—no matter how much they cost, how much shipping may be, you need that good, good scent to fill your home. For some girls, it’s not a hobbie—it’s a lifestyle.

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Girl Scout Remixes Cardi B’s ‘Money’ To Help Sell Cookies And It’s Super Hot Fire

As you all know, it’s officially Girl Scout Cookie season—so no matter where you go, no matter how hard you try to diet, you can’t hide from those delicious Thin Mints. Every year, the scouts try to find new and exciting ways to make money—like, the one time a bunch of troop members sold cookies outside of a medical marijuana store…brilliant.

This year, one Girl Scout has found a dope way to spread the word that she’s trying to make her troop some money—by remixing Cardi B’s “Money” and having it go viral on social media. Kiki, a Girl Scout, was filmed doing a remix to the song, adding in some flavor with her favorite cookie flavors. Honestly, I like this version better than the original.

The organization shared that “Black Girl Magic” is important to them and their entire organization because it represents strength and determination.

People online were feeling this remix—so much so that they can’t stop bumping it.

https://twitter.com/xKhari/status/1092164801206407168

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Kiki wrote on her landing page:

“Selling Girl Scout Cookies has taught me to work as a team to set our troop goals for cookie season. With our cookie earnings, my troop and I plan activities year-round and do important things to help our community. With this year’s cookie earnings we will Troop activities and community service projects. Please support my sale so we can reach our goals. Thank you!”

Thanks to Kiki’s video, she has exceeded her goal in sales this season. We stan a real icon.

30 Jokes About AirPods That Are So Dang Funny And So Dang True

Apple’s wireless AirPods have become synonymous with wealth, whether real, imagined, or flexed. Their popularity, spurned in no small part by social media, made them a highly coveted item on Christmas lists worldwide.

And so, because we are all trash, “AirPods for Christmas” started trending on Twitter, birthing dozens of jokes and memes making fun of AirPod users. They quickly became a faux-status symbol of the “elite,” implying that only rich people can afford them. (They run at $175, which isn’t cheap, but isn’t outrageous compared to other wireless brands.)

All jokes aside, though, I wouldn’t mind a pair myself…

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This Viral Siri Phone Hack Video Is The First Straight Fire Jam Of 2019

Every so often, a piece of groundbreaking work comes along and changes your understanding of art and the world around you. I am pleased to report that this has already happened, just one day into 2019!

It comes to us in the form of a video, in which a man can be heard asking Siri, “What’s one trillion to the tenth power?” and to which Siri replies by saying, “one trillion raised to the tenth power is one zero zero zero…” (She proceeds to say ‘zero’ 120 times, presumably, though it doesn’t actually matter because the only thing that matters is the sick beat dropped by two pen-wielding dudes over her voice.)

Honestly it’s way cooler than it sounds and you should waste no time in watching, right now:

People were straight up impressed with this finessing of what turned out to be a low-key banger.

The Siri hack prompted some to record and share their own remixes, like this hot fire Punjab remix:

Or this spoon-led beat:

Non-iOS users be warned: don’t try to buy yourself some of this free happiness, as it doesn’t work on other devices. The rest of us will be out here boppin’ to Siri until 2020.

This New ‘Bachelor’ Contestant Faking An Australian Accent Is Either Crazy Or Crazy Like A Fox

After the dramatic conclusion to Becca’s love story and a whole whirlwind of nonsense on last summer’s Bachelor In Paradise, the die-hard fans of Bachelor Nation have been eagerly awaiting the reality series’ 23rd season starring former Bachelorette contestant Colton Underwood.

The show will officially premiere on Monday, January 7th, but like always ABC is giving viewers a little taste of what’s to come. Among the handful of new contestants showcased in the preview, is a woman who introduces herself with a fake Australian accent in hopes of standing out. Needless to say, fans are beside themselves.

ICYMI, the latest season of The Bachelor (number 23 to be exact) is starring former contestant Colton Underwood.

@coltonunderwood

Let’s just say, Colton is not unfamiliar with The Bachelor universe. The self-proclaimed virgin and former athlete appeared as a contestant on Becca’s season of The Bachelorette and had an on-again-off-again relationship with Tia Booth on last summer’s Bachelor In Paradise.

ABC recently released a teaser clip featuring a handful of contestants on the upcoming season. One of whom is a 24-year-old model from Los Angeles named Bri.

ABC

Her bio reads, “A model from Southern California, Bri is much more than just a pretty face. She played soccer for eight years, enjoys hiking and camping, and loves to hit the snowboard slopes. Her biggest dating fear? Farting too loudly.”

When she meets Colton, Bri introduces herself with an Australian accent.

Contestants will pull all kinds of stunts to get a Bachelor’s attention, but faking an accent is definitely one we haven’t seen before.

And Colton is clearly pleased.

ABC

In the next shot, however, Bri admits to the crew that she’s not actually Australian and only said so in hopes of standing out from the other women.

ABC

Wowza.

Needless to say, fans of the show are losing it.

https://twitter.com/lukeoneil47/status/1081200759256031241

And there are lots of questions.

https://twitter.com/CarolineMoss/status/1081203343425527813

But many people are actually rooting for Bri.

I wonder what Chris Harrison has to say about this…

15 Women Who Made Us Pee Our Pants Reading Twitter This Week

It’s that time of the week again, the time when we pull together all of the most hilarious tweets from the women of Twitter and share them with you.

So, sit back and enjoy some of the funniest jokes made by ladies this week.

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