We all think we want the complicated, mysterious “bad boy” as a boyfriend. We think we want the perplexing guy. Ask him questions and all of his answers are vague and challenge the very construct of the question itself. He’s the guy who pulls a 180 when everything is going great and tells you he’s in a very difficult time in his life. He says stuff like, “I just can’t…I need space, I like you so much but this is very overwhelming for me. I like you too much, I’m scared?
In reality, that guy is just an egotistical douche. After you constantly bend over backwards and put your feelings aside—because, you know, his inner world is so deep and complicated—you realize that the rush of the drama gets old fast when stress and instability started to swallow your happiness.
A real epic love is the guy who puts you first and doesn’t do things that hurt you, period. Basically, he’s the Unicorn Boyfriend, a mythical creature that we’re all looking for:
1. He doesn’t play games. He doesn’t say anything to you with the intention to instill a hidden meaning. He’s a straightforward man, who says what he means and means what he says.
2. A good boyfriend never pulls a 180 because he would never risk losing you.
3. He’s always honest with you. In the beginning, you might question his intentions because you’re not used to such sincerity, but quickly you realize that he’s this genuine because he cares.
4. He doesn’t make excuses. There’s never going to be a, “but baby I’m so depressed…I contacted all those girls because of I’m…depressed..” He never puts his issues on you, and would never use his issues as an excuse to treat you poorly.
5. The people who are important to you are important to him. Your mom, dad, best friend – he not only goes out of his way to help you in any way he can but people that are close to you, too.
6. He finds sexiness instability.
7. A good boyfriend never adds stress, there’s just emotional support. He would never bring you complications because all he wants is to bring you laughter and make your life easier.
8. Whether or not he’s in a difficult time in his life, he always puts in the effort that it takes to be with you. No matter what, he comes through for you and you know you can depend on him.
9. He doesn’t call you names or degrade you. No matter how passionate you two are, that never leads to him cursing at you, ever.
10. You don’t have to work to be happy together. In a world where everything is so complicated, happiness is simple and, trust me, so is love.
11. A good boyfriend likes when you challenge him. When you get jealous or hurt, he doesn’t say you’re too much drama or that you’re controlling and demanding; he doesn’t tantrums.
12. If he upsets you, he takes responsibility for his actions, figures out a way to never let it happen again and actually follows through with it.
13. He’ll always let you have the last slice.
14. He makes other girls jealous of you and not vice versa – he never puts himself in a situation that leads some girl on and hurt you, because your feelings are his first priority.
15. He’s laid back and positive. He’s the man you want next to you in any stressful situation because you’re recharged by his positive energy.
16. A good boyfriend respects your independence and does everything he can to help and encourage you to grow into the fullest, strongest, fiercest version of you.
17. He will patiently listen to you while you speak your mind and he won’t negate your concerns with his honest feedback.
18. He can make you laugh in literally any situation, and doesn’t mind making a fool of himself if it means getting a smile out of you.