Online dating has allowed busy people an option to speak with and potentially date more people without the extra effort and time.
However, with the advent of online dating apps, there have been new problems to solve.
Due to the superficial nature of online dating, we now have to deal with a lot more scammers, superficial conversations as well as people who aren’t serious about getting to know us.
Here are three glaring reasons why you get ghosted by men in online dating.
1: The Conversation Was Consistently Boring.
Since online dating is by nature more superficial, your conversations have to spark feelings of emotional attraction and romantic tension in order to inspire anyone to feel excited to continue dating you.
This means that if you want to make real connections with men online, you cannot afford to engage in small talk. As D.Shen, author of Commitment Triggers says:
“Small talk kills conversations. Small talk is the worst thing you could do when conversing with a man you’re either dating or just met. There is no value in small talk. Sure, small talk or pillow talk is nice and sweet when you’ve been together a couple of years…but in the early stages, it has no value. Information carries no value.”
Instead, you need to lead with playful banter. Playful banter will allow you to stand out from the sea of women online, and let you open the door for connecting with men emotionally, rather than superficially like most other women would be doing.
Not to mention, it helps create a feeling of romantic tension. Romantic tension is a feeling of positive anticipation and mystery – a sense of uncertainty that’s good.
Assume that if you don’t have romantic tension in your interactions with men, then it’s a lot easier for men to ghost you. Learn more about creating romantic tension and emotional attraction in this article on Commitment Triggers.
2: He Saw You As The ‘One Of Many’ Woman, Not The One And Only.
As Renee Wade, Author of The Feminine Woman writes,
“Men would only go all in with their investment in the relationship with you as a woman if you were the one and only. When you’re the one and only, they’ll give you absolutely everything. However, if you’re a woman who is in his ‘one of many’ basket, then it’s much easier for him to ghost you.”
So how do you become the one and only? Start by making sure that the men you date feel an emotional connection with you, and are attuned to you. In order to know whether he’s attuned to you, you should test him in the early stages of dating.
What do you test him for?
You test him for his…
3: He Was Never Actually Interested in Connecting With You.
See, as women we have a bias of mistaking attention for genuine interest – and sometimes we even mistake it for love.
Just because a guy is saying all the right things, doesn’t mean he’s attuned to you, wants to get to know you, or is even remotely interested in connecting with you.
In order for a guy to stick around, he has to actually be the kind of guy who connects with your soul. He has to be genuine in his intent – rather than being another one of those guys who chat because they’re bored, or because they want to collect sexy pics of women.
Summary And Conclusion
If you want to stop being ghosted by guys, you must do the following:
1: Use banter to build romantic tension and interest.
2: Make sure you test whether he’s treating you as the ‘one of many’ type of woman.
3: Ensure that he’s the type of guy who is dating in order to actually connect with you! If he’s just dating to pass the time or to get some female attention, he needs to be weeded out of your dating pool. That also helps you lower the chances of being ghosted and inevitably getting hurt by men.