Red Red Wine
There’s nothing in this world quite so beautiful as a glass of red wine.
Red wine is how classy people get sh*t faced.
One glass of red wine per day is for your health…
The rest of the bottle is just because you like being drunk.
“Dieting” has never stopped you from drinking wine.
And anyone who questions your relationship with red wine can just go f*ck themselves.
Because wine is the only boyfriend you’ll ever need.
Relationship status: me and a glass bottle of red wine.
You know that one glass of red wine is basically the same thing as one hour at the gym.
Isn’t that common knowledge?
You’ll never cry over spilt milk…
But you know that it’s completely legit to cry over spilt wine.
If anyone tells you that it’s too early to be drinking a glass of wine…
Immediately defriend them, and block them on Facebook.
When you decide to cook with red wine…
You just end up drinking it all, and having nothing to eat for dinner…
Yeah, you’re classy like that.
Red wine makes you feel warm and cozy…
And it’s always there for you when you ugly cry about a stupid boy.
When you go shopping, it’s really hard to have patience for someone who thinks that 4 people can share one bottle of red wine.
Like, the bottle:person ratio is 2:1 normally, right?
We have too much wine…
Said no one ever.