From the moment the pregnancy is announced to the moment the baby is born, expecting a new addition to the family is an exciting time – not just for parents, but for people around them as well. While it is a joyous period, it’s also a time that parents feel overwhelmed and in need of help. Whether you’re an immediate family member or a friend looking to offer support, here are five ways to help new moms and dads after the baby arrives.
Offer new parents help…without them asking you first
Once they welcome the newborn to their home, it can be easy for parents to simply assume they need to tackle everything by themselves. This is why it’s important that friends and family offer help beforehand and be specific about it.
Ask if they need help with the dishes, do a load of laundry, or bring the diapers their baby uses. Better yet, consider what their needs may be and take action before they even get the chance to ask. It’ll be of tremendous help during those first days after the baby arrives since they tend to be the toughest.
Give advice…when they ask for it
Friends and family often mean well when they put their two cents in. While they may think they’re helping, oftentimes these pieces of advice may come across as insulting. Whatever your opinion on topics such as sleep training or breastfeeding, it’s best to withhold it. On the other hand, if the parents ask what you think, feel free to share your thoughts.
Also, give recommendations if they ask for some. For instance, you can refer them to a reputable breastfeeding consultant that can help them tackle the tricky task of nursing. You can also recommend a doula you know or a good pediatrician they can rely on or a breastmilk storage chiller in case they are having difficulty in direct feeding. As long as the advice isn’t unsolicited, any handy tips will be of great value to new parents.
Help…with the other kids
Adjusting to the newborn’s needs is tough, even more so when there are other siblings involved. Couples with older children struggle too, and a baby’s arrival can make for a huge shift when it comes to maintaining other kids’ routines. This is especially true when the age gap between children is rather small. Therefore, one of the best things you can do to help out is to take care of the other siblings.
Take on the task of picking older siblings up from school or driving them there. Or, take younger kids for playdates while the mom and dad take care of the little one. It’ll free up their time while also eliminating guilt.
Show interest…in their new roles as parents
Becoming a parent brings its own set of challenges, one of which has to do with a couple’s identities. It’s a real rollercoaster of changes – physical, emotional, and psychological ones – all of which can change a person’s identity. This is why a lot of new parents feel confused and lost when they embark on the parenting journey. They aren’t sure who they are anymore, let alone what they should do.
One of the best ways to show emotional support in these tough times is to express interest in their roles. Ask about their day, take them out for a coffee, and let them vent. Most importantly, adjust your expectations and don’t be judgemental. Share some fun time together, but be there when it gets difficult, too.
Just be there… and listen
Sometimes all new parents need is someone to listen to them. Parenting can be tough, and many moms and dads start to feel isolated after the baby arrives. Helping them out can be as simple as just being there, present, and ready to listen – in a non-judgmental way.
Whether that means letting the dad vent or having the mom share her birth experience, just be with them. On the other hand, if you sense that the parents want their space, let them have it. Not everyone is the same, so try to tune in to the new parents’ needs and feelings – and respect them.
Wrapping up
Parenthood is an exciting journey, but also a complex process. It requires a lot of support and compromise from both parents, as well as the people around them. While it can be challenging, if everyone does their best to help out, it can make the transition much easier. Follow the tips above and you will manage to make the baby’s arrival much less stressful and far more enjoyable.