A few months ago when my step daughter asked me if she could call me her step mom I was flattered that she saw me as a mother figure and, of course I said yes. She asked if she could call me mom and I said no because she has a “mom” and I’m more of a bonus parent, so we decided she would just call me by my name. Her and her brother called my girls their sisters and knew we were a family. That all changed because of one spiteful conversation she had with her birth mom. And let me tell you it broke not only my heart but my girls’ hearts too.
YES I call them mine and NO you can’t change that. We are not married but does that change the fact that I love them as much as I do my own? I mean, should it? Should it matter that another person came into your children’s lives and is doing what they can to help raise them instead of pushing them away like I’ve seen so many times before. Should it matter that I care about them enough to take pictures that capture memories and show them to my friends and family because they are amazing kids? Would you rather I pretend they are not apart of my family like they’ve been taught to believe?
You should take it as a compliment, I know I did when I saw my girls were loved by another woman. As they should be, we did a great job raising our kids, they deserve to be loved as much as we love them ourselves.
But not you. You’d rather be petty.
Thanks to you’re jealousy my step daughter will no longer say ” I love you” to my girls’ or myself. She no longer believes our home and theirs. She no longer believes we are a family. In fact, she now thinks your family consists of only the people with the same last name as you. Thanks to your jealousy, My Step Daughter believes I’m just a woman who owns the house they sleep at while mommy is working.
My name might be on the lease, as is their dad’s, but I am much, much, MUCH more than the woman who’s house they sleep in.
I’m the woman who wakes them up in the morning, helps them get dressed and ready for the day.
I’m the woman who helps with homework and makes dinner.
I’m the woman who tucks them in and who gets up in the middle of the night to help him fall back asleep during his night terrors.
I’m the keeper of the board games and the reader of the stories.
I might be the discipline but I’m also the fun time.
I make the best mac and cheese and I’ve been told my pancakes are INCREDIBLE.
Everything I’ve ever done for my own children I do for them. Why? Because they are mine. Not by blood and maybe they are only half, or a quarter or whatever it may be, but they are still mine and I still love them.
I’ve said I love you every night and every morning and I will continue to do so despite your efforts to break our bond. Eventually they will both see that Mom loves them very much but Dad and Step Mom do too and just as much.