To My Friends Who Supported Me When I Was In A Dark Place

Thank you. I know it wasn’t easy for you to see me like that. Someone who once smiled brighter than the sun to a person who struggled to talk. I wasn’t the person I had been a week ago, and I know that it’s hard to understand how things can change overnight, but you did, and you didn’t question it. I was in a dark place filled with sorrow, pain, and self-loathing—so much self-loathing. I couldn’t understand why I was drowning, and the thought of coming back up for air was impossible. But you were there. You saw past the fake smiles and the “I’m okay” and listened when I dared to talk.

I kept waking up thinking that this would be the morning I felt like me again, but every morning that passed seemed to grow darker. Until one morning, I saw the light. To my disbelief, it wasn’t bright and seemed so far away, but it was there. It’s been two weeks, and three days since the moment I stopped being that girl. The girl that called her friends to check in, the girl that smiled at her neighbors she loathed, the happy-go-lucky ray of sunshine that saw past all the bad in life. I know two weeks and three days doesn’t seem like a long time, but it felt like an eternity to me. But you were there; you have always been there even when I didn’t feel worthy of that kind of friendship. It’s hard to believe that my own body and mind could handle that type of raw emotion, but it’s over now, and I’m ready to be me again. I won’t be the same girl I was before because that type of darkness changes you, but I’ll be a better version of myself. A version of myself that is courageous and strong. A version of myself swam to the surface towards the light and now breathes a fresher air. 

I don’t know how to thank you for the support you gave me during that time, but please know how grateful I am for your friendship. I am out of that dark place now.