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12 Absurd and Opulent Accessories Your Cat Totally Deserves

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I’m a cat person, mainly because cats are awesome. Forgoing the cloying loyalty of dogs, cats are smarter, sneakier, and generally more of a challenge to live with. Cats also don’t give their time or energy to just anyone—they are far more particular in choosing their company, regardless of who it is who actually feeds and shovels up after them. So why not reward our feline pals with some of the ridiculously expensive, needlessly opulent, or downright silliest cat products out there?

Cat House California. No, not that kind of cathouse. Some folks believe that since indoor cats are home 100% of the time, it’s actually their house. The folks in this vid, have decided to go all the way with that. They installed climbing shelves, twirly scratching posts, tall catwalks, and cut holes in the walls that groom cats as they walk through. Note: most the cats in this vid are named after food.

Wine. If you’re the sort who doesn’t like to drink alone, you’ll be delighted to learn that Japanese Nyan Nyan Nouveau is wine made especially for cats. No, it’s not fermented, and it doesn’t actually contain booze. But it may get your cat a little tipsy since it contains catnip. At only $4 a bottle, you and your cat can tie one on in style.

Rear Gear. Ever meet one of those people who think animals should wear pants so we can’t see their privates? Yeah, that’s dumb. But if it’s an issue that impacts your life, head on over to Etsy and get your cat (or dog) a flower shaped butt-cover. Really. Watch for the hilarious phrase: No More Mister Brown Eye. Gross.

Cat House Minnesota. California doesn’t have a monopoly on enthusiastic cat owners giving up their living space to their feline friends. This owner spent 15 years woodworking his home into a cat climbing paradise with lots and lots of cool hiding spaces.

Bling. Is your cat feeling dowdy due to a complete lack of sparkle and bling? DiamondDogs.com knows just how you feel. That’s why they offer a super-affordable (only $200) three row Swarovski crystal breakaway cat collar. Yeah, for that price, my cat is totally grounded if he loses it.

Blingy Surroundings. Maybe it’s not enough for your cat to look good. Maybe they deserve to be surrounded with luxury and opulence. If that sounds like your cat—you’re being positively remiss by not buying them this $1,500 Swarovski crystal cat flap. After all, even cats know that diamonds are not a girl’s best friend.

Spa Treatments. Is your kitty feeling stressed? Pucci and Catana offer a line of cat-focused spa products that are organic, all-natural, and presumably not tested on animals. Or are they? What cat doesn’t deserve a spa day?

Custom Mosaic Pet Palace. Why not spend $1,200 on a pet palace handmade from stones, dishes, cement, and fine mahogany wood? I have to admit, the artistry here is pretty impressive—but why should my cat live someplace nicer than me?

Icognito. Maybe your cat would rather not be a boring old cat. Maybe it prefers to look like a lion, tiger, or even a dragon. Daria Gotz, a pet salon owner can make your cat (or dog, if you’re into that) like almost anything with fancy haircuts and all natural dyes.

Space Travel? Every cat enjoys scratching posts, as well as climbing on things that are tall. So why not give them their very own Space Needle? No, I’m asking. For only $550, you might just want to get a pair of them.

A Better Bed than Yours. A lot of cat people don’t invest in cat beds for fear that they’ll go unused. How angry would you be if you spent $1,540 on a four-poster cat bed with a memory foam mattress covered with silk and satin bedding? Wanna find out? I have to admit, this is amazing.

Cat Tree Made from an Actual Tree. Cats love to climb trees, so they’d be thrilled to have one they can actually climb down from. Keep in mind that the nearly $1,300 price tag does not include shipping. And I don’t think Priority Mail will be up to the challenge. Still, I bet your cat totally deserves one.


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