Here’s what you need to understand about Facebook-stalkers.
We are not weirdos, okay? We just find it plausible to know a little more about someone than their actually letting on in the beginning by visiting their social media networks.
A coward’s game? No. A safety precaution? Absolutely.
We want to know it all! Are you single? Who are you dating? Why not me!?! All questions we’re absolutely afraid to ask in person that we must find out otherwise. It’s totally normal, and I know you’ve done it before yourself so don’t even give me that look!
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with “looking up” the guy next door or the girl you sat next to in class today because you were too shy to speak to them in person.
Eventually, you’ll have to stop sometime in the future and make a genuine effort to talk to this “someone” in real life—maybe.
But until that time comes, allow me to explain to you naysayers out there who’ve been criticizing us so heavily about FB-stalking why it’s actually not that creepy, given the following circumstances:
1. Because you needed to know if he/she is still single or not.
This one is a most important, and most legitimate reason to look over their profile from time to time.
How else are you going to know whether they’re even romantically available if you don’t look at his profile? We cannot go off of word of mouth here, people.
So yes, it’s totally okay to keep glancing back at their profile to see if they’ve finally broken things off with what’s his/her face.
2. Because they changed their profile picture.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting all excited over a profile pic update.
Considering you’ve been staring at the same image for the past three months, and you’re not necessarily Facebook friends with this person, so it’s the only way to gain some sort of access from the outside looking in.
Creepy? Nope. Rewarding? Most definitely. Which brings me to my next point.
3. Because OMG, their profile just went “public”!
If you’re a true fan of FB-stalking then you know all too well about the joyous moment when you realize the one you like has finally granted everyone public permission to view his/her profile.
Is it Christmas already? Because it sure feels like it.
4. Because you totally need to make sure he/she’s not an ego-maniac.
This is something we really need to know before actually pursuing someone. It’s vital.
We must know that the person we’re looking into is not some sort of narcissist behind closed doors because that would change the whole game.
You can really tell a lot about a person from their photos, which is why it’s so important that I sit here and scan through all 452 of them in privacy.
5. Because you want to like his/her FB status first!
Competition is stiff out here, but if you really wanna make yourself standout amongst their crowd of admirers then you need to be liking their statuses before everyone else.
Not every status of course, that’s going overboard. But you should be paying attention to the important ones though, the ones about their feelings and stuff.
A valid reason to keep that tab open to revert back to every 5 minutes or so. Or is that too long? Have I been doing it wrong the whole time?!
