#Sorrynotsorry; 10 Apologies That Aren't Really Apologies

An apology is supposed to mean something. It’s supposed to be an acknowledgment of wrong doing and a sincere attempt to make amends.

Nowadays however, an apology is apparently nothing more than a “get out of jail free card,” a way of glossing over an absences of tact (and often common sense) with a shallow attempt at placating the masses.

Here are some examples of pathetic attempts at “truth” wrapped in a “no offense” bow:

1. “Mistakes were made.”

This acknowledges the obvious without taking any actual responsibility. Mistakes were made, but not necessarily by the person apologizing, because they, of course, could never be wrong.  

2. “I’m sorry but…”

The next thing this person says will be hugely offensive and, most likely, ridiculous. But they included the apology right there in the sentence so…

3. “Not to be blunt but…”

This is the guy that swears he’s just being honest but is usually just being a rude doucehlord. Not to be blunt but your an a**hole.

4. “I apologize in advance if…”

Stop and think about this one for a sec. This person is telling you they’re about to say something they KNOW is going to upset you but they’re choosing to say it anyway. I can’t even…

5. “Sorry for being that guy but…”

But what? That guy who points out the obvious? That guy who only ever adds something crude or obnoxious to the conversation? We’re sorry you’re that guy too…

6. “My words were taken out of context.”

Nope. We understood you perfectly, we just think you’re an idiot.

7. “I’m sorry, I meant no disrespect when I said…”

Not only does this reinforce that fact that they don’t think they said anything wrong but it also implies that if you’re upset by what they said it’s YOUR fault cause, clearly they didn’t MEAN to be disrespectful…

8. “I’m sorry if my words could be misconstrued as (Misogynistic, homophobic, racist, etc) I’m totally not that kind of person.”

News flash, if you say things that are racist, misogynistic, homophobic, etc, you ARE that kind of person and the rest of us are judging you.

9. “Previously, I made an insincere remark on (insert social media platform here), I would like to apologize for any hurt feelings my statement may have caused.”

In other words, you’re sorry you got in trouble for saying something stupid.

10. “I apologize to all I have offended…”

Again, takes no responsibility and admits nothing. A complete waste of time. 

A REAL apology has three things: An expression of regret, personal responsibility, and a sincere desire to right the wrong, anything else is garbage.