By way of force and brutal colonisation we Brits have exported our language to a fair few countries around the world, whether they wanted it or not. As we’ve had so many extra years to perfect and add to our lexicon, we have some of the best words and phrases you are likely to ever hear.
To help you non-Brits out, I have compiled a short list of fantastically British expressions and terms the rest of the world needs to begin using:
- Wanker – A general dick head, best said loudly and proudly
- Wank – To masterbate
- Daft – Stupid or silly
- Kecks – Underwear, usually of the male variety
- Half-inched – Cockney rhyming slang for stolen. Half inched, pinched.
- Fag – Cigarette, NOT a gay man
- Pissed – Drunk
- Taking the piss – Making fun of someone in a playful way
- Pissing it down – Its raining. Hard.
- Knackered – Really fucking tired, no really, it literally means; ‘to be tired from fucking’
- Chav – A lady or gent of lower income who is generally hostile to others
- Kerfuffle – A fight, albeit a hilariously downplayed word for a fight
- Greasy spoon – A cheap diner where you can generally purchase breakfast or lunch
- Bollocks – Terrible, a right mess
- The Dogs Bollocks – Fantastic, creme de la creme, the best of the best
- A bollocking – To be reprimanded or told off in a severe manner
- Gutted – To be devastated, absolutely wrecked
- Cheeky – To push your luck and get away with it, someone who takes the piss
- A sticky wicket – a problem ranging from mild to catastrophic. The less dramatic you say it the bigger the problem is.
- Scouser – The scum of the earth (or someone from Liverpool)
- Mate – Buddy, pal, friend, acquaintance, stranger, enemy, bloke sitting next to you at the bar, person who is mugging you, basically everyone and everything
- Bloke – A guy, generally a manly man
- Bugger all – Nothing, ziltch, nada
- Cheers – Can be used to signal a toast, a way of saying thanks, or even signing off a message
- Chunder – When one has had too many alcoholic beverages and therefore has to empty the contents of one’s stomach into a porcelain throne
- Dodgy – Something that is not on the level, a little bit illegal or just not quite right
- Slap and tickle – To do the dirty, the beast with two backs, gland to gland combat. Fucking!
- Rubbish – Literally it means garbage, but its also a soft swear word to use in place of ‘shit’ when your round your mum’s house for Sunday lunch
- Sunday lunch – The one British dish that we’re proud of. A roast dinner that is consumed en masse by the British population every Sunday
- Brass monkeys – F-ing freezing, shortened from the phrase ‘it’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey’
- Brew – A cup of tea, and only a cup of tea, woe betide you if you use this phrase for coffee
