Them Twenties…

Remember when you couldn’t wait until you turned 18? And once you did, shit wasn’t what you expected? Same. Someone, anyone, should have warned us, prepared us, and mentioned key things to help us naive souls survive adulthood. Like:

 

1. Laundry mats are expensive as hell.

 

2. Your dinner is probably going to consist of Ramen Noodles and Spagettio’s. Every. Single. Night.

 

3. You’re going to wake up with your body making noises that make you sound like an advertisement for Rice Crispies cereal.

 

4. Birthday’s and Christmas’s become money less cards and lots of socks.

 

5. You’re going to have to schedule your own doctor appointments. Orrrr, just avoid it and hope you don’t die.

 

6. High school didn’t teach us useful shit, like how to file your taxes.

 

7. Oh, and you’re never going to use the Box and Whiskers Plot in anything in life. Ever.

 

8. Ice cream DOES NOT fix everything.

 

9. You’re going to pick wearing no pants instead of going out on a Friday sometimes.

 

10. You can’t get drunk as fuck like you used to without it taking two weeks, a whole pizza, an entire bottle of Advil, and six Gatorade’s to get over a hangover.

 

11. You’re always tired. Like when did you turn into a crippling, dying 80 year old so quickly?

 

12. And nap time becomes an important priority of the day.

 

13. Life Alert should be kept handy for all the times you fall for fuck boys. Which is a lot.

 

14. Love hurts. Literally.

 

15. Believing everyone is like believing Pinocchio.

 

16. Bills don’t magically pay themselves. And no, Monopoly money isn’t accepted as payment.

 

17. You’re going to contemplate at least 40 times a day if it’s worth being an adult anymore, but knowing you have to because you have a cat to feed.

 

18. Coping mechanisms are now alcohol, sarcasm, and a dark sense of humor,

 

19. You’re gonna tell yourself all the time that you’re going to bed early, yet finding yourself awake at 3 A.M., taking a quiz to find out ‘What kind of tree are you?’.