Chaos All the Way Down:

Addiction, Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, Suicide, and Anxiety as Told by a Pharmacist

I think everyone has a defining moment in their lives. Whether it is out of tragedy, out of triumph, or as a means of getting through adversity, there is a single moment in life that can change you for good. I’d say most people experience that in their adult life. I, on the other hand, had mine when I was just 4 years old. A favorite story of my mother’s to tell about me revolves around my first soccer game. Like most kids, I started playing soccer at a young age for “fun.”

Or that is what I am told most kids were most interested in; having fun and getting snacks after the game. I guess somewhere along the way, I didn’t get that memo. During my very first game, I’m told that I scored quite a few goals, something most kids could be proud of I think. However, I came off the field that day in tears. When I approached my mother, she proceeded to ask me why I was bawling. My simple response was “We suck.” At the tender age of 4,

I was already an addict. Not the sort of addict that was doing lines in the pre-k bathroom, but an addict nonetheless. I was addicted to being the best and winning at all costs. This became rather apparent early on in my life and applied in every area.