I want nothing more than to be the daughter who makes you smile the brightest,
The one you’re proud to brag to other people about how good I’m doing. But dad, it’s not that simple.
Those ‘good days’ come once in a blue moon when my depression isn’t completely and entirely suffocating me.
Because when my depression sets in, that girl you love so dearly disappears and you don’t understand why, but that’s not your fault. You don’t get that I can’t just dig deep inside and pull her back out. You don’t get how one day I can be laughing and be all talkative and the next I can barely fake a smile. But see dad, that’s what depression is.
Depression is being so consumed by sadness and feeling defeated that I can’t even remember what if felt like to be happy
And the worst part is, it makes me feel like I’ll never be happy ever again. It’s a really lonely feeling, one that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, and I hope to god you never experience even an ounce of what I’m going through.
See dad, that’s why when you get to see me sort of “down” I need you to stop telling me I’m just “in a funk.”