Depression isn’t something I can just snap out of, there’s no amount of milkshakes or bouquets of flowers that’ll just “pull me out of it.”
I know you don’t mean to belittle my mental illness, but that’s what it feels like. I feel empty and exhausted all the time and it feels like you’re just chalking it up to a bad day and hoping tomorrow will be better. And while that’s an understandable way to react, the odds that tomorrow will magically be better are slim to none.
I need help dad, I need medication and someone to talk to on my worst days. I need to know you love me unconditionally, but most of all I need you to be my reason to pull through. What I don’t need to hear is that my depression is “just a funk.”
My goal since I was young was to make you proud of me and right now, I know I’m disappointing you. I know I’m not making your days any better when you hear the melancholy tone of my voice over the phone and you see me walk through a room with my head hung low. But dad, I pray every day that my depression won’t last forever, I will get through this eventually.
I’ll be the woman you always knew I’d be, it’s just going to take me a little longer to get there. I’m going to get help, I’m going to fight this battle and come out on top no matter how long it takes.
But until I get there, I need you to try to understand this isn’t just a “funk” this is a mental illness. This is my depression and I need you to help me battle it.
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