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10 Reasons Why Vodka Is Better Than Water

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When it comes to vodka vs. water there really is no competition. It’s clear which one is the victor… it would just be nice if only drinking vodka didn’t kill you. It’s time for all of that human tech savyness to figure out this serious issue.

1. Vodka doesn’t go bad.

You can leave Vodka out for days or even months and it won’t stagnant or sour. Vodka is basically that one friend you know you can always rely on, even if you haven’t’ spoken for a while. Just picture your vodka handle now, patiently and lovingly waiting for you in the freezer.

Home is where your vodka is chillin’, amiright?

2. Vodka’s always there to pick you up.

Everyone has those days… You know, the one where you just wanna go and chug on as much vodka as you can to the point that your esophagus feels like it’s going to erupt in flames? Right. No matter what, vodka is going to pick up your spirits.

Water ain’t going to make you happy. All that chugging water is going to do is make you have pee, like, every 5 minutes. Thanks water.

3. It passes no judgement while it cheers you up.

Vodka seriously gives no sh*ts. 

Vodka don’t care. All vodka wants is you enjoying a healthy shot.. or two… or three… who’s counting anyway? Everyone knows that water is a judgemental little a**hole.

4. Vodka is the socialite of the liquid world.

Vodka goes well with orange juice, Red Bull, cranberry juice, and pretty much everything, except for water. Water doesn’t play well with others and just makes everything taste, well, watered down.  Water is basically the loner in the corner with no friends.

5. Vodka has, like, no calories.

Okay so it might have a little more than water but drinking water isn’t going to help you turn up for the night.

6. Vodka is a fighter.

Water goes down with basically no fight or resistance, but Vodka?. Vodka’s burn lets you know that you’re drinking something that deserves your respect. It lets you know that it packs a punch, and if you over do it it’ll definitely f*ck up your night.

7. Vodka makes you feel all warm and fuzzy.

With one quick shot of vodka you can feel warmth begin to trickle down your arms to fingertips. Two shots, and you’re practically set for a full force blizzard hurricane (praying those don’t actually exist). It makes sense why Russians love vodka so much.

8. Vodka comes in all different kinds of flavors.

Classic, ruby red, green apple, cinnamon, bloody mary, lemon, lime, the list is pretty much inexhaustible. But imagine different shades of water… that just sounds absolutely disgusting. We all know flavored water tastes like sh*t.

9. Vodka makes you feel sexy and confident.

You notice someone sexy across the room, and so you throwback a shot of vodka (maybe two). Now as you make your way across the room you have a little chorus in your head that cheers you on with every step as you waltz through the room to a Pitbull song.

10. Vodka and french fries are potato cousins.

You’re being healthy. Case definitely closed.  


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