11 Lies Introverts Tell Themselves When They Go Out

The life of an introvert is a relaxing one: we like our beds and our homes and our quiet little get-togethers.

But there are times where we feel left out – like life is going on without us. So our friends ask if we wanna go out with them. And we say yes.

And we regret every single fucking moment.

1. Going out to the bar with your friends is going to be the most fun you’ve had in forever!!!

So much better than sitting at home with your paintings and blanket forts…

2. Everything will be perfect! You’ll drink and dance and hang out together; it’ll be the perfect girls’ night.

You completely disregard all those other times you got left in the bathroom because they forgot you were there.

3. The loud music and drunken stumbling and the yesterday’s lunch smell is definitely your scene.

It’s the only scene, if you’re being honest. Who doesn’t love it when their shoes get stuck to the floor?

4. You’re gonna go all out tonight – order all the drinks and talk to all the people and put yourself out there.

You’re gonna sit at the bar with some fruity cocktail and pray for cellphone service.

5. When your friends ask you to dance, you’re gonna bust out all of your best moves and leave your mark.

When was the last time you danced? It might’ve been in front of your mirror, in your underwear.

6. That hot slice of man cake at the end of the bar has been making eyes at you – you’re totally gonna go talk to him.

Oh no, your legs suddenly don’t seem to be working, oh no, guess you can’t go talk to him, oh nooo.

7. So he decided to save you the trouble and come talk to you, this is your chance, you’re making moves.

No hablo Ingles.

8. It’s completely okay that you’ve lost every single one of your friends to the horde of drunken bar crawlers.

You’re a big kid now. You can take care of yourself. You haven’t been hiding in the bathroom for twenty minutes…

9. You are so proud of your BFF for finding the most attractive person in the place to drink and dance with.

It’s not like they invited you here or anything.

10. They look a little tired, you’ve just been having so much fun, you don’t want to leave, but it’s getting late.

They wanna stay? Cool. Great.

11. Forget it, you’re not going to be a party pooper; you’ll stay out as long as your friends want!

How much do you think an Uber would cost from here? Would it just be easier to walk?

You’ll be hanging out with a box of wine and a book if they need you.

Published by

Amanda Ramirez

A recent college graduate going after my MFA in writing, I use my skills to live-tweet movies and write dumb stories. I'm that person who squeals "DOG" whenever I see a dog. My hobbies include sleeping, going through my friends' refrigerators in NJ, and crying about superheroes. Twitter handle: heyhandymandy Facebook URL: https://www.facebook.com/mandasauraus

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