There’s waking up in the morning and then there’s staying awake in the morning.
It’s a pretty difficult thing to do, being a functional, walking and talking adult in the morning especially for people who aren’t early birds. Which is why caffeine can be the best thing ever. It’s like a magical boost.
Sometimes, however, caffeine isn’t always the best for you and it may not always be the best booster.
But fear not my fellow morning haters, there are alternatives to caffeine when need be:
- Seeing a spider on your wall because that would make even the toughest biker want to run out of their house.
- The toilet seat being left up because A. you almost sat in the toilet water and B. you just realized this and now you’re pissed.
- Trying to finish the chapter of a book before your stop. It almost becomes Amazing Race where you must finish this next sentence.
- Inconvenient delays on trains because your sarcastic anger raises your awareness.
- Your crush sending you adorable texts because feeling like you’re on cloud 9 makes you more alert and you have to think about what clever text you could reply with.
- Jogging to catch the bus because if you don’t catch this one…it’s over.
- The urge to destroy your alarm clock because no matter how many times you’ve hit the snooze button, it just won’t give in. Stubborn bastard.
- Accidentally hitting your toe on something and cursing up a storm because sh*t, did that hurt like a motherf*cker.
- The naked dude on the train, talking to a pole because it’s obvious that all the passengers woke up to this too.
- Nearly falling on your face after tripping on air and still feeling like the wind got knocked out of you.
- Seeing something hilarious on your way to work and trying to tell your co-worker about it, but you can’t because your laughing too much.
