If you travel often whether international or local, you’ve most likely seen annoying little beings called tourist. Hell, if you’re honest with yourself, you’ve probably been one (I know I have). But that doesn’t stop tourists and tourism in general from being insanely irritating.
With the concept of globalization being shoved into the enthusiastic faces of younger generations, these annoying types of tourists that became the bane of your side-eye during vacations (or on Instagram) have evolved:
- The “deep” tourists. This specimen can be found on Instagram or Tumblr. They’ll impersonate themselves as photographers (hence their usage of Instagram), and will take pictures of mountains, forests, or skyscrapers usually featuring themselves with their backs turn to the camera and their arms stretched out. The best part is when they’ll try to be incredibly deep with it, citing a quote from Ghandi or Virginia Woolf that has nothing to do with their photo or a short poem that makes no sense. We all know you weren’t paying attention in creative writing class.
- The peace sign tourists. The peace sign pose is said to have originated from Japanese school girls and like many poses out there, it got old really fast. But it doesn’t stop certain tourists from enthusiastically raising two fingers up in front of monuments like the Eiffel tower and certainly doesn’t stop it from looking corny. It’s time to stop the peace, guys.
- The “I love NY” t-shirt tourists. You’ve probably asked yourself “why?” every time you see this tourist while on a trip to India because well, last time you checked you’re not in New York. So why?
- The impatient tourists. They’re usually the people who think they’re so damn clever by skipping a long line and will have the audacity to act like you’re the dumb one. Like it’s your fault no one taught them how to stand in a line and wait patiently to go on the London Eye like a normal fucking person.
- The drunk tourists. The funny thing about these animals is that they’ll get drunk in the dumbest places. You’ll usually see them in fancy Chinese restaurants or outdoor restaurants in Ghana, a bunch of girls running between tables in messed up buns, talking rapidly in their language while staring at you like it’s the most adorable thing in the world. I can’t even.
- The sarcastic tourists. These ones are hard to spot. They look like regular tourists, taking photos here and there. But take a look at their Instagram and you’ll see just how pretentious and smartass they really are. They’ll make fun of monuments and memorials or do obnoxious poses in front of them. The worst ones are the ones who post sunny places and labeling them “I’m so cold.” I’m glad, asshole.
- The duck face tourists. Like the peace sign tourists, these ones (usually teenage girls) will pucker their lips every photo as if they were in a photo shoot instead of a village in the mountain. Extra points when they stick their derrieres out or lack of.
- The study abroad tourists. These tourists who are also students like to think of themselves as wanderers instead of tourists, but we all know they’re tourists. Sorry to burst your label, but wanderers don’t attend large bus tour guides or record their grocery store adventures on their smart phones. So yeah, you’re a tourist. Deal with it.
- The stop and stare tourists. These are the tourists that make it so painfully obvious that they’re tourists. They’ll openly star with their mouths hanging open at anything and everything that seems a tad bit different. You wonder if they lived in a cave at some point. I mean, if you’re going to gape at a train, you’ve had to live under some kind of rock.
- The tourists who take photos of everything. And I mean everything. Dust, normal-looking buildings, houses, cars, and the list never ends. The best thing about these types of tourists is when they’ll stop right in the middle of the sidewalk on a busy street or on the street in order to take these pictures. Totally worth getting run over for.
- The “do you speak English?” tourists. On what planet do these tourists live that they think it’s a wise idea to ask that question in a non-English speaking country? I’m sorry guys, but you need to face the ugly truth: English is not a universal language in this case, your laziness is.
- The highly confused tourists. This is the one who is stuck on the blurred line between hesitant and anxious. You could catch these tourists asking people for directions or hopping between trains in a panic. What’s annoying about them is that they’ll easily become rude towards you if you can’t help them out as if you’re only goal in life is to be a human map.
