You’re a freshman in college and you’ve finally made it to your first dorm party. Keep your head up, have fun, and enjoy the college experience. Here are some characters you should be prepared to meet:
1. The Stranger You Have All the Same Classes With
You’ve literally never seen this person before but they claim to be in all of your classes. You’ll only see them at the midterm and final.
2. Your New “Best Friend for Life”
You and this gal really hit it off. Maybe it was the alcohol or the excitement of the party… or maybe it was just the alcohol. You put her in your phone as “Best Friend for Life.” You’ll never text each other, but you’ll share a single awkward wave in Psych next week.
3. The Guy Who Doesn’t Even Go Here
He’ll loudly and proudly talk about how much cooler the parties are at the tiny liberal arts school he attends. You’ll wonder how it is that his school is so rad but he’s so lame.
4. Pukes Magee
Sticking a bunch of 18-year olds together in a building where the only present authority is a 21-year old RA is a recipe for mayhem. Stay with your friends, learn your limits, and be kind to the person hovering over the toilet. It might be you someday.
5. The Girl Who is Perpetually in Line for the Bathroom
She broke the seal and now she has to pee every 15 minutes. Whatever, the bathroom line is a great place to socialize.
6. The “Selfies on the Couch” Crew
They look great together and they’ve found a perfect place to post-up. Their iPhones will illuminate their faces and you’ll think they’d be a lot better off with a Selfie-Stick.
7. That Mysterious Hunk from Sociology Class
He doesn’t talk much, but you just know he’s so insightful. He’s got a red solo cup and he’s standing alone. Be careful, brooding is his M.O.
8. The Philosophy Major
You’ve read some Nietzsche in Philosophy 101 and this guy is itching to talk about it. He’ll be a big help when it comes to finals, but right now he’s kind of bumming you out.
9. Someone from Your Hometown
Why did this person from home have to go to the same school as you? WHY? You’ll worry about them outing you as the weirdo you really are (until you realize they’re just as nervous as you).
10. The Girl Who’s Really Excited to Be Here
She’s never been to a party before and she loves the music and she can’t believe those people are making out in the corner and what’s your major and isn’t this party THE BEST?
11. The Guy Who’s Decked Out in School Merchandise
From the hat to the sweatshirt and finally rounding it off with a university beer koozie, this guy has some serious school pride.
12. The Stoners
Follow the weed smell to a shut bedroom door. Inside, you’ll find the chillest people at the party.
13. Your Actual Best Friend for Life
You’ll be the ones who split an entire plate of pizza rolls. (Shout out to the people who bring food to parties.) You’ll forget most of the conversation, but you’ll remember that you’ve both agreed to live with each other sophomore year. You actually end up living together for the next four years. Shed a tear. You’ve found your person.
