In college you’re told you have to choose between two out of three things: sleep, social life or good grades. Going into the real world, they never told you that work was no longer an option and you had to choose between sleep and a social life. More than that, they never told you you’d lean towards the life of a hermit and not be too ashamed of it.
1. As much as you value relationships, you value sleep more. You love your friends dearly, you really do. They’re all great people. But sleeping…well it’s sleep.
2. Speaking of relationships…fuggedaboutit. You barely have enough time for yourself. Relationships just aren’t in the cards for you.
3. You don’t see people for long periods of time. "We haven’t seen you in a while." You reply with, I’ve been busy. But really, you’ve been catching up on sleep and falling asleep before 10PM every night.
4. And people don’t hear from you because you’re always asleep… or just in bed ignoring life. When people say they texted you, you may have looked at it groggy and just went right back to sleeping.
5. Which is never time wasted. But honestly, you're just a must happier person when you sleep.
6. You make up excuses on the reg just so that you don’t have to go out. You don’t want to lie to your friends. And your dog really did die. And you really are still mourning. But you might have taken advantage of the situation here.
7. You struggle to come up with new excuses. Okay it’s been a while since he died. Now you need to get creative with excuses.
8. And you don’t feel bad about it. Then you come up with one and you’re proud. Not guilty.
9. Your friends threaten you when you deny their invite. The rapid-fire texts start with how they haven’t seen you. They miss you. How you need to come out. You can’t deny you’re the most fun out of all of them. But…sleep.
10. You fall asleep in public more often than not. There are more pictures than you can count of you falling asleep at parties or bars.
11. FOMO isn’t something you suffer from. It's more like FOMS. (Fear of missing sleep).
12. It isn’t that you’re anti social. It just takes something really amazing to get you to go out. You wouldn’t consider yourself antisocial. But unless it’s open bar, you'll probably stay in the comfort of your own bed.
13. “Working from home” results in you falling asleep with a laptop in hand and waking up to a million emails. While many people love working from home, it just doesn’t work for you.
14. You relate to Sleepy Dwarf on the reg. When you're out, all you can think about is how much you miss your bed.
15. You worship Saturday and Sunday morning. Then Friday 5:00 comes. You skip out of your office because you know that you can stay in bed for the next 48 hours of your life.
For more work like this, follow our Facebook fan page