Suburbia: a wonderful but awful place all in one. When you are from the suburbs, you acquire a certain knowledge about the environment you have been surrounded by. You may not have learned about the hard knocks of life, but you definitely picked up a few things during your time there.
- “Garbage Picking Day” should be recognized as a national holiday.
- When you come home and check the suburban Yik Yak game, it makes you realize how much you hate suburban youths.
- You remember that you, yourself, were once a suburban youth and you cringe at the thought every time.
- There is at least one suburban police officer is an absolute scumbag that everybody knows and loathes.
- Loitering is a true art, and you perfected this craft in the seventh grade.
- Until you have a license, you are stuck meeting up with your friends at parks or the local Starbucks until you finally resort to going back to somebody’s house. This is a weekly ritual.
- Once you do get your driver’s license, you become to most powerful person in town… just kidding, you just pick up your friends and drive around until you all come to the consensus that you should hang out at your house.
- You say you are from the closest city possible, but everybody busts you when they ask which area from the city you’re from.
- Seriously, you could be 20 minutes from the city and it will still seem like a far off, magical land.
- You kind of get shocked when you hear about people who don’t have a train station in their town.
- You’ll never admit it, but you can see yourself settling down and raising a family in the suburbs.
- Block parties were where you learned how to rage, thanks to the parents that frequented the keg far more often than they should have.
- You’ve become a master at talking to parents thanks to always running into them.
- Everybody always thinks your town is like Stars Hallow in Gilmore Girls, and you wish you could say it is, but it is definitely not.
- Bunco was always an excuse for your Mom to go out and get drunk off wine with her friends while playing some nonsense game.
- You will always affectionately refer to them as the “’Burbs.’”
- When you come back and go to your hometown bar, the patrons are either “regulars” (suburban dads who are getting out for the night) and people like you (20-somethings who are home and want to get drunk at a convenient spot.)
