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19 “Would You Rather???s That Will Destroy You Forever

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Ask these “Would You Rather?”s and you’ll never have to awkwardly sit across from anyone asking the typical “get to know you” questions ever again.

  1. Would you rather look like Jar Jar Binks, or sound like Jar Jar Binks?
  2. If you could only have one for the rest of your life would you choose: cheese, chocolate, or alcohol?
  3. Would you rather start every sentence with Steve Urkels catch phrase “did I do that” for the rest of your life or watch 2 Broke Girls for 24 hours straight once a month until you die?
  4. Would you rather change gender every time you sneeze, or not be able to tell the difference between a muffin and a baby?
  5. Would you rather die old but be forgotten, or die young and be remembered for 1000 years?
  6. Would you rather, and it would be for the rest of your life, give up oral sex or cheese?
  7. Would you rather drink orange juice, expecting it to be milk or drink milk, expecting it to be orange juice?
  8. Would you rather be extremely beautiful but dumb as rocks or incredibly intelligent but very ugly?
  9. Would you rather argue to preserve your integrity, or bite your tongue to maintain peace?
  10. Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses, or 1 horse sized duck?
  11. Would you rather live forever or die tomorrow?
  12. Would you rather have sex with a goat and be guaranteed no one will ever find out or not have sex with it and have everyone think you did?
  13. Would you rather go back in time and meet your ancestors or go into the future and meet your great grandchildren?
  14. Would you rather wake up naked on a park bench, dildo at hand, with no memory of what happened last night to the McDonald’s clown telling you, “you were loving it” or to the Burger King King telling you, “you had it your way.”
  15. Would you rather be stranded on Jurassic park with no way out, or be trapped in the game Jumanji, having to be harassed by Robin Williams?
  16. Would you rather sweat green liquid or fart purple smoke?
  17. Would you rather always be on the verge of orgasm (24/7), but never actually get there, or at its peak, have a 3 hour long orgasm?
  18. Would you rather magically know the cure for all types of cancer or have sex with the top 5 people in your “to-do” list for 5 years with every year replacing one person in that list. (The list is all inclusive and in your ideal form, past/present. And includes celebrities or your neighbor).
  19. Have a cup of soup -OR- a side salad with your entrée? Trips me up every time.
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