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20 Things You Know When You're Competitive as Fuck

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1. Life isn’t technically a competition 

Only because most people don’t really care what you do.

2. But that doesn’t keep you from treating it like one 

So what if the Joneses don’t care what you do? You’re still going to destroy them with one hell of a victory when all is said and done.

3. There’s no such thing as a prize for participation 

Who even thought this one up?

4. Because you’re either a winner or you’re not 

"Loser” isn’t a nice word, but let’s be real…if you’re not a winner, you’re probably a loser.

5. Your friends and family are your biggest  fans… 

They’ll cheer you on and build you up.

6. …And your biggest competitors

It doesn’t matter if you’re in the same race or not, you still want to beat them.

7. But if you compete too hard, you might lose  them

So maybe you don’t always need to vocalize whether you’re winning or losing.

8. It’s important to celebrate others’ successes 

Because a win for them doesn’t equal a loss for you (even when it feels like it!)

9. And mourn their losses 

Because nobody likes losing, even non-competitive people.

10. And try to make friends along the way

Teamwork makes the dream work, after all.

11. When everything is a competition, it’s hard  not to take things personally 

You know you’d have a hard time faking that congratulatory smile when the Oscar goes to someone else.

12. But it’s important to remember that most  things aren’t

Just because some else is good doesn’t mean you’re not.

13. Competition is the worst part of life… 

When you let it get to your head.

14. …And the best part of life 

Because winning is still the best feeling, am I right?

15. You know you can’t really be the best at everything 

Because you’re human and, therefore, fallible (sorry).

16. But you’re still going to try 

The fastest way to lose is not to try at all.

17. You’ll beat yourself up when you fail 

But you’ve got to stop this.

18. And you might be hard to handle when you  win 

Even though they say joy is infectious.

19. But your friends will be by your side 

Because they’ve got your back no matter what.

20. And in the end, you kind of win just by  living 

Cause there’s a lot of forces out there trying to defeat us humans, and every day you survive is a day you win.


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