Though you wish that bands could make you dance, they can’t because you can’t twerk for sh*t. Even though you really want to.
- You’re the best twerker…in your daydreams.
- You might even have the ass for it, but God forgot to give you rhythm. Dammit.
- Your friends are complete experts. Like… they can do back flips, turns, and cirque de soleil twists all while popping their asses.
- And you look at them like… how???
- You also wonder how it’s even physically possible for girls to make their a** clap… like, actually clap and applaud.
- Or how they can make one cheek move at a time to the beat.
- Let’s not even go into how they can arch their back without breaking their spines and pop their a** cheeks one at a time.
- You’re still figuring out the physics of it all. Like how the flying f*ck???
- You’ve watched countless tutorials on Youtube about how to twerk…
- But when you attempted it, you looked like you were having a seizure.
- And even your cat was looking at you like, b*tch why???
- The day you die is the day you record yourself twerking on camera.
- Like that girl back in freshman year who did a bad twerk video. To this day everyone in your class still remembers it like it’s a holiday.
- Your expert friends have tried teaching you how to twerk like #bossgirl.
- But you still looked like you were having a bunch of demons pulled out of you.
- You most likely pulled a few muscles your back a few times in the process.
- You have no idea how girls do it so well in heels.
- I mean, the sweat and blood that goes into that…literally. It looks like they sweat blood.
- You facepalm everytime your mom drunk twerks at family parties.
- Because then you realize why you suck at twerking. Thanks mom.
- You absolutely dread it when twerk music comes on at the club.
- Because then everyone and their shadows start popping their a**.
- And you’re just standing there awkwardly moving your legs like a depressed chicken.
- Until someone’s lost uncle tries to grind on you…now it’s time to do the running man.