Fellow thespians, we’re a special breed. We’ve been accused of acting cult-like, obsessing over musicals and being all around over-dramatic, but we know everyone else is just jealous. If you’re a theatre kid, you’ll understand:
- How many times must you say, “I can’t, I have rehearsal,” before your non-theatre friends get it?
- Waiting for the cast list to come out is impossible and you are definitely going to throw up in anticipation and ohmygod are they ever going to put that list up??
- She got the lead? Um, ok. You’re definitely fine with that. Yup. You’re totally happy playing the mother.
- Wicked played an important role in your adolescence. Ok, Wicked might still play an important role in your life. Ok, so you’ve cried over a song from Wicked in the past 48 hours. You’re only human.
- Showmances are great, unless the break up comes before opening night. Yikes.
- Putting your music on shuffle at a party is a dangerous game. Sooner or later a song from Annie is going to come on.
- Why do you always get stuck with the worst costume? No one values your luminous stage presence.
- If someone says the name of The Scottish Play in a theater you are going to lose it. You’re not superstitious… but you’re a little stitious.
- Homework? During show week? Yeah, no.
- Anything goes at cast party.
- You can hold out for about three drinks before you start singing Rent.
- You’ve made out with more than one person during a single cast party. You think. It’s all a little fuzzy. Either way, you’re going to strike hungover.
- Show week for a musical means no dairy and chugging tea and honey 24/7. Sing through the pain!
- Forget the Oscars. You are all about the Tonys, and you have practiced your future Tony acceptance speech many times in the shower.
- Being in the chorus is actually more fun! You get to chill with your friends, you don’t have as many lines to memorize…
- Until you finally get the lead. Then being in the chorus is a complete waste of your talent and you can’t believe it took everyone this long to recognize that you’re a rising star.
- What do you mean other people don’t know who Bernadette Peters is? How about Patti Lupone? No?
- You’ve stolen at least one prop. Or five. Oh what, like you’re not going to take home at least one severed hand from Sweeney Todd?
- All the best men are gay. And the one handsome straight guy is sleeping with half the ensemble.
- You’re secretly glad when that one asshole straight guy misses his entrance because he was making out with a costume girl.
- Your stage manager is cast mom. Your director is an eccentric, overbearing-but-lovable uncle. The techies are those cousins you like, but only see once a year. You’re all one big, majorly dysfunctional family.
- All the men in your life have their own eyeliner.
- We’re changing the blocking again?!
- You’ve wept uncontrollably over a show closing.
- Everything is going wrong, there’s no way this show is possibly going to happen, it’s tech week and no one knows their lines, you’ve never been this stressed out, theatre is the worst, BUT you love it anyway, and you’ll do it all again in the next show.
