Growing up is tough; you have a bunch more responsibilities, you can’t drink in the day time and you’re supposed to know the names of all the people you hook up with. And there’s a few things we still do that might be holding this whole maturity malarky back a little. Doesn’t mean we’re likely to stop doing them any time soon though:
- Waking up in a stranger’s bed with your shoes still on….but no pants, never any pants.
- Spending your entire paycheck within 48 hours of receiving it.
- Giving the pizza delivery boy a larger tip for delivering directly to your room.
- Sharing a three bedroom house with three friends, two strangers, someone’s dog and an iguana that no one’s claimed yet.
- Drinking fruity cocktails – its wine, beer or face melting liquor from here on out. Drinking after 30 is not meant to be fun.
- Remaining friends with people that totally hooked up with your ex, a few times, over several nights, when everyone could see. Looking at you Alex.
- Swearing. Like all the fucking time.
- Walks of shame, strides of pride, saunters of you shouldta’ve oughta’s…you know, walking home in the AM in your fancy dress and sex hair.
- Wearing 18 different bracelets from 12 different festivals, some of which you didn’t even go to.
- …and you can take that ankle bracelet off as well. It’s starting to smell funny.
- Getting very large hickey’s in very obvious places.
- Rolling your eyes at every engagement photoshoot that crops up on your FB wall.
- Drunk puking. You’re only allowed to chunder when you’re actually sick.
- Crawling up the stairs like you’re a wild, untamed beast.
- Using song lyrics for your facebook status. Actually, that one should have ended in middle school.
- Pretending that taking the stairs = going to the gym.
- Wearing your favourite T-Shirt you got when you were 16.
- …even though Fall Out Boy are still the greatest band that ever lived.
- Sleeping with your blankey, especially when you’re crashing at someone else’s house.
- Pulling a sickie because you’re too hungover to function.
- Reasoning that pizza is healthy so long as you limit your toppings to only two kinds of meat.
- Only knowing enough about politics to comment on Donald Trump’s hair.
- Writing passive aggressive comments on people’s vacation pictures.
- Getting take away because you only have ketchup, half a sandwich and miracle whip in the fridge.
- Learning to cook beyond you’re famous melted cheese with pasta. It’s not even a real meal.
