27 Things You’ll Understand If You Literally Can’t Stop Eating

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They say practice makes perfect. That you have to exercise the muscle to really get good at something. 

LOL, you don’t exercise your body. But you eat so much now that it’s a part of you. Like falling asleep, or turning the blinker on when you’re making a turn, eating is an instinct. And you do it all the time. 

If you don’t eat every 20-30 minutes, you will shrivel up like a raisin (that you cannot eat) and cry. You must be fed, and you must be fed good things, like cheese fries or pancakes. 

These are the things you’ll only understand if you’re literally always hungry. And if you’re not hungry right now, stop reading, because you’re a freak and you need to eat something.

1. You don’t know what it feels like to be full, because you are always hungry. Even after you just ate a double cheeseburger and a bucket of tater tots. 

2. “Free food” is your mating call. 

3. No one—absolutely no one—deserves to see the face you make when someone asks you to share what’s on your plate. 

4. Food. Food. Food. Food. Food. These are the words that dance in your head.

5. When you go to a restaurant and there’s free bread or chips, you’ve eaten it all before anyone else could get their hands on any of it. And you did it involuntarily. 

6. Every day is Thanksgiving.

7. So actual Thanksgiving is like . . . double Thanksgiving.

8. You never have leftovers.

9. I’m sorry. What are leftovers, anyway? 

10. Because you eat all the food that is there. Even if you’re not even hungry anymore. Jk. Jk. You are always hungry.

11. Your food baby has a name, and you love it more than anything. 

12. And it cries when you haven’t eaten in 20 minutes.

13. You will eat anything that’s right in front of you. Even if you hate it.

14. Even if you’re kind of allergic to it. 

15. Me want food is a thing you’re constantly internally screaming . 

16. "You won’t like me when I’m hangry,” is a thing you have to say on first dates. 

17. Food or sex? The answer is always food. 

18. Salad is not food. It is nothing more than a light snack for bunnies. 

19. The only solution to when you eat too much . . . is to eat more. 

20. Sometimes, you get up to get something to eat, only to realize that you were already eating. 

21. Your fridge is alway empty, because you can’t manage to leave anything in it, uneaten. 

22. Seriously though . . . you can’t sleep through the night, knowing that there is anything in your kitchen that hasn’t been consumed. 

23. Your solution for sadness? Eating.

24. Your solution for happiness? Also eating.

25. When you’re drunk you eat double the amount of what you normally would.

26. You exclusively dream about food. 

27. You’ll eat anywhere. Even at a restaurant with negative reviews on Yelp. If they have food, it’s fine . . . as long as it’s not only salads. 

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