Purses and bags are more than just an accessory – they’re a necessity, a way of life. Especially if you’re a mom.
You feel naked when you leave the house without one, despite the fact that you never keep it as clean and organized as you should…
- Clutter is an understatement.
- You call your bag the “Mary Poppins Bag.” Or the litter box. It’s just that full of shit.
- Those crumpled up receipts take up way too much real estate…
- …But despite that, you never really get around to throwing them away, either.
- Every time you think you lose something you end up finding it at the bottom of your bag…
- …Well, you didn’t really find it – you sort of just felt your way to it through all the other junk.
- You don’t actually know how many times you’ve said, “Oh I just found it at the bottom of my bag!”
- Your response when you can’t find something is: “Oh, I didn’t lose it, I just don’t know where it is.”
- Also, how did that gum get over there?
- Whatever, too late to get it out now – it’s probably solidified its way into the fabric of your bag’s being.
- Your bag is like your pet…
- …Down, baggy.
- You know that whatever you manage to pull out of it is a total lottery…
- …You’re ready for surprises.
- Toys, diapers, binkies…oh my!
- Whenever you’re at the cashier, you stand there with your arm jerking around in your purse, trying to find your wallet for like ten minutes…
- …You’ve had to train yourself to do that while you’re in line now, so that you’re prepared for the big moment.
- There are days your bag cooperates and days it just has a mind of its own…
- …After all, didn’t you hear? Bad bag days are the new bad hair days.
- Your purse is like a sea of tampons. There’s nothing quite like finding a random one when you need it the most.
- If a friend offers to get something out of your purse for you, you warn him or her – they don’t know the monster they’re dealing with.
- Your bag’s at least three times heavier than it should be with all the coins that are swimming in it…
- …They even jingle when you walk around. People think you’re a walking Christmas carol.
- Your bag has a wider selection of goods than your local pharmacy…
- …At least three different brands of lipstick, a colorful assortment of mints and gum, Advil and Ibuprofen, not to mention a plethora of tissues. Duane who? CVS what?
- No matter what your bag puts you through sometimes, you’ll always guard it with your life…
- This means crazily darting your eyes around in social situations, just in case you encounter a pickpocket. Hands off.