“Am I doing this right?” – You, playing any sport:
1. Your parents probably tried to force sports upon you at a young age.
2. …And then stopped after you failed their expectations.
3. You were always picked last in gym class.
5. …But you don’t even blame the other students for their decision, tbh.
6. If someone throws anything in your direction…
7. You duck instead of trying to catch it.
8. Playing sports in high school would have been social suicide for you.
9. You don’t understand the desire to be a goalie in any sport.
10. Completing a 12-minute mile is unrealistic to you.
11. You can’t even run without looking silly.
12. (And you get winded really easily.)
13. There really doesn’t seem to be a single sport that fits your skillset (or lack thereof).
14. Speed-walking is about all you’re capable of…
15. Without looking like a damn fool.
16. Your hand-eye coordination is dogsh*t.
17. If you had the bravery to try a sport…
18. You always ended up quitting…
19. Or sitting the bench.
20. You can’t seem to understand the natural athleticism of your counterparts.
21. Being a jock is an image you’ve never strived for.
22. Your collection of excuses to avoid playing sports is as lengthy as Oxford’s dictionary.
23. You’ve probably been injured on occasions where you tried to be athletic.
24. Your competitive spirit lies in other interests.
25. Labeling you as “lethargic” or “delicate” wouldn’t be totally wrong.
26. Because sports are really just not your thing…
27. So you’ll stick to sitting in the stands…
28. Or being the glorified water boy/girl.