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31 Things Only The Queen of Clutter Can Relate to

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Keeping things orderly isn’t exactly your thing. People constantly tell you that if your head wasn’t screwed on, you’d lose that too. You won’t be caught dead with a label gun or drawer separators. You can’t fold to save your life, and you’re okay with that. Sometimes, though, your life can get a little hairy.

  1. You’re always losing your phone when it’s right next to you.
  2. You dig through your clutch looking for lipstick, only to find 8,000 pens, 4 maxi pads, and a magnifying glass instead.
  3. Your socks almost never match.
  4. You own lots of cleaning products, but they’re hiding underneath all the things that still need to be cleaned.
  5. It takes you an extra half hour to gather the basics before you are ready to go…
  6. …But you still go in and out of the apartment at least twice before you finally leave.
  7. You have no counter space anywhere because it’s littered with bottles, pens, hair brushes, and notepads.
  8. You still somehow can never find a notepad…or a pen.
  9. You trip on your shoes coming in and out of your place.
  10. You can’t understand why people make the bed. I mean, you’re just going to mess it up again anyway.
  11. Dishes and mugs definitely don’t have to match. Who came up with that rule?
  12. You swear there’s something living in the apartment that eats hair ties.
  13. Most of the cartons and Tupperware in your fridge contain nothing.
  14. You’re convinced the dishes “need to soak” for at least 12 hours before they’re ready to be washed.
  15. Your keys are never by the door where they should be, and never in the same bag pocket when you get home.
  16. You’ve pushed the garbage down in the bin so many times that you think you have a future as a human trash compactor.
  17. Paper constantly disappears – if you don’t take a picture of it, it’s gone forever.
  18. You just had a great idea, but then someone distracted you with a donut and you can’t remember what it was.
  19. You have accumulated a closet full of plastic supermarket bags because you are convinced there’s a use for them.
  20. Your shower caddy is littered with empty shampoo bottles and loofahs that are never put to use. Your razor remains at large.
  21. Under the bed – three words that fill you with abject terror.
  22. You suspect that either the scissors have legs, or the cat is playing games with you.
  23. You look at organization tips on Pinterest and laugh. Yeah, right.
  24. You secretly wish you could be organized, but you have no idea what an organized thought process looks like, let alone an organized space.
  25. It takes you forever to pay for things because your bills are all scrunched up in your wallet.
  26. The bouncers at bars suspect you’re underage because of how much time you take to find your ID.
  27. You watch the show Hoarders because it makes you feel better about yourself.
  28. You rarely have company, because you know if you do you’ll have to take 48 hours just to clean the apartment.
  29. Your notes look like the blackboard in Good Will Hunting.
  30. You speak to people as if you’re in the middle of a conversation already, with phrases like “You know…” and “I get it now…”.
  31. You leave your holiday decorations up for at least an extra month every year.

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