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35 Signs You Are So Over Winter

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While winter is about three months long in calendar days, the same as any other season, it seems to spread itself out on both ends.

While in early December that first special Christmas snow may make us feel all warm and cozy inside, by the third week of March we have had enough. Here are some clues that you have had your fill of Old Man Winter.

  1. You put the catalogs featuring sweaters on the cover directly into the recycling bin.
  2. You splurged on a pedicure because you’re tired of having reptile feet. You don’t care no one else can see it.
  3. When you surf the Internet, you find yourself stopping on the crystal clear beaches that are popping up on your screen.
  4. You’ve started naming the storms yourself instead of waiting for The Weather Channel to do it. None of them are appropriate to list here.
  5. You’ve given up on your car. It’s filthy in and out and you can’t keep up.
  6. The salt on your boots is so stained into the leather that you’ve stopped cleaning it.
  7. You’re embracing that spare tire of yours that you’ve let inflate since the second week of January.
  8. You gave up all your New Year’s Resolutions because you’re in a pit of despair and you don’t see the point.
  9. Your habit of an occasional scotch and soda is now your nightly ritual. Twice.
  10. You can’t find your gym bag.
  11. Your sneakers are frozen in the trunk of you car.
  12. Cream cheese is in almost every meal you eat.
  13. You’ve grown used to that mossy wet feeling you get on the bottom of your feet after you’ve walked through the slush.
  14. You have a stash of shoes under your desk because you’re tired of packing them up every night.
  15. You’ve moved to the next larger size coffee….
  16. …And perhaps jeans size as well.
  17. With the end of the football season you find yourself mindlessly watching cheerleading competitions on television.
  18. You’ve exhausted all the episodes of your Netflix obsession.
  19. You find nothing wrong with wearing your bathrobe over your work clothes. At 6:00 p.m.
  20. You are late every morning because you can’t get yourself out of bed even after pushing the snooze three times.
  21. You find yourself pulling your hat down almost over your eyes on the subway because you want to be alone when you weep.
  22. You’re watching re-runs of re-runs.
  23. You find yourself going to bed earlier every night, but waking up even more exhausted the next day.
  24. You think you couldn’t possibly go out at this crazy hour of the night only to release it’s 7:30.
  25. You wish your dog knew how to use the toilet. You’ve told him so on more than one occasion.
  26. The rug in your front hall way is so dirty you forgot what color it was.
  27. You don’t see anything wrong with wearing velour pants to work.
  28. You say bad words when you hear the heat kick on again.
  29. You had a cache of food to be ready for the next apocalyptic snow storm, but you ate it. All of it.
  30. You really don’t care if the mailman said he won’t deliver your mail if you don’t shovel your walk.
  31. You’ve grown used to driving with your shoulders up in your ears because you didn’t let the car warm up.
  32. You aren’t afraid to drive in the snow anymore. This is not a good thing. Just because you aren’t afraid of it doesn’t make you good at it.
  33. You’ve trolled on real estate sites for homes in warmer climates.
  34. You’re excited to visit your grandparents in their gated community. In Florida.
  35. You wake up every morning and check your phone for a snow day or a two-hour delay or a travel advisory. Anything. Anything at all.

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