Fed up of blowing all your money at the tables? Let us take you though the best day you can have in Vegas without hitting the casinos.
1. The morning…
Vegas is known for excesses and as a result you probably aren’t feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed the day after the night before. It’s 80 degrees in the shade, theres pool parties a-waiting, and your hook-up from last night wants to meet you for mimosas but the thought of leaving your darkened air conditioned room is giving you the hangover shakes. Never fear help is on the way in the form of Hangover Heaven. They provide a number of hangover care packages to get rid of your unsociable affliction and get you back into the thick of it. Their strongest cure is called the Rapture Package ($239) and includes huffing oxygen for 30 minutes while getting 2 liters of IV fluid being shot into your arm, all of which they promise will get you back on your feet and ready to start the messy process all over again. Drop an extra 60 bucks and they’ll even come and deliver this life saving elixir to your hotel room. Now you have no excuse for getting back on it.
2. Midday activities…
Want to go all Jason Bourne without the hassle becoming a secret agent or filling out a bunch of firearm license forms? Then “The Gun Store” Las Vegas is the place for you. A shop that goes a little beyond regular shooting ranges, The Gun Store offers packages catering to ladies ($79.95), history buffs (149.95) , and zombie apocalypse aficionados ($174.95), or you can just go and pick 6 hand cannons that take your fancy ($359.95). With a choice that would make the founding fathers proud you can go in and shoot anything from an Uzi to a Sniper rifle allowing you to take your frustrations out on a paper target rather than your colleagues.
3. Dinner…
Un-do your belts because you’re going to need the room. The Heart Attack Grill is aptly named as you’re unlikely to leave this place without having some serious heart palpitations. For a start if you haven’t shed your Christmas weight yet you could end up eating for free, if you weigh a paltry 350lbs the tab is on them but you will have to get weighed before you eat. Their menu would drive any nutritionist to tears with such highlights as the Deep Fried Twinkie Shake ($6.48) the Half Pound Coronary Dog ($8.83) and an Octuple Bypass Burger ($21.28) that comes with 40 slices of bacon! You can wash it all down with a Maple Bacon Obscene Shake ($6.48) and then step outside for a un-filtered smoke from their “vegan menu” ($7.40). Probably best not to mention this trip to your health care insurer.
4. Your evening…
It wouldn’t be Vegas without a massive blow-out culminating in a marriage you’ll forget all about by the next morning, and as you’re in Vegas you should do it in style. Dinner In The Sky is offering customers the chance to be hoisted 180 feet in the sky in order to lounge around, have a nibble, enjoy some cocktails or even get married. The Dinner Sky team will strap you into a custom made 22 seater dinner table complete with a chef, a Maitre d’, and a mixologist, you will then be winched up over the Las Vegas strip guaranteeing the best view in the City as you say your vows.
There you have it, a guide to Vegas that doesn’t include re-mortgaging your house in order to double down on the blackjack table, it might be worth taking out some extra health insurance before you leave though.