Aging and maturity don’t always go together. Perhaps it’s time we reinstate the timeout. I’m just talking about some good ol’ quiet self-reflection.
Here are some “adults” that should sit in the corner and think about what they did:
1. Donald Trump
Sometimes when I get upset I start shouting irrationally, too. You think you know what you’re talking about and then people start asking too many questions. You think saying more words is going to make you feel better and it just never does. It’s so tough to get out of that “Terrible Two” phase, you know? Here’s some advice, Mr. Trump. Put the microphone down, go to your nearest hotel, crawl into a big comfy bed, and take a nap. Just be quiet for a while. You’re upsetting everyone around you.
2. All 19 Duggars
Oh my gosh, where to begin? Just go to your room. All of you. Not just Josh, I mean all of you. Your views on familial roles are upsetting, unhealthy, and clearly not working. You need to go away for a little while and have some clear open communication with each other. Really hash it out. Get the little ones involved, too.
3. Kim Davis
Sometimes kids have trouble understanding that they don’t get to tell other people how to live. It’s a lesson we all have to learn somewhere between kindergarten and first grade, or in this case between holding a government position and getting jail time. By extension, Mike Huckabee should be put in timeout too.
4. Dr. Oz
Oh you little sh*t-stirrer. I’m sick of this “Dr. Game.” It has gone too far. What do you think you’re doing? Put that license away, you’re only hurting innocent people. You’re a scam artist! You’re just telling people what they want to hear and you’re not telling them the truth! That’s it, no more television for you for a lifetime. I’m taking it away.
5. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
THAT’S IT! I’m turning this car around right now. I have to separate you. Kim, I’m taking your phone away. You’re on it all the time and you’re a bad influence on the other girls. Do not roll your eyes when I’m talking to you. Kanye, I just don’t know what to do with you anymore. And I don’t know if you were joking or being serious, please stop making a joke of the presidential race. They’re already doing a good job of that and you’re making it worse.
