55 Signs Chocolate Is Your Spirit Animal

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I thought I had my dream  (part-time) job.

People tell you, do what you love. What I loved was chocolate.

So when I was younger I applied to a job at a chocolate store. What started as the dream, later turned into gaining ten pounds, eating away my paycheck and – despite all that – still being completely in love with chocolate. But had to quit.

  1. You love every type of chocolate.
  2. Even if you wouldn’t prefer one type…
  3. You respect it.
  4. Because every piece of chocolate is special in its own way.
  5. Except you know white chocolate really doesn’t count.
  6. Yet you still accept it in the chocolate family.
  7. And when you get those boxes in which you don’t know which piece is which…
  8. It’s almost like a game.
  9. Everyone who knows you…
  10. Knows you have a secret stash full of chocolate.
  11. You never need an excuse to eat it…
  12. Nor do you feel guilty when you do.
  13. You always loved when your mom packed chocolate in your lunch.
  14. Or when they gave away free samples, you never took just one.
  15. Or when people left a sign during Halloween explaining you should take one and you took two handfuls.
  16. And you have the ability to distinguish types of chocolate if blindfolded.
  17. You know what brands are the best.
  18. And you only buy the best chocolate.
  19. Holidays are your favorite, because you know there will be chocolate.
  20. And you know the day after Valentines chocolate is always 50% off.
  21. While chocolate potato chips sound weird…
  22. You know they are life’s hidden secret.
  23. Chocolate fountains at celebrations are the death of you.
  24. And your favorite part of the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory are the first 5 minutes when they are in the factory.
  25. Whenever people tell you they don’t like chocolate…
  26. You look at them like they are an alien and…
  27. You say what is wrong with you.
  28. You are a Godiva Rewards Member
  29. In fact you have more than one account…
  30. Because who doesn’t like discounts.
  31. You know the history of the chocolate.
  32. Despite this love affair, you have never had a cavity.
  33. Reading this is making you want to go out and buy chocolate.
  34. You know chocolate taste better in the fridge…
  35. But in the freezer it makes it too hard to enjoy.
  36. And if someone ask you, your favorite piece…
  37. It’s like picking your favorite child you can’t…
  38. But secretly you have one you like more that you wouldn’t admit.
  39. You resonate with “Chocolate Boy,” on Hey Arnold…
  40. And the guy who chases Spongebob to buy chocolate.
  41. You understand the struggle…
  42. Because whenever someone is selling chocolate you buy it.
  43. You aren’t embarrassed to buy yourself chocolate on Valentines…
  44. In fact, you encourage it – not just of yourself but everyone.
  45. Anyone who dates you knows never pick flowers over chocolate, or you’d dump them.
  46. In fact, you will probably give them chocolate too…
  47. Just so you can eat it.
  48. You know the struggle of leaving chocolate in a car.
  49. Or in a backpack or purse…
  50. And that defeating moment you reach for it…
  51. And it doesn’t exist.
  52. And you begin to almost cry.
  53. And someone tells you, you have a problem.
  54. But you don’t see it as a problem…
  55. It’s a lifestyle choice.

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