If you’re a weathered globetrotter, you’ve already come across the traveling Aussies: they’re fun, laidback, and always down to party.
As Americans, we tend to meet most Aussies while traveling or living on the road. They definitely make great travel companions, but they also make some of the best friends.
If you haven’t had the chance to get to know some Aussie guys or gals, your heart just won’t be complete until you do:
1. They use the word cunt like Americans use bro.
To most Americans, the word cunt is nothing less than appalling, outrageous, or abominable. If anyone were to use that word, it would be downright fucked up and wrong.
But to an Aussie, cunt is actually a form of endearment. What’s up ya crazy cunt? If a new Aussie friend starts callin’ ya cunt, then you’ve definitely passed their standards of being chill as.
2. They’ll teach you all the fun Aussie lingo.
Wondering who started the whole sitch and legit revolution? Certainly wasn’t America that came up with those abbrevs for situation and legitimate.
Australians abbreviate everything – like, everything. Maybe it’s because it’s fun, maybe it’s because they’re lazy, but either way it’s fucking awesome.
Suspicious becomes suss, afternoon becomes arvo, and here’s the real kicker: can’t be fucked becomes “seebs.” (After a giving genuine effort to saying C.B.F. (SEE.BEE.EFF) – for can’t be fucked – they decided to just stick with the first half and call it a fuckin’ day).
They literally can’t be fucked to even say can’t be fucked.
3. The time difference is a pain in the ass, but it makes for great convo.
If you think that you and your Aussie friend have good conversations now, just wait til he/she heads back to Australia and you’re on completely different schedules.
The 14-17 hour time difference puts you two on a black and white routine of: you’re drunk when it’s the middle of the day for them, and you’re sleeping when they’re drunk.
Actually, no, nevermind, they’re always drunk.
4. They add “ie” or “y” to the end of just about anything…
And isn’t every word just more fun like that? Every Michael is known as Mikey, alcohol becomes alchy, football becomes footie, and mosquitoes become mozzies.
American men have such big egos that using cute nicknames like Nicky or Sammy would only fly from pretty girls; Aussies don’t mind – they got that game down right.
5. They have 7,893,2578 friends.
Aussies have a great network of friends – probably because they’re so damn likeable. They’ll always have friends they’re running into, and cool new peeps to introduce you to.
Most of the time they’re the epitome of social butterflies and love being the life of the party, so don’t expect them to stay by your side all night.
6. They love vegemite. Like, love it.
I’m sorry in advance to any Aussie reading this, but I hate vegemite. I just hate it. But to see any culture promote a form of food that literally every single person is obsessed with is kinda crazy.
Hey, anyone who loves anything that much deserves some credit. But here’s some advice: If you’re not from Straya, and you eat vegemite, you’re going to have a bad time.
7. They’re tough as fuck.
You’re wondering who’s gonna be the last man standing? An Aussie. If you’re looking for a good time, crazy stories, and someone to wingman you all fuckin’ night, they’re your go to.
Broken arm, black eye, shark bite or not – they will get back up, crack open a frothie, and let the party go on.
8. They’re all fuckin’ cunts.
A normal friend will ask you how you’re doing when you’re sick; he or she will show genuine concern for your well being.
An Aussie friend will give you a full on loving smack in the face when you’re feeling full devo…
They’ll tell you to drink a glass of concrete, and harden the fuck up.