Cheese is always the answer:
1. Your pizza always comes with extra cheese.
Cheese always trumps every other second-class ingredient on your pie. We’re talking parmesean, romano, cheddar, mozzarella, Colby Jack, Gruyere, and then some. You don’t f*ck around.
2. You were probably a cheese connoisseur in a past life.
You’ve been putting down blocks since the day you could chew. You didn’t choose cheese. The cheese life chose you – probably because it’s your soul’s favorite food.
3. You pass judgement on people based on their taste in cheese.
Your mature pallet doesn’t have time for the basic bitches of the cheese world. Oh, your favorite cheese is “American?” I think you mean “processed.” *hair flip*
4. You will try any cheese—no matter how putrid.
“Aged” isn’t a dirty word here and mold is basically a garnish. You will try cheese even if it smells/looks like a homeless man’s crusty-ass feet, because cheese is love, cheese is life.
5. You will try mixing cheese with anything.
Cheese with sushi, cheese with cookies, cheese with bananas. You might turn heads with your antics, but cheese is ALWAYS a good idea, even if it seems completely out of context.
6. You love cheese in all of its most popular forms.
Cheese whiz, mac n cheese, cheesecake, cream cheese, grilled cheese, cheese dogs, fondue, mozzarella sticks. You can do anything with this food because it’s basically a gift from God.
7. You simply can’t pick a favorite.
That’s like asking a parent to pick their favorite child. “But Muenster cheese—that’s some good sh*t. And Gouda. And bleu.” You get the picture.
8. Your digestive system hates you.
Love doesn’t come without sacrifices, and you have no regrets here. But your colon hates you.
Don’t forget to try some of the lovely vegan cheeses out there like Violife