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9 Signs You're A Future Real Housewife

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It doesn’t matter if you hail from Long Island or Orange County, you were destined to be the greatest of all real housewives. You might not be one of these glamorous ladies just yet, but wait for it. Your time of being the ultimate partner will come. In the meantime, trust us with these signs that you’re the greatest future housewife that every will be.

1. You drink wine.

This one is the ultimate given, but it’s not that you just drink wine. Oh, no. You know the difference between your Pinot Grigio and Merlot, and you never drink anything from before 2000. Peasants bow in your wine knowledge and you simply love it. Let them drink Franzia!

2. You drink Starbs.

You’re basically on a cleanse by only drinking Starbs and wine. You have your very own, specific drink order that your local barista already knows because you go to Starbs everyday. You also would never say Starbucks, that’s for basic people. Starbs.

3. You love the gym.

We’re talking about you using the elliptical or the treadmill at least six times a week. You find enjoyment in having a great body to show off not for others, but just for yourself. Except you’re not really into weights above 5 lbs. That’s just excessive.

4. You freakin’ love velour.

You love that soft jumpsuit more than you can handle it and you proudly own Juicy Couture. Don’t lie, we know you do. You also have some serious deep emotions with PINK yoga pants still. Comfort is comfort, and you won’t sacrifice it.

5. You’ve thought on multiple occasions, “I’m totally gonna be the cool mom.”

You’ve had daydreams of picking up your son and his friends in your minivan and bringing them back to the house, where you’ve already made pizza rolls. You’ve also thought about your daughter telling you about her latest crush and her friends going to you for your advice.

6. You’ve seen every episode of “Chopp’d”.

You are a Food Network junkie, watching every show from “Chopp’d” to Giada. You love the idea of making a big meal for you and your partner, or maybe the fam. You simply enjoy researching new recipes and new, creative ways to make delicious dishes.

7. You f*****g love Target.

This store is your literal heaven. Every time you grace this red ball oasis, you walk in with anticipation and exit with the feeling of pure happiness and household items. You can spend hours in the decorating section, but also wine is 6 for $20. So you might make a pit stop there. 

8. You just like shopping in general.

It doesn’t need to be shopping sprees, or shopping for just designer brands. You simply love the feeling that you get when swiping your debit card and hearing that it was accepted. Even buying a new toothbrush is a little bit of a rush.

9. You have Pinterest’d your life.

You have pin boards for outfits, your wedding, you kid’s outfits, your job, and your future home. You’ve planned out most of your life on this website, and all you need to do is put it into action. You totally know that there is no shame in having a plan.


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